You could never see past
The ripping, tearing, destroying pain you felt
Your own pain
Covered all
No one else mattered
Nothing else mattered
You had to suffer, why not them?
You had to endure the countless
Lonely nights of fear and solitude
So why not them?
Why not them?
And still you suffer
And walk alone, blinded by the ache inside
You can’t see
How you’ve hurt them.
You sneered when his true self lay revealed.
You raged when he brought you his only love.
You ignored the hurt inside her as she stumbled
Ignored and laughed at through this unforgiving world.
And most of all
You tore
One you loved to pieces
And forgot
That just as harshly as you shred
Another hand
Could put the pieces back together.
I'm not really looking for serious crits here. Just in a Fruits Basket rut, thinking about the show and the manga, and, obviously, Akito. If you know the seiries, let me know what you think. If you don't, I doubt it'll make much sense.
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140,581 Literary Works • 673,533 Reviews
Oooh... good poem. Kudos for you!
Yeah, I really don't know a lot of poetry, but I can totally see the references to all the different situations, etc. that Akito went through. To be entirely honest, I feel bad for him in spite of his evilness, and if more people read this poem, I'm sure they would too. Hehe... I'm starting to make that my trademark: "if more people read this..." Oh well... nice job!
Nice and depressing. ^_^ I love Fruits Basket. Haven't watched it in a long time but it's really good.
Nice job.
[quote="gyrfalcon"]And forgot
That just as harshly as you shred
Another hand
Could put the pieces back together.
quote]
I like that, a lot. You said you didn't care about serious crits, so I won't attempt it, but I really really really like your ending here. Yes. That's about it.