Wonderings

Let me just say this is beautiful, but don't take my review personal just trying to help.

I don't think the second sentence needs For, it would be better without it. "Why can't love be

but a beautiful thing? It sounds better. A in agonizing shouldn't be capitalized.

Where you say But it hurts.... it hurts so very badly I think It hurts badly would do it, just

eliminate very. This is really good, it's very emotional, I can tell that person is hurting.

It would've been better, if the poem wasn't in a single paragraph. It needs more space,

there are unnecessary words, commas and periods there. Line by line would be good.

The last sentence I like it, you're wondering, you're telling but you tell us why you're wondering

why you feel the way you do. The title is the bomb, it's simple but matches with the poem.

Editing this poem would be great. Nice poems, lots of beautiful words. Keep it up.

Mitkay was just here to review.

Hi!

This was a very great creative writing. I wouldn't call it a poem, because the only thing that seems to be in the form of a poem is the first two lines. But, never the less, this was a very interesting view on love. On the darker side that never seems to be explored in mainstream literature. All I've ever read about is how amazing and beautiful love is. But in this you explore the broken and agonizing aspects of love. How crazy and insane one can become when one believes themself to be in love. I love the allusion to Romeo and Juliet, which also explores how love can lead to horrible tragedy and sadness.

I also feel as though, just like in Romeo and Juliet, this is love as youth sees it. Even though it is the broken side of love, it is still passionate in its description of this horrific love that mostly teenagers and other younger people feel. When you are young heartbreak seems to be killing you slowly and painfully until you can't stand it anymore. Love is so new and interesting to young people so if you have that new and amazing thing but it is ripped away from you, you feel like it has completely ripped your heart out.

The only thing I must complain about is the couple of grammar mistakes in the story. As well as the strange, at least to me, classification of this story as a poem. But I am not the author, you are, and what a gift you have bestowed. I look forward to reading more of your work. Please never hesitate to post it!

Hi!

This was a very great creative writing. I wouldn't call it a poem, because the only thing that seems to be in the form of a poem is the first two lines. But, never the less, this was a very interesting view on love. On the darker side that never seems to be explored in mainstream literature. All I've ever read about is how amazing and beautiful love is. But in this you explore the broken and agonizing aspects of love. How crazy and insane one can become when one believes themself to be in love. I love the allusion to Romeo and Juliet, which also explores how love can lead to horrible tragedy and sadness.

I also feel as though, just like in Romeo and Juliet, this is love as youth sees it. Even though it is the broken side of love, it is still passionate in its description of this horrific love that mostly teenagers and other younger people feel. When you are young heartbreak seems to be killing you slowly and painfully until you can't stand it anymore. Love is so new and interesting to young people so if you have that new and amazing thing but it is ripped away from you, you feel like it has completely ripped your heart out.

The only thing I must complain about is the couple of grammar mistakes in the story. As well as the strange, at least to me, classification of this story as a poem. But I am not the author, you are, and what a gift you have bestowed. I look forward to reading more of your work. Please never hesitate to post it!

Wow. I don't even- that was literally the best poem I had ever read. Because see, it was one that I could actually understand, yet it was perfectly descriptive. I myself have always believed in love, so reading this from a whole other perspective was interesting. My favorite rhyme was probably:

"Why. Why, does it hurt so bad to love when you've never been in love? Is it the idea of love you get in your head that takes over for when you finally realize you have no one to share your love that destroys you?"

It pulled at my heartstrings. While I read this poem, I no longer believed in true love, it was all purely an illusion. Then I finished the poem and was snapped out of my reverie. This was truly beautiful.