Published August 7, 2026
Death
Today I don’t know what I’m going to say.
When my grandfather died, I didn’t believe it.
He raised me since I was a child,
because my parents divorced before I was born.
And now seeing him go from my hands…
It was the worst day for me.
Seeing the tears of all my family,
saying goodbye to my favorite person he could be.
A lot of people came to our home with sympathy,
when life became black for me.
But I have to stand up, with tears in my eyes,
to fulfill his wish that was to success in my life.
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137,893 Literary Works • 672,070 Reviews
hi happy Friday from team tortoise and knights of the geeen room!
This is an interesting start but it feels like it shouldn't resolve by the end of the poem with the MC speaking or staying silent.
Alternatively, if its just meant to convey being speechless, Id change "going to say" to supposed to say.
This sentence kind of makes it seem like the MCs mother was completely absent, which could be true, but if not it would be interesting to see how that affected things as much as having the grandpa did.
This is interesting. It makes me ponder how much responsibility the MC feels as a caretaker, and by that token *why* they feel that way.
He could be? This reads really awkwardly to me. Im not really sure what is trying to be conveyed.
I think you mean succeed, not success.
I think there's some good barebones to this poem, but id like to see more setups paid off and brought full circle. I think expanding the poem would do it better service. Give us more time to sit with the topic and moroseness of it all The guilt and pain and determination. As is, it's all brought up and moved on from very fast.
~Messy
Thank you for reading and for the review ❤️
I wrote this on one of the hardest nights I’ve had. I wasn’t focused on perfect words — I just needed to write what was in my heart.
About my mom — she was present and she loves me so much. She always wanted me to have a perfect life, even better than the one she had. But it was my grandfather and grandmother who raised me, and they gave me the best life with so much love. That’s why they’re in the poem.
Thank you again for taking the time to read it.
P.s. I definitely wasn’t thinking about grammar that night lol I just needed to get it out