Deceit

by jujubean05

Published May 4, 2012

In Poems!!! :)

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Lies on top of motive Cons are native Plots within flattery Molds like pottery Grips the heart Kills with a dart Deceives with love Breaks that from above
Comments & reviews · 1
silentpatronus wrote a review Review · Feb 24, 2013

Howdy I'm going to review this for you.

:)

Okay, on first glance, I don't know if this is intended but the layout just looks like it is one sentence. I suggest putting it into something like this:

Destiny
Lies on top of motive
Cons are native
Plots within flattery
Molds like pottery
Grips the heart
Kills with a dart
Deceives with love
Breaks that from above


I think this is exceedingly good. The only thing I'd say is the first set of rhyme just seems a bit forced and doesn't fit with the rest of the poem. I suggest you re-think that.

Other thank that, this is very clever.



You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein