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E - Everyone

The end

by kostia


They heard the war declaration in the dim light, near the fire, holding their breath. They listened to the truth again as they transmitted it. The same truth that everyone in the world were hearing at the same time, terrifieded and desperate in their homes. They didn't cry or hug. They stood there together but apart, motionless and speechless. They knew in their hearts, that they were good fighters, trained fairly. Every step they took until now was made for them to reach this point. To listen to the declaration, to knowingly transmit it themselves throught the masses, to be ready. And they couldn't have been more ready in every technical aspect.

They were taught that they could die for any cause instructed since they had nothing left to lose. But standing there after the radio went silent, no one spoke a word. The only sound in this crowded space was the one of eachother breathing. They fell in love with it as they listened. Their brothers' and sisters' existance contained in a whisper.. At that insnstant they felt a deep love for one another, unlike any other feeling they had known, almost as if it wasn't human. They were all touched by a divinity as they breathed their remaining air of freedom. Never had they felt a thing so strange and absolut before. In that state they loved and forgave all the men that would die in each side and they drunk together all night, in the name of their unfortunate fate, looking down at the ground they were destined to meet, saying nothing. It was the very first time that the wicked feared death. 


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20 Reviews


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Reviews: 20

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Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:40 pm
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Morgan says...



Hi. I’m Morgan. I’m a little new so....yeah. ANYWAY............

I know that you said this could use some work, but I would say maybe not that much. I mean, I think this was great other than a few mistakes that i’mpretty sure you’d be able to fix if you read it over, but everything else is pretty good. Your wording was exceptional and not something that anyone could just pull off.

While reading this, just made me wonder where the rest of the story is. I’m pretty sure that if I tried, I would be able to find it, but if you just wrote this just for the fun of it then that’s totally okay with me. Maybe try and see if you could use this in a full length story. Or maybe a short one. Either way, I totally respect your decisions and I am still super glad that I was able to read and review this.

btw...i love your avatar. PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!




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20 Reviews


Points: 291
Reviews: 20

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Tue Feb 26, 2019 9:40 pm
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Morgan wrote a review...



Hi. I’m Morgan. I’m a little new so....yeah. ANYWAY............

I know that you said this could use some work, but I would say maybe not that much. I mean, I think this was great other than a few mistakes that i’mpretty sure you’d be able to fix if you read it over, but everything else is pretty good. Your wording was exceptional and not something that anyone could just pull off.

While reading this, just made me wonder where the rest of the story is. I’m pretty sure that if I tried, I would be able to find it, but if you just wrote this just for the fun of it then that’s totally okay with me. Maybe try and see if you could use this in a full length story. Or maybe a short one. Either way, I totally respect your decisions and I am still super glad that I was able to read and review this.

btw...i love your avatar. PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!




kostia says...


First of all welcome to the site! Thank you so much! I am really happy you liked it. This is a part of a story I am writing I have posted some other parts of it as well in the past. You can find them under related items. However I only upload parts that trouble me in order to get some suggestions. :)



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Mon Feb 25, 2019 8:48 pm
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authorvibezz wrote a review...



The content of this is super great! I love the general idea of the piece and is definitely a good start. I'd suggest that you use more short sentences instead of commas.
For example here,
"They listened to the truth again as they transmitted it, the same truth that everyone in the world were hearing at the same time, terrifieded and desperate in their homes."

It would have more effect if you wrote it like:
"They listened to the truth again as they transmitted it. The same truth that everyone in the world were hearing at the same time. Terrified and desperate in their homes."

Overall, a great start to this part of your piece. I hope this has helped a bit :)




kostia says...


Hello there. You are so right! I knew something was off and I wasn't sure if short sentences would make it better or worse but now that you pointed out I will definately try it! Thanks a lot. that really was helpful. The truth is I am not so great with punctuation. I always try to fit everything in one sentance for no reason at all. lol



authorvibezz says...


I'm the same tbh! Then I read it and realise it needs a bit more edge. The more writing you do will help improve that punctuation :)



kostia says...


Yeah I only seem to have this problem with English since in my language long sentences are more common. But I will work on it! Again thanks a lot! :)




I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
— Steven Wright