Hai there! Deeproses here to drop a review for you. warning: I haven't reviewed in forever so forgive me if it is bad aha
First off, I will discuss the things I like about this poem. I think the length of it is nice, and the imagery is very clear and recognizable. I can see how the narrator feels in this poem, and I can see how the narrator will "target" their opponent. Sprinkling in the title of the poem within the poem itself is also a nice touch.
Now for the critiquing!
I believe that if you are emphasizing the word "Unrecognizable", perhaps making it italicized will help the reader know that that specific word means something.
Also putting the words "Lustfully" and "Sharply" italicized would help emphasizing the meanings. Though, this can all just be style choice.
I think this poem is very repetitive, especially with the beginnings of the actions the narrator is planning to do.
for example:
I will massacre you.
I will adoringly carve your
and
I will hang you.
I will dangle your
stating the action lines with "I will" can get very boring and unoriginal sounding. Perhaps try a new beginning or not one at all?
Next, the format is extremely choppy. When the lines cut off, it ruins the flow of the poem. some lines would sound great together, but when reading the poem it is hard to enjoy it because it feels choppy and unorganized.
I think that pretty much wraps up the critiquing part of this review as well!
Overall, great poem! I think the words you used clearly described the feelings and emotions trying to be displayed. I think the format could have been improved but besides that, i really like the poem.
Good job! If you have any questions with my review, i would be happy to answer! Keep Writing
Points: 0
Reviews: 44
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