if you have any suggestions, or what I should do later on, please tell!
This is just a random idea I have and I want to actually make this a real show but I don't know actually... if you have any tips or anything just let me know!
This season on Ms. Fowell's School of witchcraft and mayhem:
a flyer on a desk for a prestigious school titled: Ms. Fowell's School for good and kind magic.
Therapist VO: I understand that you are a witch and have been having problems with your magic? Show: a group of library books flying off the wall and chasing a group of unfortunate children.
VO again: I have the perfect school for you!
Show: Therapist holding up the flyer and grinning happily.
Mother: This sounds like the perfect school!
Show: main girl Sylvie staring at misty, evil-looking gates in front of the school, holding a suitcase. School name (Displayed on top) magically shifts from school for good and kind magic to School for witchcraft and mayhem.
Sylvie: [as creepy-looking girl with purple umbrella and black cat stands next to her] we have gone to the wrong school...
Show: in forest, a witch hunt going on, with, you know it, flaming torches and pitchforks, with an angry mob heading to the school, before bouncing back on force field.
Main Policeman (hosting mob) You have a dark witch in there!!!! [people echo agreement behind him)
Show: football field, a dead cheerleader in the middle of it, people gasping.
Main Policeman: VO: this witch is the death of us all!
Beatrice (the creepy-looking girl) [holding umbrella even though it is sunny out] emotionlessly: you know things are bad when the ditzy cheerleader always dies first.
Show: Sylvie with cool boy her age.
Vo: sylvie: there's a murderer in this school...
Show Sylvie and Beatrice walking through school hallways together
VO again: And they want me dead, because I'm a witch.
Show: Book being thrown across room and a girl standing at doorway.
Show: Sylvie staring at goth roommate.
Roommate: Life is pain.
Woman, Vo with show title page across screen: Coming soon...
if you have any suggestions, or what I should do later on, please tell!
You haven't really fleshed out everything yet which makes things little difficult for me (and readers) to give you suggestions on sequels because it's still to broad and open blank spaces. But I'll try my best.
Okay, so this is a dark twist alright. (I love it when stories take a sharp dark turn, so that's why that's my first suggestion.) Make Sylvie become a bad guy, let something happen (f.e. She lost a loved one by magic or sacrificed their life to save the school and Sylvie doesn't understand that or she can't cope with that and turns bad, maybe she concours the school who knows.)
So, this is just a basic storyline. Introduce a bad guy and make Sylvie destroy him/her in the end, you know make the the good guy, saviour of the magi school.
Sylvie must make a choice wether to sacrifice the school/ her best friend or her magic to save someone or her friend or the school. You make her give up her magic and she saves her friend and the school as a bonus but ends up without magic herself and spends the rest of her life as a muggle living in the muggle world working at a office sad (that she has no magic) but happy (that she has her best friend), maybe make her best friend a boy and they can marry and still be happy together and have a little family. So, that way she won't miss her magic.
The best friends betrayel:
Sylvie and her roommate become best friends and then her best friend secretly joins the dark side (out of desperate reasons, she needed black magic to make her mother survive some kind of illness, but the black magic consumes her and the best friend aka roommate becomes bad) and sylvie has to kill him/her, because the best friend is going to betray her in a desperate moment.
Therapist is the monster:
You can make the therapist a evil monster who eats the guts of people from the town. Sounds so gross, but it can be a story I guess. And the cheerleader dead girl can have found out that's why the therapist killed her too and ate her guts. But normally she just goes to a cemetary and digs up people who have been burried that day and after that she puts there bodies back without the guts ofc, because she ate them.
Police man is the good guy:
The police man can help Sylvie catch the evil therapist monster, but they don't yet know it's her so yeah, he makes a case for Sylvie investigating every crime that happens in town from now on.
Mother hides dark secrets:
Sylvie's mother hides something, I don't know what yet. But its a deep dark secret. 'cause she always tells Sylvie not to talk about Aunt Sylverianne (the origin of her name Sylvie). Aunt Sylverianne is/was the half blood-sister of the mother. Maybe Aunt Sylverianne was jealous of the mother of Sylvie and loved her boyfriend. But one day the boyfriend tells Sylverianne that Sylvie's mother is pregnant with his child (Sylvie's brother) and the aunt is angry, very angry.
The father of Sylvie says, "Sylverianne, I love Evelyn. I am so sorry, but I really do. We're getting married in december some moths before our son is born."
Sylverianne is very angry, she throws her hands up and says, "I thought we were dating, Crusyl?"
Crusyl (the father of Sylvie): "I am sorry, I really love your sister."
"This is all your fault!" Sylverianne screams to Evelyn, "You always ruin my happy endings! I hate you and I curse you."
Evelyn hold her stomach with one hand and says, "Sylver, please don't do this."
"My name is Sylverianne! And I curse you too. Every child you get, boy or girl. I don't magically care. Will die! The moment you've birthed them and they've cryed their first cry!"
Evelyn and Crusyl never got to have children without the children dying. After trying for seven times, seven of their children died at their first cry, Evelyn gave up hope and started losing her mind slowly. That was until Crusyl adopted Sylvie, a girl from the orphanage, her mother passed away when she was born. Evelyn was so happy, she had a child. But never told Sylvie the truth until Sylvie found out herself or she probably told her.
You can decide the reaction yourself wether Sylvie will be mad at her mother for stealing her sisters boyfriend, which is not true, and she wakes up her aunt Sylverianne from the dead with a dark magic spell. Or you make a happy ending, it's totally up to you.
I hope I gave you some useful ideas and If you want more advice or suggestions feel free to knock at my door.
Great start off, I really hope you continue it. I'm excited to see what you'll come up with!
This is such and AWESOME script and I'm being 100% honest here. It is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!
The humor is just unbelievable and the mystery even more, it sounds like the perfect murder mystery and the best show.
The first two sentences have a sort of Harry Potter vibe to them, it seems you have managed to create your very own school of witchcraft. A good story always needs a good introduction, well done.
I have to say that the show is just hilarious. For example, a scene as normal as the one where the books fly behind the "unfortunate" children, I actually choked on my drink while reading it.
Your use of words definitely gives the reader a better view of the show, not to mention adds another layer of hilarity, just like "the evil-looking gates" and "the creepy-looking girl". The creepy-looking girl with the black cat and the umbrella reminds me of Wednesday Addams. Good one.
"Vo: sylvie: there's a murderer in this school..."
(Gasps dramatically) This story just got a lot more interesting. There are killers involved, probably with a villainous mustache and a villainous laugh or a very long beard that he might trip over. Or maybe a rubber gun, or maybe he just uses the pitchfork to save ammo.
Seems like there are a lot of books being thrown around in this show, I really hope the killer gets hit by some of them and slowly falls to the floor like a curtain and is officially dead. Unless he won't be soon, and make a dramatic comeback.
Definitely keep this show going. I'm really looking forward to more!