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Hotel Dupont No. 2

by gruzinkerbell


The air suddenly felt heavy when Arwen finally gained the courage to take a breath. Any blood that Dupont had lost was invisible on the crimson carpet he had chosen for the ballroom, but it stained Deryn’s shirt like someone had badly attempted to tie-dye it. It stuck to his skin, but he managed not to flinch. He stood still as he held the gun in hand and waited for Arwen’s answer.

She gave him a flat face. At any moment, some of the assassins on the third floor would run down the stairwell and track down any smell of blood until they found Deryn and could take him away for whatever dangerous ideas they had in mind. Arwen found it best not to tell him.

Arwen ran a few feet ahead where Dupont’s body lay cold and lifeless and studied his rings. Each one of them was luxurious in its own way, whether engraved or encrusted with jewels. All she was hoping to find was one that fit her finger. She grabbed a silver ring with a tiny diamond off his pinky finger and slipped it onto her ring finger.

“Speak, Arwen, or I’ll shoot.”

Arwen scoffed. “I’d like to see you try.”

The doors busted open.

A few men in an assortment of clean-cut suits entered the room and found Arwen lazily sitting where Dupont’s coffee had been with a scowl on her face. If there were any time to hide her horror at murder, it would have to be now.

“Ms. Hughes,” a man said, his eyes quickly darting to Daryn. He grabbed Arwen’s brother on the shoulder with a deadly grip and watched him cripple to the floor. His gun fell out of his hand. “Tell us what happened immediately.”

“For one,” Arwen said, “It’s Mrs. Dupont now.” She held up her finger with the ring on it. The man didn’t look surprised. “For two, handle the murderer gently. He’s my brother, and in a few minutes we both have a lot of explaining to you.”

The man looked down at Daryn. His blue eyes were more curious than angry, and he studied Daryn as if he were a stray dog he had found in the park.

“This dirt bag is your brother?”

“It’s quite unfortunate, isn’t it?” she smiled. “Just have someone take him up to the fifteenth floor, and find me Charles before I attend this meeting; I’m suspecting I’ll have a few more later.”

“Mr. Romano was supposed to have a meeting with Dupont in two hours. What are you going to tell him?”

Arwen tapped her chin. She hadn’t completely thought this lie through. Most of the top assassins were next in line for the inheritance of Dupont’s company, as they had worked with him the longest and were in most of his meetings, but Arwen wasn’t near as informed as them on her boss’s day-to-day work. He preferred to keep her in the dark. She only showed up in the moments after scenes or an emergency.

“I’m going to tell him that if he doesn’t understand my backing out of the deal that I have twelve deadly men waiting to do what they want with him.”

The man nodded. He forced Daryn to stand up and shoved him into a semicircle of men who all had knives sticking out of their pockets and an eternal scowl dressing their faces. They closed around Daryn and forced him out of the room.

“You better explain this all to me, Arwen,” he yelled over one man’s shoulder. Arwen’s mouth quirked.

“I was planning on it.”

One man came rushing down the stairs and nearly bumped into the group of men as they headed up the stairs in a cluster. This man had curly blond hair and tan skin that Arwen wasn’t completely sure how he got if most of his hours at work were at night. His suit was completely white as well, and his shoes were made of sleek leather that were completely impractical. Dupont expected high-ranking assassins to wear lighter clothes. They weren’t supposed to make messes when completing a job. He skidded to a halt in front of Arwen and dipped his head deeply.

“Ms. Hughes,” he addressed her. He looked at her for a moment before standing tall again. “You called?”

“It’s Mrs. Dupont now,” she corrected him. “But it seems I’ve been widowed.” She nodded behind him.

Charles turned around to finally take in his surroundings. His eyes glued to Mr. Dupont, who somehow managed to look even paler than before. The man dropped to his knees and studied Dupont, fiddling with his clothes. He undid his shirt and looked at the place the gun had punctured.

“Revolver,” he muttered, eyeing Dupont before looking up at Arwen. “Seems like an old one too. It left debris all over his skin.”

“We already caught and contained the killer,” Arwen explained. “All I summoned you here for was to be a bit of a threat to him.”

Charles snorted. “Who would be stupid enough not to be afraid of you?”

“My brother.”

Charles went silent. He stood up and dusted off his clothes before giving Arwen a soft frown of sympathy. The assassin, though one of the longest members of Dupont’s assassins military, had always been able to keep sympathy. Most of the time with those men it was beaten out of their hearts until they no longer saw people as people but rather objects with a bullseye. But Charles had managed to keep a bit of sympathy, at least for those he deemed worthy of his respect.

“Don’t be so worried,” Arwen chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “He hasn’t tried anything with me. His killing of Dupont was more of an impulsive decision.” That was what she hoped; it was what she forced herself to believe.

The assassin cocked his head and looked at Arwen a bit suspiciously.

“You don’t exactly seem sad about your husband being gone. Did you force your brother to be involved in this?”

Arwen just looked at him for a moment and sighed. She started walking to the elevator that sat beside the cold, concrete stairwell. Charles followed.

“It’s a bit hard to feel sad for someone who’s forced you to hide your emotions. Maybe sadness is just something I’ve lost. For good.”

Charles grunted and said nothing. He stepped onto the elevator and held his hand in front of the door until Arwen walked in.

“Well,” he finally spoke, “what do you plan on doing with everything until you’ve sorted all of this out?”

The thought hadn’t struck Arwen’s mind. Once the bullet flew through the air, she felt like she didn’t have a moment to think. Everything had been instinctual. As Dupont’s assistant and an undercover officer, she had learned many times how quickly she had to come up with a lie. At the time, being Mrs. Dupont seemed like a reasonable lie. It was only now that she questioned her decisions. What was she, Dupont’s Assistant, supposed to do with billions of dollars and an army of murderers all under her fake name? And worse, how would she keep that name?

She tried not to shiver when she looked up at Charles.

“I don’t want to stop continuing your paychecks,” she started, “but I don’t know who was on Dupont’s list. Not all of them, at least.” She folded her arms and thought for a moment. An idea suddenly hit her.

“Until I get everything settled, we’re opening up the hotel. Just so that you and the guys make enough money.”

Charles’ eyes seemed to pop out of his head. He shook his head, a small chuckle escaping from him until he pulled himself together and looked Arwen in the eyes.

“You do realize all of the assassins have been trained since we were hired to not be hospitable?”

“You’ve been trained pretty badly then,” Arwen smiled. “I find you quite hospitable.”

The elevator dinged. They stepped out into the hall.

“I’m hospitable with you because you’re my boss,” Charles said. “I would probably be very mean if you weren’t.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

They walked through the elegant hallway, stepping delicately on the wooden floor as they came up with mindless chatter about what they planned to east for lunch or what current assassins were slacking. Charles made sure to stay on the left of Arwen, as she was afraid to admit her deathly fear of heights. She knew that Charles had his suspicions but refused to ever confirm.

Charles held open the door for her as she stepped into a corner office. The two back walls were made completely out of glass, letting Arwen see all the way down to the ground from fifteen stories in the air, and the only furniture was three white chairs and a matching desk. Arwen sat down in the chair behind the desk as Charles leaned against the glass wall.

“You’re going to kill yourself one day doing that,” Arwen sighed.

“No, you’re going to kill me one day if I keep doing this.” Charles just smiled and kept leaning against the wall.

A man held open the door, shoved Deryn in with his foot, and slammed the door shut. Deryn’s mouth was filled with a gag as he shuffled over to his chair, and his hands were tied behind his back. His shirt had also magically gotten torn.

“Untie the gag, Charles,” Arwen commanded. Charles stood up from the wall and ripped the gag off with one clean pull, Deryn dramatically choking as he coughed out some fabric. Arwen rolled her eyes.

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” Deryn growled, scooting the seat up with a screech. “How about you start off with the strange muscle men hauling me into a cellar and nearly freezing me to death?”

She asks the questions here,” Charles hissed. He sauntered over to the seat beside Deryn and sat down, placing a fist in front of him. Arwen sighed and leaned back in her chair.

“How about we start with how you found me?” she retorted. “I find it very suspicious how you managed to follow me all the way here.”

“Please, it’s ten minutes away from your place. It’s not that hard.”

“Fine. How about Mr. Dupont and the deal? Isn’t that what you wanted to know this entire time?”

Deryn stared at her for a moment before giving in and nodding. “I guess.”

“Good. Because that is all I’m going to explain to you.”

She was actually only going to explain part of it. But she wouldn’t tell him that.

“I’ve been saving up my money for a while, and you keep asking me for what. Well, I was saving it to become an upper associate. With Dupont.”

Deryn’s face contorted into the most hideous thing possible as he nearly got up from his seat and heat radiated off his body. Charles placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down before placing two hands on his neck.

“Say the word, Dupont.”

Arwen quivered when she heard Charles call her that. No one had ever referred to Dupont by his first name, so it was expected they would do the same for her. But it still sent chills down her spine. She never wanted to be anything like that man.

“That won’t be necessary,” Arwen said, waving Charles’ motion away. He placed his hands on his lap as he glared at Deryn.

“You…” Deryn said slowly, “We were going to partner…With a Mafia Man?”

“Not the Mafia, actually,” Deryn corrected. “Dupont is French, not Italian.”

“Which is beside the point,” Arwen continued. “Dupont made a lot of good offers for me that would have helped both of us; a lot more money and a lot more power. You could finally pay off those debts, Deryn.”

“And you could get a lifetime in prison for doing something so stupid.”

“Relax, I never actually killed anyone. I just recorded deals and loans Dupont planned on making, scheduled his meetings, etcetera.”

“You forgot to mention the part about how you became a double agent for him so he would slip under the police’s noses.” He frowned at her with less anger and more disappointment. “Plus, how many times have you lied under oath for this?”

“About ten.”

“Only ten?” Charles chuckled. “Usually the secretaries have a lot more lying to do than that.”

“Not a secretary,” Arwen glared. “Assistant.”

“I don’t care what job you have, Soph- Arwen.” Deryn took a breath and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. “You’re not doing this job.”

“Last time I checked, Deryn, I was an adult and the leader of this organization. You don’t have the power to just tell me ‘no’.”

Well, last time I checked, Dupont pulled a gun on you, and all of a sudden my little sister just became the leader of an army of killers.”

Charles whipped his head around with a dropped jaw and widened eyes.

“Dupont? Threatened you? But I thought-”

“The man has no affection, Charles,” Arwen sighed. “It wasn’t surprising he tried to kill me.”

“I’m not surprised he hasn’t tried to kill you.” Deryn jabbed his thumb in the direction of Charles. The assassin wrapped his hand around Deryn’s and held tighter and tighter until Deryn’s knuckles began to pop.

“Watch it,” he growled. He let go of Deryn’s now pale hand. Arwen just chuckled and shook her head as Deryn slowly moved his fingers back and forth in shock.

“Now that you know everything you need to, along with your threats to the new leader of Hotel Dupont, you will be put on our prisoner’s floor until you calm down.”

“Or until I make you calm down,” Charles growled.

“That threat could use a little work.” Arwen patted his shoulder sympathetically.

“Really? I thought it sounded pretty good.” He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair.

“You can’t just imprison me here, Arwen!” Deryn roared. “I have rent to pay, a job to work at…”

“Our team will make sure everything is paid for and that your boss gives you appropriate sick days.”

“Actually?” Charles asked. “I thought we were just gonna get rid of his boss.”

“Let’s try an alternate approach,” Arwen sighed, “until we get a new double agent.” She turned back to Deryn. “We’ll make sure you’re not bored to death. I’m sure Charles can find a good job for you.”

“I’m not working for some twisted criminal mastermind like you.”

“Which reminds me,” Arwen spoke, ignoring Deryn’s complaining, “that we’ll need someone to watch you. How about you, Charles?”

Charles’ eyes widened. “Me? I’m supposed to live with this bonehead?”

“He’ll only be staying in your room for a week or two until I figure out what to do with him. Besides, you can make him do whatever job you want. Just nothing bloody; I’ve had enough of that for a while.”

The assassin and Deryn stared at each other in shock. It was surprising how much they looked alike.

“Go get one of the men out of the hallway to take Deryn down to your room,” Arwen ordered Charles. “In the meantime, you’ll help me address the rest of the assassins.”

“What’d ya plan on telling them?”

“The adjustments to their sleeping arrangements,” Arwen explained. “This isn’t just a crime center anymore; it’s a hotel.”

So it's probably not going to be a short story anymore because I couldn't help myself. Hope you like it!


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18 Reviews

Points: 2988
Reviews: 18

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Wed Aug 07, 2024 12:08 am
Stickles wrote a review...



Hello there my name is Stickles of the ST Brand Story/Book/Poem Review company or better unknown as STBPR. Today i am here to review (Serrurie) your story titled (Hotel DUpont #2).

To start lets discuss your writing technique. You did alot better with the sentence spacing, giving the reader more ample time to breath was nice. For such a dark situation of hotel dupont #1 its suprised me that #2 wasnt nearly as dark and depressing of a area, keep a tone is all.

Next we need to review the story as a whole. This seems mean to say but this is giving piolet to a tv show vibes which may have been your intention shown by the ending text of (hope you like it) but a short story should be a start and end not a to be continued.

Almost done cause next we have to look into the dreadfully boring grammar and spelling (not that I know how to spel).You did fine here. No points deducted.

Finally I wanna talk from the heart and tell you what I as a reader think is great and what needs to be worked on. This final part is more my opinion than actually anything so dont worry your pretty smart head. The energy from dupont #1 and #2 have shifted drastically which saddened me because remembering #1 i hoped to get that same feel of darkness.

Your final score is /20
Writing 3/5
Story 2/5
Spell/Grammer 5/5
Personal 2/5
Grand total 12/20

Oh and a great bonus with being Reviewed by STBPR you get a audio book of your story free. It will be posted on (08/22/2024) via this link located here.
https://youtu.be/kpjfs_uPy64
Have fun writing. -Stickles




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29 Reviews

Points: 1489
Reviews: 29

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Mon Jul 22, 2024 9:28 pm
Inferno wrote a review...



Hello, my fellow writing friend!

Let's get into this piece of work!




A Little Skimming - First Impressions
This was a very well written story! Oooh, so Arwen is undercover, posing as Mrs. Dupont. Her "husband" was a crime lord, I think, running a whole center of assassins. This is so epic already. Then, Mr. Dupont is murdered... by her brother.
Now Arwen has a whole criminal army at her disposal... this is going to be interesting... This character Charles is introduced, and the majority of this writing is their conversation. They seem to have an interesting and rather amusing relationship. I came to kind of like this character, though I have a sneaking suspicion somethings going to happen dramatically between those two... Now Arwen is making this criminal industry into a hotel. So intriguing.





Love it! - Parts That I Like
There's so many likeable things about this piece!

First off, I love seeing you use this writing style, because I've only read your poems. You are very talented at pacing your work, so the timing doesn't seem jumbled or thrown together.

I also like how calm you describe Arwen to be when Mr. Dupont is murdered. There are so many questions just at the opening of the chapter. Who is Arwen? Why isn't she all sad that her "husband" died? Why is her brother threatening to kill her? Woah, where did those assassins come from? I love it when writers make you ask questions, it gives it a mysterious feel, and implores me to read on!

“You’re going to kill yourself one day doing that,” Arwen sighed.

“No, you’re going to kill me one day if I keep doing this.” Charles just smiled and kept leaning against the wall.

I love the tidbits of humor you used here to spice the story up a bit. It keeps it entertaining, and shows the growing relationship between Charles and Arwen here.


Just A Tad Off... - Errors and Corrections
Nothing really to correct! There's just some sporadic changing of Deryn's name once and a while. Sometimes it's Deryn, then it's Daryn. I was slightly confused by that.

Salutations! - Final Thoughts and Goodbyes
Thanks for requesting a review! This was a thrilling read! Keep writing!
:smt023




gruzinkerbell says...


Hey! Thanks for the review, you're so nice! I would recommend reading the first chapter of this, 'Hotel Dupont No. 2' for a bit more context :D



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1307 Reviews

Points: 193
Reviews: 1307

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Sun Jul 14, 2024 1:56 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the frightful S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Deryn kills Dupont, but that leaves Arwen as the crime leader. She holds Deryn as prisoner and decides to open up the Dupont hotel. But where will this all lead?

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There are parts where Deryn is spelled as “Daryn”, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - I love how Arwen says that she’s not going to be like Dupont, and yet she’s still the leader of criminals. Deryn found her, but just what did he get himself into? And Arwen, I have a feeling that even though she doesn’t want to do anything bloody, she’s somehow going to be even more of a threat than Dupont was…

Closing Graham Cracker - Arwen is going to open up the Dupont hotel to the public, Deryn is being held captive, and she’s now the leader of Dupont’s men. I’ve enjoyed reading this, and if you ever plan on continuing it, I will read on!

I wish you a beautiful day/night! ^v^




gruzinkerbell says...


Haha, Arwen really has no idea what she's in for. %uD83E%uDEE0




It’s not unorthodox, I thought it was beautiful.
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