HARRIET’S FAMOUSLY FABULOUS BISCUITS:
5 cups flour
2 tablespoons shortening
5 tablespoons salt
3 pinches malice
1 cup loathing
1 dusting of amorality
Ah, my friend! It seems you have an incurable thirst to rid yourself of someone. Needless to say, these biscuits will give them a spectacular way to go! I’ve used these countless times on a few friends of mine who seemed to be over everything. Delicious and deadly, these biscuits are easy to make for someone in need of a casual murder.
To start, you will need to source our ingredients. Malice is easily found in your own body; simply retrieve freshly pumped blood, straight from the heart. Why else, my friend, would you want to murder someone?
Next, you need to acquire loathing. A fresh corpse from a battlefield works perfectly. Source any part of the body.
Finally, you need amorality. This is best harvested from the laughter of a naughty child. Simply have the child laugh into a jar.
Shortening, salt, and flour are easily found in a household pantry.
Have fun, my friend. Revenge tastes very good!
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
This is an unusual story, but it's short and sweet and very well written. It's a cool choice to have the narrator address the reader directly, and the way to acquire the unusual ingredients is entertaining. The story/recipe is very enjoyable to read, and connects murder and horror to baking without being overly grotesque.
Great work.
Hello! Valkyria here to leave a short review for your work. Let's get to it:
This is short and sweet, and really cute. I love the misdirection of the ingredients. It starts out with normal stuff like flour and salt, but then it gets absurd, such as the pinches of malice and cup of loathing. I can totally imagine a witch making this recipe. Plus, the simplicity of the story makes this work. A list of ingredients in the style of a blog has everything the story needs. And the source of the ingredients (particularly the abstract ones) makes complete sense. Of course, your own blood has malice in it. It's so clever. There's so much personality in this! Well done!
Hhehehe this is really cool and clever! It reminds me a lot of Ms. Lovett from Sweeney Todd, like a metaphorical recipe for one of her cannibal meat pies lol
Haha XD! Now I think YWS should also have a devoted genre named 'Recipes'! Seriously, it's rather clever and funny that you wrote this thing in the form of a recipe.
At first I thought I'd have to look those word up in a dictionary, but I'm glad I just continued reading. It's funny, but I also wonder if it has a hidden message. Like, looking for the these unusual ingredients might actually make you realize the consequences of the sin you're about to perform.
Anyway, this is something brand new! Well done!