Alone, and surrounded by people.

I love this but I have one tiny idea that could make the ending better. Maybe, you could say somebody, instead of someone, it kind of rolls off the tongue better. It's up to you because you are the author. I really do think it's good, though.

sincerely,
M

Hi geekygirl1300, acm here for a review! I really liked this poem, and how it all connected together. The pattern of the verses and the rhythm made the flow together, which I thought enhanced the words very well. I just had a few suggestions:

I want to be perfectly independent,

But some of the time I'm dead inside.

But my vision is a blur of agony.

Hey! I'm here to review your chapter. I hope my review is helpful. I'm trying to improve my reviews so if you think I'm being too harsh or too nice please tell me!

I really liked this work. I found myself relating a lot to it, having depression and anxiety myself. If you ever want someone to just talk to I know you might not want to talk about what is wrong but we could always talk about something else like cats or our writing.

"They offer me a shoulder to collect tears,
But there's no use in crying to them."

I felt like these two lines sounded weird or sort of threw me off. The lines before these lines were simple in writing (which is not a bad thing) and had less words, maybe that's what threw me off. I don't really know a solution except reading it out loud and rewording it until you think it's perfect.

"I want to feel something, anything,"

I would have liked to see this written in a way like the fifth and sixth lines. The line break in between sadness and but was perfect. It created a halt in the poem that really showed the emotion. I love when poets use 'but' and 'and' in poetry. I know I got a review of someone telling me not to use 'but' and 'and' in my poetry because it wasn't "poetically right", of course I didn't listen to them. anyway sorry, that was off topic. I really liked the fifth and sixth line and I'd love to see this line written sort of like them. It would make the repetition of break/halt that was really good once even better!

"But my world lay in ruins."

I think this is supposed to be 'lies' because you are writing in present tense throughout the poem.

"They offer me pills,
But I can't give up yet. "

There is nothing wrong with these lines. I just wanted to say that I think these two lines spoke to me the most. People always tell me "Why don't you go on medication?" and that answer is that medication is my last resort, I don't want to feel anymore abnormal than I already feel. I don't want to be the sickling.

"But the darkness has me."

I would love to see some imagery here. For example, maybe talk about the darkness grasping you, clawing into your skin, forming never healing scars. Something to give your readers great visuals that will stay imprinted in their minds. I think imagery is the most important thing in poetry, it helps the emotion seep through and it helps the reader understand and become more interested in what the writer is writing about.

"They offer me peace,
But I find it in bad ways.
They offer me solitude,
But I need someone... "

These last four lines confused me for multiple reasons. The first reason is that they felt rushed, as if you really wanted to finish the poem. I have totally felt that way before but it's not good when that emotion of the writer seeps through. Also what are the bad ways? Do you mean drugs? Smoking? Self harm? I would really like to see you write more into that becuase it feels like a plot line you've forgotten in the story you created. The final thing that confused me was 'they offer me solitude'. I don't particularly know why I'm confused. It's a simple line but it feels weird. I don't think anyone has ever offered to leave me alone or anything like that. It's always like 'I'm here for you if you need me, just ask'. Also the last line for some reason seemed to mess up the flow a bit. Maybe because in the line before you used a good word ('solitude'), I'm not sure. That's just that feeling I got.

Sorry this was posted twice.

I don't know quite what to say, but this work is fantastic and I love the way you've written it!

Heyaa, geekygirl!!

This is Eros here to write a review for this wonderful work!!

First thing first. The title. The title should be catchy, attractive, and captivating. I am very happy to say that the title of your poem has fulfilled all the above crietrias. I really like this.

Then the next thing which comes, is the theme and the main idea of the work---here it is poem. The theme is very unique, and interesting. It is emotional and has a grieving, sad, or a touch of melancholy as we can say. This is a poem in which I can see both negetivities and positivities at the same time. This adds to the uniqueness of the poem. I like this. You want to be strong, and stand up boldly to face the problem. But you are actually not like that. This what is the jist of the poem. Though it is general, but it has a realistic touch or the realistic effect. I like this very much.

Then the next thing which matters is the choice of set of the words. It is really unique and suits the poem very well. I like this talent of yours.

The poem was deep and full of emotions. I like the way you have presented your thoughts.

So, I would end up this review by these few lines:

It was really AWESOME!
Great work!
Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such superb works like this one.
Have a great day/night!!