Moon beams on misty
roads. Blossoms glow beneath the
light. The silence sings.
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140,620 Literary Works • 673,561 Reviews
Hi vampire! How are you? :3 I'm here to review your haiku here!
Before I begin, I would like to say that lines formatting looked forced. It was as if one line wouldn't fit, then you put it onto the next, and then the last line is horribly forced. I mean, what does "silence" have to do about moon beams?
I don't necessarily see what you mean by this. Again, forced. The haiku feels so forced that it's almost random. Kind of like mushing together lines that you feel like putting on just because its supposedly "great".
Huh?
Anyway, this needs some support. Some of it is really just off. The title is completely unrelated, so maybe that is why. I heard somewhere that haikus aren't supposed to have titles. Now I see some reason in that.
Even so, keep writing!
~Kitty
Aw thank you
Usually, I hate
Haikus. However, yours is
full of pulchritude.
I do really love the visual imagery in this one. It's so gentle, but for something in such a small space, it manages to give me goosebumps.
Well done.
It is so beautifully crafted, really captured the essence, I really enjoyed reading this (: