When youre around
Ive finally found
Someone who cares
But you left scars
On my heart so dear
Now im in fear
You, ill never get over
I know its not that good, so please please help.
But if you think it good then comment that if you want.
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Hey!
First I would like to point out you need punctuation. Its hard to understand with out it. I also think you should get rid "you're" and actually right you are. It would read better.
When you're around
Ive finally foundThis line seems thrown in to make a rhyme.
Someone who cares
But you left scars It doesn't make sense because you wrote " when you're around" Maybe try "when you were around"?
On my heart so dear So dear sounds like it should be" So dear, now I'm left in fear." Although that doesn't make sense... Why are you afraid?
Now im in fear
You, ill never get over"I will."
This poem needs a lot of work. I feel robbed like you didn't spend enough time on a potentially good poem. It doesn't make sense to be quite honest. It may be the verb tenses that you used, but some thing need to change. Work on it!
ummm ok
this doesnt make any sense.