I come from a land where the peace in my people’s hearts won the war.
I refrain from searching the lives of the lost ones, I refrain from trying to find their places in this land. I refrain from hatred that has marked my childhood forever, as the bombs were the only fireworks my brothers had seen while counting the seconds till the new year of blood and tears. I refrain from everything I believed that is necessary for new beginning. Because I cannot end it. I refrain from wondering why had the war started in first place and where are the people who broke my father’s heart. Today, I’m thankful that the justice is still somewhere among us and that God still remembers us. I refrain from searching for the truth. I would probably refrain from you and me too, but I cannot because who would walk proudly through these streets of pride and glory? Who would shed a tear while looking at this shattered church and remembering our mother’s faces while our fathers were being trapped in the camps of despair and humiliation?
Who would protect my country and my people?
Someone attacked our country, someone attacked our schools, the parks where we first kissed and the movie theaters we used to spend our time at. Someone attacked our history and today we are rebuilding it. There are no bodies and souls stronger than ours, my friend. Where is the smile on your face? Where is the joy that used to make your face shine blissfully? Someone stole our dreams, but don’t you worry, because today we will gather and pay respect to the ones we lost. We will gather and relive our past - give all of our hearts to this country in order to make our present days blessed and pray for the future. Don’t worry about the ruins that surround you, we are rebuilding this country that has always been hidden in ourselves.
The country – it’s us.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
I really liked this. No, I really, really, really, liked this. It was a very moving piece.
I don't know anything about war, or rebuilding a county from ruins. For I am one of the many who live their near perfect life so easily while others struggle. But when I read this, I felt as if it where my home being torn apart, my father who had to leave home, my mother who had such a sad face.
I really don't have much else to say about this piece. But from now on I will try so much harder to reach out to these other places that have been torn apart, and help rebuild them, even if they aren't my home or family.
You did quite amazing job with this. I don't know what else to say...
Thanks, it means a lot
I really liked this! This line though, "I would probably refrain from you and me too..." didn't really make sense to me? If you could maybe choose different words to make your meaning clearer
For the type of writing it is, I think you made really good use of both proper English and more raw, passionate writing. A lot of emotion really came through, but it was restrained perfectly. I think, though, that when you say, "... and the movie theaters we used to spend our time at," it would be better to write, "...and the movie theater at which we used to spend our time." I understand that you don't want it to sound stuffy, but making that part correct will really polish it up while retaining the original feeling.
Really great job. It was like an essay, but had a feeling of a story, too ... a creative nonfiction, I guess you could say.
Thanks for the help!