The Farm

She stood elbow deep in the garden and wiped the sweat from her brow. The garden which harvested nothing but seeds in the new season now gave the young girl an optimistic smile. She loved nothing more than getting her hands dirty in her mother’s sacred garden of herbs and veggies and as she planted the last of the seeds she watched her sister dance closer to her.

“Hey, are you wearing that tonight?” She yelled over the breeze.

Lily looked down at her plaid shirt she’d tied on her waist, and the ripped shorts from years of wear and tear, she saw nothing wrong with it. She never dressed any nicer than she thought appropriate. Lily looked to her mud covered boots and her anger simmered inside and her beautiful sister coming up to meet her didn’t help.

“I had planned on cooking and leaving the interview up to you.” She answered feeling grumpy.

Her sister groaned, “Why would I interview stable hands if I don’t like to work?”

Lily mumbled a sarcastic comeback and grabbed her tin bucket with the gardening supplies. Being the younger sister of the two, Lily was in no mood to talk with her sister who chose dancing over the farm work that they’d grown up doing.

Kimberly, Lily’s older sister, found her rhythm after their eldest sister died. Kimberly disappeared for months at a time during her dance competitions leaving Lily to care for the fifty acre farm. Now, Kimberly was visiting once again sending Lily over the edge of jealousy.

Along with Kimberly, Lily started dancing long before her sister. She was dancing as well as some of the pros and people took notice. One competition, Lily was doing one of most complicated flips for her age division and her partner dropped her shattering her ankle. After numerous surgeries and steel rods, Lily gave up on her dancing dreams.

After her sister died Lily’s family also found Lily was bitter, and changed. She had been the sunlight on a rainy day before but now Kimberly called her the rainy day hiding the sunlight. She was never the same after her sister fell down the hill after saving her from falling, she felt like her sister’s death was because of her.

Lily made her back to the farmhouse, “I don’t think I’ll keep their attention, Kimberly.”

“Not like that, you need some nice clothes.” Kimberly answered sarcastically.

Kimberly disappeared into the hallway while Lily started supper. She was only sixteen but running the house was her natural talent and seemed to be all she was meant to do. She skinned twenty potatoes in minutes and filled the copper pot with water. She started the bread and main course.

“Here put this on,” Kimberly said holding a tube top.

“You’re not flat like me, I’d never fill this out.” Lily argued but was already unbuttoning her shirt.

To Lily’s surprise the shirt fit perfectly and made her frail frame taller and stronger looking. She was feeling good until she glanced back at her sister who was in a tight little dress revealing her long legs and perfect fill out. Lily immediately wished she’d refused her sister’s clothing.

When supper was ready and the grandfather clock in the dining room rang five grand times just before the doorbell rang. Kimberly rushed to open the door before her little sister in the hopes that two stunning stable hands would be waiting. Kimberly loved when she was right.

They all sat down without even meeting Lily, which was no surprise to her since, Kimberly was giggling and flirting hard. Lily cleaned herself up and brought out the food. Although she’d regrouped the sweat dripped down her delicate face and her frazzled blue eyes looked around at her company.

“Sorry, I’m Lily Jacobs, the primary caretaker of the farm.” She said quickly, dismissing herself.

One of the boys, nearly identical to the other got up from his chair to follow Lily. He reached around her and took the mashed potatoes she’d finished. Lily stopped and watched him until he disappeared into the dining room. She was use to doing everything on her own, even with her mother living with her she was on her own.

Just as Lily thought about her mother she came from her bedroom and greeted the crowd. Her mom shut down after Alex, her daughter, died. Lily couldn’t blame her, her eldest daughter of three fell down a hill and slowly awaited to die, she only wished her mother would try sometimes.

“Oh, I didn’t know we had company.” She directed to Lily who was carrying more food to the table.

“Yes, we need more help around her, Mama.” Lily answered.

She nodded in agreement before heading back to her room. Lily had a tray in her arms that was big enough to feed an army but she followed her mother into the dark room. Her mother was already in bed again, waiting on Lily to come in with her food. She left her mother immediately after setting the tray on her bed.

“Oh, Lily, it’s about time you joined us.” Kimberly said but noticed her sister’s ill footing, “Look at you Lily you look exhausted, you’re limping.”

“No, I’m… I’m just busy.” She answered.

“It can wait, come sit, I don’t know all that much about the farm anyway.” Kimberly said ushering her sister to the table.

The two boys stood up but Lily waved them away. She wasn’t in the mood for pity but sitting helped her aching feet and she looked, really looked, at the people around the table. She didn’t see the usual glares from people who knew her, she saw fresh faces that didn’t understand her, and she liked it. Lily felt a new joy filling her with breath. She felt stronger just sitting there staring into eyes that were golder than the ring her mother had worn since her wedding.

He watched her, nodding to whoever was talking at the moment, but never making eye contact with anyone else. At first, Lily thought he was messing with her, trying to make her mad so she’d leave, but when she glanced at him with her signature eyebrow he grinned and looked away. She grinned inwardly and jumped to her feet once again.

“If you’ll excuse me. I suppose I’ll see you both tomorrow morning.” She said.

The other brother stood, “When would you like us?”

“Whenever you want, we’ll pay you as you work.” She said and walked back outside.

Lily finished out her day with the plucking of weeds in the flower beds. When the front door opened Lily was on her knees, bending over the garden, a sight the young man who had watched her so contently over dinner enjoyed. She blushed at the sight of him.

He waved to her but she gave him the cold shoulder. She just kept digging. SHe dug all of the weeds up before dark but that wasn’t the end of her day. She, then, did the dishes after cooking all day, mopped the floors of the dirt that had been dragged in, and even washed more clothes. It was one o'clock the next morning when Lily finally settled into her lumpy, squeaky bed. SHe tossed around for a mere minute before she fell into a restless sleep.

She dreamt of Alex running through the field with her. The joy in both their eyes made Lily’s heart ache as she watched ALex continue running. Her younger self froze, her happiness still gleamed in her eyes, but she was breathless. She collapsed on the grassy meadow and she watched the fluffy white clouds pass across the sky.

“Lily?” Her sister called.

“Alex, I’m over here!” She cheered, jumping up again.

She found Alex under the willow tree on the top of the cliff, “Can I dance for you, Alex?”

Alex nodded. Younger Lily took a deep breath and the world faded away. She felt her body move to the rhythm of the meadow. As the tree swayed, Lily swayed in a similar way, as the grass rested her movements slowed, when the wind stopped she opened her eyes to a horrendous sight. Lily began sliding down the cliff her mother warned her about. The cliff wasn’t the problem, it was falling on the sharp rocks that cause for concern and she was headed straight for them.

Out of nowhere Lily was pulled hard and landed on a ledge, safe from the jagged rocks but Alex went tumbling down. Faster than Lily could think her sister lay on a rock at the bottom. Blood trailed down, running in cracks like a river weaves around a bank.

Lily barrelled down the safe side of the hill, screaming for help. She froze when a memorable farmhand came running after her.

Now, Lily heard the familiar voice of Kimberly, frantic and scared. Lily opened her eyes to see Kimberly standing over her. Lily was breathless, really breathless as the fog her nightmare had left, began to fade. SHe was drenched in sweat, the wet sheets were gripped tightly in her hands and the shaking was so fierce, Kimberly feared her sister’s bones would split apart.

“Lily, calm down it was a nightmare.” She said reassuringly.

“It wasn’t a nightmare.” Lily argued.

Sympathy filled Kimberly’s green eyes, “I’ll start a bath and you can relax, then I’ll call Dr. Clark.”

Lily jumped at her therapist’s name. It’d been nearly a year since she’d last had an appointment and she had to admit things had gotten worse but she refused to go. She looked deep into her sister’s eyes, identical to Alex’s though filled with herself unlike Alex.

“I won’t go and I have to get busy anyway.” She said leaving her sister in her dark bedroom.

Lily started her day over, as she usually did. She started breakfast after a ten minute shower and then she delivered it to her mother. She ate if she had time but if not she went straight to work outside. Feeding animals took most of the morning as they had over sixty animals of different species. Lily then began to clean the stables, horses first and chickens last. Rabbits had to be fed food from the garden so she weeded the garden and gave it a morning drink. By the time she reached the garden the sun would have risen just above the trees.

The only difference in her daily routine was now Levi and Wesley Walsh would be joining her. They arrived a minute before eight, after they’d taken care of most of their farm, and asked for work. They were given the task of mowing, filling the loft with hay, and Wesley had to get the tractor to run once again. Only after it was done did they come inside for breakfast around eleven.

Kimberly was primped and dressed up when the boys walked in. She’d done her makeup and worn a more than casual dress but neither of them took much notice in her. They mainly drooled over the pancakes, sausage, bacon, home fries, and toast that was all laid out across the table.

“Help yourselves.” Lily said already slipping back into her boots.

She watched them take their places and slid out the backdoor to continue working. She had hay to cut by hand, bushes that were unruly, and a dog to bathe. She never saw her day ending. She knew she would have to work hard to finish by morning.

Kimberly popped in to say goodbye, she practiced dance each day for about four hours in town, leaving Lily without a car. Lily gave her a grocery list but Kimberly declined, leaving LIly with one more thing to do. Lily was gasping for air when she paused for a water break. The field was only half done and she was the only one working on it.

By eight that evening Levi and Wesley called it a night and Lily paid them. She’d made dinner but hadn’t eaten it with them. SHe stopped for a tomato sandwich at noon which was the only thing she’d eaten that day, but she worked and ate. Now she resided in the house. She washed the curtains and cleaned the windows.

A midnight, Lily was still working. Her foot hardly moved, so she limped through the house. Her arms felt as though they were about to fall off, and every muscle cried out in pain with each chore she did. Lily rested her head on her pillow at a quarter after two. In three hours she would start over.

Like the night before, Lily woke up from her sister’s death playing out in her mind but this time her twin sat beside her. His ocean blue eyes looked at her in horror. Instead of talking or pushing lily, like Kimberly had, he laid down beside her. Andrew was the only person who understood how hard Lily worked, he use to work just as hard before his own accident.

Andrew was a racer, of horses of course, and he was preparing just as he would any other race. He checked his horse from top to bottom, leaving no stone unturned, and saddled up. When the gates opened the unthinkable happened. His horse threw him off and stepped on his head. Paramedics raced to Andrew who was left unconscious.

Now he stuttered over his words, he forgot things easily and he even struggled with sentences sometimes. Id he got really bad, he became angry that everything happened to his family and he’d go on gigantic rages. Throwing things, crying out, cursing the Earth, and he was extremely violent.

Lily knew to stay away from him on those nights, she knew it would only make things worse if he woke up and she was injured. He was fragile but not stupid at all. He aced every test, completely books in record time, and worked as hard as he could without shorting out causing anger.

“Andy, why do I feel like I killed Alex?” Lily finally asked quietly. Andrew was the only one she really opened up to because he didn’t pity her more than himself.

He let out a loud sigh of exhaustion, he’d answered this question every time she’d had a nightmare. He didn’t see why she would even blame herself for such an undeniable accident. He talked to Dr. Clark after his accident and he’d gotten over it, he thought she did too, but she asked him more often now.

“Lily, it was an accident, Alex slipped and you saw it.” He finally said.

LIly sat up, “That’s just it, every time I dream about it, I fall and Alex catches me sending her flying down on the rocks.”

“That’s just your mind playing tricks on you, it happened to me before Dr.Clark.” He explained.

“I’m not going to therapy again.” She said and jumped up.

As usual she started her day over again. The same things that happened the day before, with some variation, and once again the Walsh brothers came. She gave them new tasks, things that she struggled with even if she didn’t admit it. Heavy lifting, driving machinery, heavy duty work that she couldn’t accomplish. Stubborn as a mule but she knew her limits.

Andrew worked that day. He worked more with the animals, as he usually did, washing, and working with them. He didn’t last long in the ninety degree weather and soon he had a headache that was crippling. Any heat made him sicker than a dog and Lily added that to her lengthy list of things to do.

“Work with me, Andrew.” She said carrying her brother to his bed.

She’d nearly fallen up the stairs when her ankle gave out but keeping Andrew safe was her main priority and she suffered through the agonizing pain that followed. She lay his head upon his pillow and softly sang a lullaby to him until his eyes were closed and his breathing slowed.

When she came back downstairs she continued working on the farm. She made him lunch and left it at his bedside stand, and delivered her mother’s lunch as well. The Walsh brothers brought their own lunches so they didn’t have to inconvenience Lily, she was slightly disappointed that they didn’t sit at her table with her for a few minutes.

Later that day she asked one of her friends, Nikki, to deliver Andrew’s dinner. SHe didn’t bat an eyelash at Lily’s warning about him being mean and angry when he woke up and walked up the old servant stairs. She unlocked Andrew’s door and walked right in.

“Get out!” HE screamed instantly furious.

“No, I brought you dinner so quit your mood and eat.” SHe said coldly.

Andrew, confused at her standing up to him stopped throwing things, stopped crying, and collapsed on the floor. The thunk of his head rang out through his room and he balled up tightly, the tears of his actions flowing into his palms.

“Andrew, don’t cry, I just wanted you to

The more the Walsh brothers worked the more they hung out after. Lily continued to work but every once in a while she paused when Levi sparked an interesting conversation. She watched Levi talk so passionately about things that she loved too. She also watched Kimberly from the corner of her eye and she had no interest in Levi unless he was talking about her.

“All I’m saying is if Hickory don’t straighten up, his rider can kiss victory goodbye.” Lily said from the laundry room.

Lily and Levi had been engrossed in horse talk since he got off and they were nowhere near ending. Kimberly had no interest in the conversation, she was too busy talking about herself in the corner with Wes. They were discussing her favorite places she’d traveled to and Wes asked questions about them.

“So where was your absolute, favorite place?” He asked.

She bit her lower lip and sighed, “I think I liked Paris best. Not to sound like one of those hopeless romantics but there’s something about the lights and the easy spirit that makes my heart race.”

Wes smiled, he liked the softer side of Kimberly, even if he was only supposed to distract her from Levi. Levi liked Lily and Kimberly got in the way every time. He asked Wes to keep her busy until she saw how much he liked Lily, she was starting to see.

She noticed it when Lily did something Kimberly thought unthinkable. Lily punched Levi playfully in the arm and giggled. Kimberly froze midsentence looking at her sister, she hadn’t noticed for the past six weeks, the twinkle in Lily’s eyes around Levi, she was too caught up in herself. Kimberly watched her sister sit on the arm of the couch to defend the racer she liked without batting an eyelash.

Kimberly was restless through the night. She wanted Lily to find love but she thought she was in love with Levi, not that she knew much about him, she just knew he looked nice. The fact was, her little sister had a crush on a boy and Kimberly knew she couldn’t compete.

When the Sunday paper reached Lily, on Monday, she was shocked. The front page read: The Jacobs House of Secrets. Tears sprang to Lily’s eyes as she read on. The hateful stories from people she’d known all her life, and the truths that she’d denied for years all came out in the four page spread. The more she read about her being mentally ill, killing her sister, and working until her bad leg wore out, all of it made her want to curl up.

She slammed the paper down on the kitchen table in front of Andrew and Kimberly. Levi and Wes froze and looked down guiltily, they’d read it the previous day. Lily started doing the dishes frantically trying to with hold her tears that threatened to fall again. Kimberly’s cheeks grew red hot giving them an unnaturally red tint, and Andrew stormed off.

“Lily, calm down, they needed a good story is all.” She said.

“Most of it is true, they knew our deepest secrets. They knew about Mom, Andrew’s fits, my leg, they even knew about how bad you are. Who knows maybe you are holding money back for yourself!” Lily yelled dropping a ceramic bowl all over the floor. SHe cursed under breath and started cleaning the big shards up.

“It’s not.” Kimberly argued and went to the library.

She found Wes was in there waiting for things to cool down. SHe wanted to collapse into his arms, she’d spent a few weeks getting to know the real Wes and she was falling for him. He turned slightly, Kimberly composed herself, raising her head high in the air.

“Is it true?” He asked coldly.

“No.”

“Then where’s all the money you’re supposed to make? You say you win all the time. Lily’s farm is on the verge of foreclosure and you’re hiding money for what, Paris?” He yelled.

“I know it’s too late for me to be that scholar but Lily is too smart and sharp to stay on this farm forever. You can call the bank, they’ll tell you it’s under Lily’s name and when she turns eighteen she can get out of here.” Kimberly said bitterly.

“Darn it, Kim.”

“What?” She asked, confused by his anger.

“I think I’m accidently falling in love with you.” He said. Kimberly ran into his arms, unable to hold in her happiness.

Outside, behind the library door, Lily listened to Kimberly’s secret plan. She never thought of her sister as a snob, more as a selfish dancer who cared about only herself. Lily was about to leave when the door opened and Wes stepped out. SHe stepped with the door, hidden quietly behind it. Kimberly wasn’t so easily fooled.

“Lily, come here.” She said.

“I wasn’t listening in, I was coming to make sure you were alright, I didn’t mean to sound so awful.” Lily began.

They talked about everything that the article talked about. They talked about where the information may have come from. Lily thought maybe the Walsh’s but Kimberly laughed at her little sister.

“How will Levi react to Wes and you falling in love with each other?’ Lily asked out of the blue.

She smiled, “Lily, we both know Levi likes you and you like him.”

“No, you like him so I kept my distance... as best I could.” She admitted.

“Why do you try so hard to be unlikable?”

She groaned, ”Sorry I’m not pretty enough for people to like me!”

“You just want everybody to pity you! You’re completely insane, Lily!” Kimberly screamed at her sister.

Lily said nothing more, she just stood there with tears in her eyes again but she let them fall. Kimberly leaned in but she jerked away, her sister had said enough. Lily ran out holding her eyes trying to calm herself down. She, out of habit, ran to the barn to calm herself down. SHe was trying to catch her breath when a metal clang resounded throughout the small space.

“Levi?” She asked when he stepped out.

“Yeah, sorry. What’s wrong, Lily?”

“It doesn’t matter, you should go check on Kimberly.” She said trying to hold her head high.

He stepped closer, “I don’t wanna go check on her, I’m worried about you.”

“But I thought you liked her.”

“No, Lily it’s always been you. The moment I watched you work through dinner, limping sorta and yet holding your head high. It’s always been you.”

Lily spilled everything out that she’d just talked about with Kimberly. The crazy part and she even admitted to liking him, all while Levi held her in the hay in the loft. Lily couldn’t remember getting up to the loft, she usually made it halfway and her ankle would lock up but they sat in each other’s arms.

“Lily,” He said quietly, she nodded, “Do you really like me?”

“Yeah.” She whispered and her eyes closed softly.

From there on Kimberly and Lily avoided each other. Lily wouldn’t even cook for Kimberly, she just stared at her until Kimberly left. Lily was someone who could hold a grudge for as long as it took for the opposing force to break. She wasn’t the type to give up just because someone wanted her to.

“How long are you two going to stay like this?” Wes asked during one uncomfortable stare down at the dinner table.

Lily shrugged, “As long as it takes, I’m psychotic so I have no problem acting crazy.”

“Lily,” Kimberly started, “You’re not crazy, I didn’t mean to say that.” She added.

Lily just shrugged her off and walked out. She didn’t want anyone to see how sad she is about losing her sister. She didn’t want them to see the vulnerable side of Lily, she wanted them to see the strong side. She breathed deeply on the way to the cliff.

She didn’t know where she was going originally but then the path become more familiar. Lily started running through the overgrown field at top speed. Her feet kept moving faster and faster until they came to a sudden stop. The ledge was only a foot away from Lily, she could take one more step and end up with Alex. Lily thought about it, she thought about how everything would be better if she wasn’t there, if she was free of everything that burned inside her.

A rumble from a cloud and it rained on Lily. She sat down, letting the rain penetrate her thick sweater, and letting it wash everything away. The coldness of the rain numbed her fingers and toes and made her forget all about where she was. Soon she slept on the wet ground, under the tree, with the thunder and lightning having little effect.

When she saw the different surroundings around her, she groaned. Realizing that the bland white walls and sterile smell meant she was in the hospital Lily remembered where she had been. The only blank spot was how she went from the hill to the hospital, the last time she'd seen the room was when her dreams shattered, and her sister was lost. 

"Lily, are you alright?" He asked quietly from the corner. She knew she'd messed up from the distressed look on his face. 

    To be continued...