How I survived high school: chapter 5

Okay and a follow up a few chapters later. I think I just have one big comment as I was never really one for grammar line-by-lines.

1. So, the characters have inch by inch developed a little bit, but I'm not sure how well. I'm having a difficult time empathizing for any of the characters in your story, I don't have the attraction everyone seems to have to Aaman nor do I really feel bad when she 'steals' Josh from Leandra. That's not good. I mean, I'm just not sure there is a lot of 'high school depth' to these kids, I mean, this period of your life is complicated but I don't really see repercussions for these complications in your story. They don't need to be all like, 'War and Peace' about relationships but this sort of thing is usually a bigger deal.

And the only character I can really physical picture is Aaman. Why so light on physical description? I think you could toss a detail here and a detail there and weave them into your narrative.

I think you have some good general conflict and plot points moving, but without strong, deep, characters it doesn't mean much. I think so investment in character development would work wonders on this piece.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or don't get something. Keep it up!

-Pattycakes

Just a quick note on your layout first. You should leave double lines between each paragraph and speech,

like this, just because it looks a little neater and spaces your writing out more. Presentation is quite important in obtaining those crucial reviews; no one wants to read something that looks squashed.

fun4eva wrote:Chapter 5

A week passed by. High school was no more the perfect fantasized dream I thought it was. Home work was piling up, the pressure of getting boyfriends was increasing and teachers were stricter. In fact anything I ever did was wrong according to the teachers and when some one else did the same thing, it was excused somehow or the other. In short, it was a nightmare where everyone was trying to pull me down except, of course, Aanam and Leandra.
I sat in my geography class, while the teacher blabbered something about tectonic plates. My thoughts ran back to that morning when Leandra had broken to me, the most shocking news of the century.
“Shocked?” Aanam had asked, the dimple in her right cheek appearing as usual.
“Of course!” I replied.
Leandra just stood there, watching the silence between us. None of us said a word but our eyes and expressions said numerous things to each other.
Aanam’s look told me, “now [Capital for now.] don’t look at me like that. So I fell in love, sue me!”
Leandra’s face clearly said [Comma here.] “What is so shocking? He is not a bad guy, you know.”
And my expression clearly stated [Comma here.] “But why did it have to be Josh?”
What got me out of this thought was Jared’s chit. [Chit? Is it slang or a typo?] It read:
“So??? Aanam found Josh…you [Space before you.] got anyone??”
Wow! Rumors sure did spread fast in our school. Two hours ago, Aanam tells me something confidentially and the next, some sneaky eavesdropper transfers the news to Jared. I fished a pen from my pouch. Seriously, the only time I ever used this pen was when I had to write chits or doodle hearts on my note book.
I scribbled in a handwriting that resembled scrambled eggs: [Awesome simile!]
“What the hell are you talking bout??? Josh?? From where did Josh come in the scene?” And very smartly, changing the topic, “Btw, did you learn for that big test thingy we’re supposed to have?”
His reply was quick:
“AHH! Shabeen doesn’t like josh! Oh my god! Oh my lord! Don’t think you can lie to me man. Baba…I know everything!!!”
That was typical Jared language and he did a pretty fair job of translating it on paper.
I looked at Aanam, who was clueless, sitting right next to me.
“You told Jared? Dumb girl.” [Comma rather than full stop.] I whispered.
“Err...Kinda. [Space after the ellipse.] He was forcing me.” [Comma rather than full stop and small letter for she.] She replied, not failing to show her teeth.
“Don’t you know what a gossip monger that guy is?” I whispered, in a whisper which is a whisper and a shout at the same time.
All she managed was a dumb smile.
I slapped my hands against my forehead; this love story wasn’t going to go too far.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! How wrong I was that day. I was sitting in my class after lunch, clueless [s]of[/s] to the things that were going on in the library [s]without my knowledge[/s].
The teacher announced [s]that [/s]a surprise Hindi test and everybody started moaning. As everyone would have expected me to, I didn’t, because I had something else [s]in[/s] on my mind- Jared and Aanam were missing. Probably they were bunking, not what bothered me. What made me restless was the fact that Aanam didn’t invite me for the bunk plan. We were bunking partners, how could she forget?
The test began, papers were passed and whispers were heard. I looked at the paper blankly. It was quite evident that these papers were carefully examined and approved by the UOMLH (Universal organization of making kids’ life hell). Aanam was a Muslim, so obviously she was good in Hindi. Seeing that she wasn’t present in class, I opened my note book and wrote two questions on the first page.
“Psst…Tishaa…Psst…” I whispered. [Space after each ellipse.]
She looked at me from the corner of her eye. I motioned my hands, pointing to my book. She [s]saw if[/s] checked whether the teacher was around and swiftly snatched the book from my hand even before I realized it.
After scribbling something on it for a while, she passed it back to me. I saw the teacher[s] taking[/s] making her rounds. I held the book in my hand but the minute I saw her walking towards me, my hands started shaking and the book fell [s]off [/s] from my hands. Picking it up was an option, but at times like these your brain stops working just to make the effect of it even worse.
She walked over to me and picked up the book.
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! [Bold and one exclamation mark are just as effective and much more professional.] Wait, wait. I don’t have to panic. Maybe she’ll just[s] keep[/s] place the book on my desk and walk off, I reassured myself.
She flipped the pages and I didn’t know why but she found the first page the most interesting part. Her face became even more serious.
I looked down at my paper and pretended to write down something while I actually drew crooked lines. My heart was beating rapidly and my throat had frozen. I knew playing “innocent” wasn’t going to work. I knew it was over. I just knew it!
Tishaa was equally nervous. She was looking at the back with one eye, cracking her knuckles anxiously.
My teacher made an irritated expression. Oh hell! I just wished for one thing at that time. I wished I could rewind this whole thing.
My teacher opened her mouth and uttered those memorable words in Hindi, “kiska book hai? Naam bhi nahi likhaan!, Whose book is this? And why isn’t the name written?”
I was shocked at her dumbness. She was holding a book which the students were using as a medium of cheating and staring right at that page but all she was bothered about was the name! Man, she was stupid. Tishaa gave me a sly smile and I almost burst out laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You don’t know what happened during Hindi today?” I laughed, catching up with Aanam outside the library.
“And you don’t know, too!” She gave a suspenseful smile.
“What?”
“Josh,” she squealed excitedly.
Her smile said it all, it didn’t even need any kind of explanation. “What? How? When? So fast?”
“Its me who did it, baba. I am the mastermind behind it.” Jared walked from the library, giving me a mischievous smile.

Hi there!

I first have to specify - you're not a bad writer, not in the least. You just need to make this original - make it your own. The whole high-school friend's crushes thing has been overdone to death - which isn't your fault. You can make it work, you just need to add that special something which sets your story apart.

For Originality - Get inspirations in your everyday life. For example if you want to write a children's book, observe children. See how they act, see the world through their eyes, and then write about something that fascinates them. Listen to the news: maybe your brain can conjure up a story just waiting to be written. Everyday life can be an inspiration. Carry a notepad with you all the time. If you're on the bus, at work, or anywhere, and something piques your interest, write it down so you won't forget.

Character Developement - you especially need to work on this. Think long and hard about your characters (who they are, what they're like, what they want, what they're afraid of), setting (time period, location), and conflict (person versus person, person versus society, person versus fate). They make the story interesting. Know what you want your main characters to be like. Don't give a nerdy kid a cool phrase if you know s/he wouldn't say it. Know your characters like you know yourself. Live inside your character's head for a day.

Good luck!
xxx

I can't apologise enough for how late this is - I can't begin to tell you how bad I feel, but I am here and I am ready to review!! =D
Also, I haven't read the above reviews (lazy, I know), so sorry if I repeat what's already been said (:

fun4eva wrote:Chapter 5 [b][I've not read the other chapters to this .. it will probably affect my understanding of this so I apologise in advance if I ask some really obvious questions =P Anywhoo .. let's read this!!]: Things get a little complicated. [/b]

A week passed by. High school [shouldn't it be capitalised? Like: High School? Or surely you should put in the name of the school?] was no more the perfect fantasized dream I thought it was. Home work[one word] was piling up, the pressure of getting boyfriends was increasing and teachers were stricter. Of course, no one as bad as Selena[this doesn't make sense - what is 'no one as bad a Selena' referring to? You need to make this clearer ...]. One thing that hadn’t changed were my friends- Leandra and Aanam[what do you mean by thuis? Why would they have changed?]. [great way to start a chapter - you've really imformed the reader. Great job!! (: ]
One day, when I was walking to class like every morning[comma] I encountered Leandra.
[Delete NP]“Guess what?” She grinned, her hazel eyes shining with excitement.[great description!! (: ]
“What?” I couldn’t resist gossip, especially when it was Leandra who was dishing it out.
“Can’t you take a guess?” She placed her hands on her hips[what's her facial expression?].
“Come on now.[replace with comma] You’re making me restless.[replace with comma]” I said, motioning my hands in the air.
“Guess who Aanam has a crush on?”
[I'm not too sure, but I don't think this should be a NP]Now I couldn’t control myself at all. Someone Aanam had a crush had on had to be someone really worth it because she was the most popular girl in school.
“Tell! Tell! Tell!” I screamed.
“JOSH!!!” Leandra squealed, jumping up and down excitedly.
I screamed. Leandra screamed. But then, I realised something.
“Wait a minute,” I said silencing the noise. “I thought you like Josh.”
“I do!” Leandra exclaimed. “And that’s the great thing. Now we can share a crush.”[this seems a strabge thing for a freind to like sharing another friend's crush - maybe you could expand on this, tell me the motivations behind this reaction. I know you can't go that much into detail as it's first person, but you can go into some. Maybe say that Leandra has always wanted to share the popular girl's crush in school, because it means she can get closer to him ... I don't know - you make it up!! Also, what is your MC's thoughts on this - you can expand on both of these things together]
“You idiot!” someone said. We turned around to see who it was. Aanam was standing, smiling in her usual position with hands at the back. “I wanted to break the news to her.”
“Ooh! Too late.” Leandra laughed.
“So Aanam, since when? And more importantly, why?” I sighed.
Both of them gave me a light hit on my arm. Now when I say something about Josh I have to be ready for double the trouble,[as this is a direct thought, it should be in italics] I thought.
*****************************************
I[try and start this off without using an 'I'] laughed hysterically as Jared cracked a joke which didn’t make any sense to me [?]. It was drama class and I would have been bored to tears if Jared wasn’t my partner[comma] as none of my other friends had been selected for this lame activity. Yeah[never use 'yeah' if it's not a part of a direct thought or speech!!], that’s how things usually/normally worked out in my school. The teachers had to choose our hobby, something that normally we do with our own choice and interest.
Just then, Josh was passing by, doing some duties which a captain was supposed to.
“Hey Josh! You still on for the football match this Saturday?” Jared screamed.
The teacher caught notice of him.
[Delete NP]“Jared, Is this the way you behave in a drama class?” she said over dramatically.[replace with semi-colon] our drama teacher[by now, you should have mentioned the teacher's name] always over reacted even when not required. Guess that’s why she’s the drama teacher.
“So...sorry teacher[no one calls a teacher 'teacher' to their face - it's always Miss or Sir ...].[replace with comma]” he mumbled. Josh just smiled, making a teasing face at Jared and walked away.
[Delete NP]How kiddish[another direct thought - italics], I thought.
“So you seem to be a good friend of Josh, huh?” I tried to stir up a conversation.
“I know Aanam likes him.”
I was shocked when I heard this. Was I hearing him right?
“How the hell do you-”
“Chill man! Aanam told me herself.”
“Oh no! What has she done? Doesn’t she know what a rumour spreader you are?”
“I am NOT a rumour spreader. And I can actually help her get to know him.”
“You can?” I asked excitedly.
“Hmm...Ok, I’ll talk to him.” [In this speech conversation, you need to use he/she said, whispered or whatever verb you want to use, as there is none at all. You don't need to use it after each speech, just some of the time to break it up and make not alot of dialogue, if you catch my drift (: ]
*****************************************
“Guess what! Guess what!” Aanam squealed, running toward us. We were hanging out near the window which had a clear view of the basketball court. And[please, please, pleaseeee don't use 'and' as a starting sentence unless it's speech involved (: It's one of my pet hates =P Just reword it or link it to the previous paragraph (: ] we were hanging out here for a reason…at least I was![what was the reason? Or has it been mentioned in the previous paragrphs. Although, even if it has .. you should maybe still make it a little more clearer, who was there ..]
“Aanam, it’s not like I haven’t heard enough screams for the day. Gosh! My class was so noisy today and you know what? The funniest thing happened-”[said ...]
“Leandra, I need you to concentrate here,” she snapped.
I was listening to all this sub-consciously because most of my attention was on the cute ninth grader, Aaron, who happened to be playing basketball.[Ooh, now I know why!! Scrap what I said up there, and stick your tongue out at me .. I'm being silly =P ][/b]
“I don’t know what miracle Jared did…I seriously don’t know but Josh just asked me out.”
“What??” I spat out the orange juice I was gulping down, gaining my consciousness. Why did it always have to be orange juice when Aanam said something startling.
"You really gotta stop doing that!" Aanam watcheed[oopsy, cut out the extra 'e' (: ] me in my most disgraceful avatar.
“Did you say yes?” Leandra asked inquisitively, playing with her hair nervously.
“Heck yeah!” Aanam said like it was the most obvious thing on earth… actually it was.
Just then, we saw Josh passing by. “Sup!”[Should that be S'up? I'm not too sure, but I'm sure that a ' needs to be in there somewhere, but not too sure where ... hmm .. will get back to you on that one ] he smiled at Aanam.
All Aanam could do was give back a lame smile but honestly, I had never seen her happier than this before. Once,[delete comma] he went away I jumped off from the window sill where I was sitting and started squealing and jumping around with Aanam excitedly. The happiness on Aanam’s face was genuine, one could tell. It wasn’t a big surprise that she was smiling, she always did. Seeing her face without the smile was inconceivable but for some reason, this smile looked like a different one.[how? Try showing instead of telling, if you get what I mean, like how the smile not only lit up her face but her eyes, and her whole persona ... something like that]
As we were celebrating Aanam’s first boyfriend, I noticed something I should have earlier. Leandra was still sitting on the window sill staring out the window, looking lost. Her eyes had a glint[I'm not too sure if glint is the best word to use. It's totally up to you whether you keep it or not, but I think another word would maybe fit better ...?]…was she crying?

Aww, poor Leandra. I suppose she was heart - broken.

Comments in bold letters. (I can't seem to put any colour )

A week (had) passed by. High school was no more the perfect fantasized dream I thought it was. Home work was piling up, the pressure of getting boyfriends was increasing and teachers were stricter. Of course, no one as bad as Selena. One thing that hadn’t changed were my friends- Leandra and Aanam.
One day, when I was walking to class like every morning I encountered Leandra.
“Guess what?” She grinned, her hazel eyes shining with excitement.
“What?” I couldn’t resist gossip, especially when it was Leandra who was dishing it out.
“Can’t you take a guess?” She placed her hands on her hips. (Should be "She asked, placing her hands on her hips.)
“Come on now. You’re making me restless.” I said, motioning my hands in the air.
“Guess who Aanam has a crush on?”
Now I couldn’t control myself at all. Someone Aanam had a crush had on had to be someone really worth it because she was the most popular girl in school.
“Tell! Tell! Tell!” I screamed.
“JOSH!!!” Leandra squealed, jumping up and down excitedly.
I screamed. Leandra screamed. But then, I realised something.
“Wait a minute,” I said(,) silencing the noise. “I thought you like Josh.”
“I do!” Leandra exclaimed. “And that’s the great thing. Now we can share a crush.”
“You idiot!” someone said. We turned around to see who it was. Aanam was standing, smiling in her usual position with (her) hands at [s]the[/s] (her) back. “I wanted to break the news to her.”
“Ooh! Too late.” Leandra laughed.
“So Aanam, Since when? And more importantly, why?” I sighed. (Make it "I asked, looking serious")
Both of them gave me a light hit on my arm. Now when I say something about Josh I have to be ready for double the trouble, I thought.
*****************************************
I laughed hysterically as Jared cracked a joke which didn’t make any sense. It was drama class and I would have been bored to tears (Make it, 'bored to sleep') if Jared wasn’t my partner as none of my other friends had been selected for this lame activity. Yeah, that’s how things worked in my school. The teachers had to choose our hobby, something that normally we do with our own choice and interest.
Just then, Josh was passing by, doing some duties which a captain was supposed to.
“Hey Josh! You still on for the football match this Saturday?” Jared screamed.
The teacher caught notice of him. (Well, wouldn't she if he bellowed at the top of his voice?)
“Jared, Is this the way you behave in a drama class?” (Make this a joke, like "Jared, is a football match connected with drama practice?") she said over dramatically. Our drama teacher always over reacted even when not required. Guess that’s why she’s the drama teacher.
“So...sorry teacher.” He mumbled. Josh just smiled, making a teasing face and walked away.
How kiddish, I thought.
“So you seem to be a good friend of josh, huh?” I tried (Should be, "I asked, trying") to stir up a conversation.
“I know Aanam likes him.” (he said, straight out)
I was shocked when I heard this. Was I hearing him right?
“How the hell do you-”
“Chill man! Aanam told me herself.”
“Oh no! What has she done? Doesn’t she know what a rumour spreader you are?”
“I am NOT a rumour spreader. And I can actually help her get to know him.”
“You can?” I asked excitedly.
“Hmm...Ok (okay), I’ll talk to him.”
*****************************************
“Guess what! Guess what!” Aanam squealed, running toward us. (Sheesh, doesn't any girl speak quietly and softly?) We were hanging out near the window which had a clear view of the basketball court. And we were hanging out here for a reason…at least I was!
“Aanam, it’s not like I haven’t heard enough screams for the day. Gosh! My class was so noisy today and you know what? The funniest thing happened-” (Who says this? Leandra or you?)
“Leandra, I need you to concentrate here,” she snapped. (I thought it was you who said the above statement)
I was listening to all this sub-consciously because most of my attention was on the cute ninth grader, Aaron, who happened to be playing basketball. (Oooh, why were you looking at him?)
“I don’t know what miracle Jared did…I seriously don’t know but Josh just asked me out.”
“What??” I spat out the orange juice (which) I was gulping down, gaining my consciousness. (That's about the fifth time you did that.) Why did it always have to be orange juice when Aanam said something startling.
"You really gotta stop doing that!" Aanam (said,) [s]watcheed[/s] (watching) me in my most disgraceful avatar. (Avatar? You mean attire?)
“Did you say yes?” Leandra asked inquisitively, playing with her hair nervously.
“Heck yeah!” Aanam said like it was the most obvious thing on earth… actually it was.
Just then, we saw Josh passing by. “Sup!” he smiled at Aanam.
All Aanam could do was give back a lame smile but honestly, I had never seen her happier than this before. Once, he went away I jumped off from the window sill where I was sitting and started squealing and jumping around with Aanam excitedly. The happiness on Aanam’s face was genuine, one could tell. It wasn’t a big surprise that she was smiling, she always did. Seeing her face without the smile was inconceivable but for some reason, this smile looked like a different one.
As we were celebrating Aanam’s first boyfriend, I noticed something I should have earlier. Leandra was still sitting on the window sill staring out the window, looking lost. Her eyes had a glint…was she crying? (Was she? )

Well, this part of the story had many mistakes, but most of them were minor. But you really need to say something about this 'Josh' fellow / Aanam's boyfriend. I keep on imagining the Josh in Princess Diaries film.

And I suppose you are hiking up to this 'Jared' fellow? Good for you. But why were you looking at that Aaron?

Well, correct your mistakes.

Good luck.

fun4eva wrote:Chapter 5: Things get a little complicated. Comments in red

A week passed by. High school was no more the perfect fantasized dream I thought it was. Home work was piling up, the pressure of getting boyfriends was increasing and teachers were stricter. Of course, no one as bad as Selena. One thing that hadn’t changed were my friends- Leandra and Aanam.
One day, when I was walking to class like every morning I encountered Leandra.
“Guess what?” She grinned, her hazel eyes shining with excitement.
“What?” I couldn’t resist gossip, especially when it was Leandra who was dishing it out.
“Can’t you take a guess?” She placed her hands on her hips.
“Come on now. You’re making me restless,[/color[s].[/s]” I said, motioning my hands in the air.
“Guess who Aanam has a crush on?”
Now I couldn’t control myself at all. Someone Aanam had a crush had on had to be someone really worth it[color=red], because she was the most popular girl in school.
“Tell! Tell! Tell!” I screamed.
“JOSH!!!” Leandra squealed, jumping up and down excitedly.
I screamed. Leandra screamed. But then, I [s]realised[/s]realized something.
“Wait a minute,” I said silencing the noise. “I thought you like Josh.”
“I do!” Leandra exclaimed. “And that’s the great thing. Now we can share a crush.”
“You idiot!” someone said. We turned around to see who it was. Aanam was standing, smiling in her usual position with hands at the back.This sentence confused me. I can't tell what she's doing or where her hands are. “I wanted to break the news to her.”
“Ooh! Too late,[s].[/s]” Leandra laughed.
“So Aanam, Since when? And more importantly, why?” I sighed. Why is she sighing? That doesn't really fit in with what's happening.
Both of them gave me a light hit on my arm. Now when I say something about Josh I have to be ready for double the trouble, I thought. Thoughts in italic.
*****************************************
I laughed hysterically as Jared cracked a joke which didn’t make any sense. It was drama class and I would have been bored to tears if Jared wasn’t my partner, as none of my other friends had been selected for this lame activity. Yeah, that’s how things worked in my school. The teachers had to choose our hobby, something that normally we do with our own choice and interest.
Just then, Josh was passing by, doing some duties which a captain was supposed to.
“Hey Josh! You still on for the football match this Saturday?” Jared screamed.
The teacher caught notice of him.
“Jared, Is this the way you behave in a drama class?” she said over dramatically. Our drama teacher always over reacted, even when not required. Guess that’s why she’s the drama teacher.
“So...sorry teacher.” He mumbled. Josh just smiled, making a teasing face and walked away.
How kiddish, I thought.
“So you seem to be a good friend of josh, huh?” I tried to stir up a conversation.
“I know Aanam likes him.”
I was shocked when I heard this. Was I hearing him right?
“How the hell do you-”
“Chill man! Aanam told me herself.”
“Oh no! What has she done? Doesn’t she know what a rumo[s]u[/s]r spreader you are?”
“I am NOT a rumo[s]u[/s]r spreader. And I can actually help her get to know him.”
“You can?” I asked excitedly.
“Hmm...Okay, I’ll talk to him.” NO! NO! Please never make the ok/okay mistake. Please.
*****************************************
“Guess what! Guess what!” Aanam squealed, running toward us. Your friends have a habit of running and squealing. We were hanging out near the window which had a clear view of the basketball court. And we were hanging out here for a reason…space.at least I was!
“Aanam, it’s not like I haven’t heard enough screams for the day. Gosh! My class was so noisy today and you know what? The funniest thing happened-”
“Leandra, I need you to concentrate here,” she snapped.
I was listening to all this sub-consciously because most of my attention was on the cute ninth grader, Aaron, who happened to be playing basketball.
“I don’t know what miracle Jared did…I seriously don’t know but Josh just asked me out.”
“What??” I spat out the orange juice I was gulping down, gaining my consciousness. Why did it always have to be orange juice when Aanam said something startling.
"You really gotta stop doing that!" Aanam watche[s]e[/s]d me in my most disgraceful avatar. Avatar? I don't get the relation.
“Did you say yes?” Leandra asked inquisitively, playing with her hair nervously.
“Heck yeah!” Aanam said like it was the most obvious thing on earth… actually it was.
Just then, we saw Josh passing by. “Sup[color=red?[/color][s]![/s]” he smiled at Aanam.
All Aanam could do was give back a lame smile[color=red,[/color] but honestly, I had never seen her happier [s]than this before[/s]. Once[s],[/s] he went away I jumped off [s]from[/s] the window sill where I [s]was[/s] had been sitting and started squealing and jumping around with Aanam excitedly. The happiness on Aanam’s face was genuine, one could tell. It wasn’t a big surprise that she was smiling[color=red;[/color][s],[/s] she always did. Seeing her face without the smile was inconceivable but for some reason, this smile looked [s]like a[/s] different [s]one[/s].
As we were celebrating Aanam’s first boyfriend, I noticed something I should have earlier. Leandra was still sitting on the window sill staring out the window, looking lost. Her eyes had a glint…space.was she crying?

Nice going.

I liked this chapters ending,I think so far uptil 5th thsi was the best somehow.heh.

As we were celebrating Aanam’s first boyfriend, I noticed something I should have earlier. Leandra was still sitting on the window sill staring out the window, looking lost. Her eyes had a glint…was she crying?

Seeing her face without the smile was unconceivable but for some reason, this smile looked like a different one.