Sorry guys, this one has to go.
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This was nice. It could use a little work as far as vocabulary is concerned though. But otherwise as a really sweet love poem it works. I'm not sure about lyric poetry per say because its not really music-like though it may flow a little like it. I loved it though, the last line was brilliant and in the end made me want more of the poem, knowing of course that I wouldn't get anymore, it's still always a good thing to make your readers reread your poems to get that tastiness back around their tongue. And that's what you did. After reading it once I read it again and again, and everytime it never lost its charm. You definitely know how to write your endings so work a little more on composure to make it more lyric-like.
Great Job, Keep at it!
-Rieda
I liked it! I'm going to e-mail it to my boyfriend for Valentines Day, with your permission.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
Okay, your poem didn't quite measure up to Sonnet 43. The idea here is cliche and overdone; the poem wasn't completely mangled, it's just that it's difficult to do when all you're trying to say is, "I love you but I don't know how to say it."
You don't have to capitalize the first line of each stanza. It's choppy when you're doing it in the middle of a sentence.
I wonder if you understand how much strength
You give me with [s]a gesture as simple as[/s] a hug.
That I would follow you to Hell and back
If you were there with me?
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