Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.
PROLOGUE
"Otto!" Looking up from my nap, I see my humans, standing in front of the door. The little one smiles and runs towards me. "Tyra!" My humans are back! Unable to stop purring, I jump up on her leg. She scoops me up, carrying me to the couch, and turns on the TV.
She puts on our favourite show, My Little Pony, and we watch until its time for dinner. Today, dad has made us hamburger helper, and, along with a small taste of it, he serves me my usual kibble. Tyra's favourite dish is hamburger helper, but today, she doesn't act like it.
Rather than the usual joyous chatter while we eat, everyone seems tense. Mom and dad keep glancing towards the windows, TV, and door, almost as if they think there's some sort of monster outside. Tyra's hand shakes as she cautiously brings a mostly-empty spoonful of the food to her mouth.
What's going on? Why is everyone acting so weirdly? Trying to lighten the mood, I hop up on the table, purring and rubbing against Tyra, but dad shoos me off, Almost meanly. Okay, if these guys wanna act weird, I'll let them. I overdramatically stomp my way over to my bed, plopping myself down and promptly falling asleep. Maybe they'll have fixed their attitude by tomorrow.
CHAPTER 1: WHEN THE SKY FALLS
I'm woken up, met with complete darkness, by the noise of my humans running around the house. I can tell, both by the lack of light and my internal clock, that it's the middle of the night, a time when my humans are always asleep. What are they doing up now? I walk to the living room and see the TV is on. On the screen is a serious looking man, holding some kind of weird stick up to his face as he talks. How boring, who put this on?
Mom and dad are frantically running around the house with bags, grabbing food, water, and light-sticks. Tyra sits on the ground, huddled up in the corner, crying. What's happening? I run to mom, rubbing against her legs to get her attention, but she shoves me away and continues hurrying. Dad picks up Tyra, carrying her to the locked room, putting her in and shutting the door. The locked room? Nobody ever goes in there?
Blaring sounds suddenly burst the air around me. Hundreds of loud screeches, like warnings. Mom and dad jump as soon as they here them go off. Mom leaves the fridge open, and they both run to the locked room.
The fridge! There's tons of yummy food in there. Maybe some cheese will take my mind off the craziness. I hop in the fridge, digging around for the cheese, when the world shakes, slamming the fridge shut. What the hell? The light goes off, and I'm stuck in the dark, claustrophobic fridge as it shakes madly, falling on its side. Food jumps all around the space, a chunk of mean slams into my side. The fridge is cold, but suddenly, the air burns, like the fire in the fireplace, but worse. The heat is unbearable, burning my skin and singeing my fur. A heavy container of leftovers slams into my head, and the darkness is replaces by searing, red light, and then nothingness.
CHAPTER 2: A NEW WORLD
When I wake up, the first thing I notice is that the fridge, usually cold, is warm. Slowly, I sit up. Everything hurts. What happened? I push the fridge door open and crawl out. Looking around, I don't know where I am. I'm in some sort of.. wasteland? It almost looks like the savannah i see on TV sometimes, with lions, and cheetahs, and gazelles, except this place is more.. empty? Then, I notice something.
On the ground, a bowl lies, misshapen and rusted, but i can still make out the print, "Otto", in fancy letters, bordered by drawings of paws. My bowl.. my house? This cant be my house.. where is it? Where is everything?
A few feet away, i can see the locked room, the door still stands leading into the ground. I stumble toward it as fast as I can, my throat aching as I attempt to meow, but only manage to croak. Once I reach the door, I try scratching it, but its hot, and burns my paws. Still, I scratch, and I meow, as loud as i can.
Save me! Let me in! Let me hide with you! I can hear my human, Tyra, cry for me too, but mom and dad wont open the door. Why wont they open it? Why wont they let me in? I keep scratching, keep crying, but fatigue weighs me down. More than fatigue, an illness of some sort. I feel sick, and I vomit on to the door. For some reason, its red. Isn't that odd? Last time it was red, mom and dad took me to the medical man, and I felt better after a few days.
If they just open this door, they'll see it, and they'll help me. Please just open the door.. I cant scratch anymore, I cant cry. I collapse, and once again, all goes dark.
CHAPTER 3: A GLIMPSE
There's a man. He's tall, and his eyes reflect all light, just like dad's does.. I can feel his hands against my fur as he scoops me up. He puts me in a soft, extremely small room. I can feel everything shift in here.. oh no, please not this again.. but I don't feel the burning this time, and instead of a chaotic, world-flipping tossing around, its more calm, more rhythmic, like being carried.
That's it. I'm being carried. I'm not in a room, I'm in a carrier. Last time i was in a carrier, I went to see the medical man. This must be him. He's going to help me, make me feel better, I'm safe. When i wake up, I'll be ok, just like last time. Tyra will hug me and hold me tight when she sees me, just like last time. Mom and dad will act indifferent, but they'll still smile when I stand up and show them how strong I am. I'll be ok, and then I'll see my family again..
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Day The World Ends (Part 2)Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,099 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
This is part of the series, "Cats of the Colony", during the beginning of the apocalypse. you can see all books for the series in my "Cats of the Colony" folder, including Trials of the Pride, and The Day the World Ends pt. 2(when it's finished)!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Otto is just a normal house cat living his life, until everything suddenly changes overnight and then, he’s being carried away by a carrier and very, very sick.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I love the way you describe Otto’s thinking. I read about him before in “Trials of the Pride” and seeing him right now breaks my heart. He very clearly loves the humans, especially Tyra and he just wants to be with her. When he was coughing up blood, that made me feel so sad for him. :< He’s hurt.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a very suspenseful and sad first chapter! I’ll be sure to read more chapters that you have posted and even though I already know Otto’s fate, it still hurts to see how confused and scared he is. I enjoyed reading this and…
I wish you a beautiful day/night! ^v^
thanks for reviewing!
Yw!!!
Let me begin with the fact that the craftsmanship is solid. The voice of the narrator, which happens to be a cat, is consistent, charming, occasionally quite funny, and a refresh from traditional human narrators. The detail about stomping back to bed in a fit of feline pique is delightful, for example. The apocalypse as experienced through a house pet is inherently fertile narrative ground, so it's unique from first view.
What stands out most is that the story seems deeply committed to mood, to tragedy, to making the reader feel something Very Big, Very Suddenly... Everyone is tense. Alarms blare. Heat and burning and collapsing ensue. But none of it is contextualized. It is, essentially, that things happen because they happen, and the reader is expected to accept the emotional impact of cat-suffering without understanding the context of the world. The average reader is, assumedly, not a cat. They will not know the innerworkings of cathood.
The fridge scene, for instance, drags on just long enough for a reader to become confused rather than horrified. Cats do get stuck in things. Fridges do close. But the apocalyptic firestorm outside escalates faster than the story can justify it... We leap from "Oh fun, cheese!" to a nuclear holocaust in the span of a sneeze. The wasteland imagery is effective, if familiar, but it is left to be wondered: What happened? Why is everything gone except the locked room? Why was the family preparing for this? Why was Otto excluded? Why does Tyra cry for him even as the adults refuse to open the door?
There is talent here, and imagery, and a cat who deserves better than being shut in a fridge during Armageddon. The only thing lacking is the eagerly awaited answer to why this story is being told. Possibly, this lies in the proceeding chapters; as of where it stands now, time will tell.
Hi, thanks for reviewing! I will say, some things that you've asked that will go unexplained (because the cat wouldn't know) are that the apocalypse happened because of nuclear fallout, and the fridge scene was during the bombs dropping. The family was prepared for it because of the intense war situation between their country and the one who bombed them, and tyra cries for Otto because she is a child, and doesn't understand, like her parents do, that the outside is radioactive. Before the bombs dropped, the parents just figured they hadn't much time to grab him, and kinda of forgot about him. All other things will be answered in the coming chapters. Again, thanks for reviewing!
Oh, as well as that the locked room is a nuclear fallout shelter
Ah, that all makes sense. I will be sure to read on. : )
Looki here. I have come for one of your stories after all. Thank the contest =D
First thing first: paragraphing. That would really, really help with readability!
Even in the first paragraph, it feels like you could have been more liberal with the enter key: each new speaker should get their own paragraph. Trust me, that makes it way more likely that everyone gets who says which line 😊
That said, this reminds me so much of my cats, so good job~
Also another grammar tip: If you can substitute “Mom” and “Dad” with a name, then you must capitalize the word. They’re only not capitalized when you put “her” or “his” in front of them 😊
Aww poor kitty. Doesn’t know what’s coming but hey, Indiana Jones told us that a fridge is basically as good as a bunker!
Oh man, now I really feel for this poor kitten, trapped outside in what I assume is a nuclear wasteland. qq My heart!! “I cant scratch anymore, I cant cry.“
I find it interesting that this cat trusts the medical men. Because ours just scream bloody murder when we take them there bc they don’t get that this helps them.
Alright, so overall:
I find the intro a bit too long. I didn’t really get a good grasp on the humans the cat cares so much about.
I really like the descriptions when the cat’s inside the fridge and outside, things are just heartbreaking.
I feel like you could have run this through a spellchecker before posting. Some “I”’s are not capitalized and even in one my quoted things you have “cant” inside of “can’t” etc.
Ty for reviewing!