Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
TW: blood, drowning, religion depicted negatively
everybody here loves him
they throw parties and host activities
every wednesday and sunday
great smiles adorn their faces
“you’re such a lying hypocrite!”
“leave them alone, stop hating!”
“if she came back, she’d be happier”
that’s what they say to me
but they just simply don’t understand it
the way he hurt me more than any human
i want to scream at their faces every time
he abandoned me when i needed him most
the fruits were filled with deception and lies
his words and his people haunt me daily
his influence is everywhere, unstoppable
why can’t it all just disappear forever?
i dreamed about it once, back when i believed
the thought terrified me, but now he does
he was the biggest betrayal in my life
so pardon me, my family and peers
when i flinch at any mention of him
when my hands clench and eyes harden
because unfortunately, i am not strong
i am weak and passionate and angry
i will never forgive him for what he did
no matter how hard my mother tries
tries to get me to return to that gray place
the place that closes in on me
the water suffocated me in the white building
maybe that was the day my faith died
crushed, like the petals of a flower
my hope and light died with that memory
judgement clouds the house each sunday
i’m not the girl my parents want me to be
but i can’t keep eating the sacrament bread
i have to be myself, even if that’s not “right”
maybe one day i’ll heal from all this
but for now, for now i’m hurting
stabbed straight through the flesh
deep red blood pooling on the floor
tears in the bathroom on wednesday night
hatred and fear for the soul he gave me
i hope i will move on from him
but his ghost follows me everywhere
his people stare at me disapprovingly
and when they do, i wonder if i ever will
maybe his ghost will follow until i die
but at least then i’ll be free from him
because i am not going to the pearly skies
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Hi kagehana! It’s been a while and so I thought I would check out your poem :3
Hui and it does have some heavy TWs xd
So I got primed by the religion warning so I kinda wondered if this would be abt the narrator and their relationship with god? Especially here: “the fruits were filled with deception and lies“ that’s a really cool line, no matter why you used it but it does have a somewhat religious ring to me!
I am not religious and sometimes, the way religion is impacting believes does scare me. So I feel especially seen with this poem, even if nothing traumatic happened to me.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you have a good day :3
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I really liked the imagery in this piece, it has this anger that resonates, like bubbling water. It also has this narrative aspect that really draws me in as a reader as I am trying to puzzle out and decipher what exactly is going on, why the speaker is feeling this way, what does it mean?
Initially I thought this was about an abusive boyfriend or something along those lines, but then I noticed it you marked it as spiritual, and boy doesn't that add a whole other layer of nuance to everything. Makes it so much rawer, so much realer, so much harder to bear.
Great job, I enjoyed reading it.
Hey!
Though I don’t usually review poetry, the intriguing title caught my attention.
The flow of this piece, in my view, embodies the classic tortured soul archetype. While that might be seen as a cliché, it’s effectively woven into the narration, adding an air of mystery and mystique around the main character and their current struggle.
It’s a story within poetry stanzas, and I think it has promise to become its own identity as a story. Perhaps, a thriller/horror type?
Thank you for sharing!