Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This is a lovely little chapter here to follow up what we've got so far. I think it sets up what appears to be the other side of this main story quite well here. You can definitely see where the story at large is shaping up to go towards here and I'm loving it.

Anyway let's get right to it,

ring! Ring! I rushed into homeroom. In case you're curious, I'm also a mermaid, just like Leena. Got that down? Yeah? Soooo.... I sat down on a rock in Underwater Academy. the grand mage's daughter is so lucky, not going to school here. I thought. doesn't have to deal with stupid Chloe. Jerk, she is.

Alas! Mrs. Algae swished into the room. I was the last person in the class, but she didn't seem to notice. She wrote on the board. Math. That's what she wrote. Just to be clear.

"Now," She said. "Jimmy John has 11 coconuts-" Vinny giggled. Inappropriate. "and lily has 7. Floboshmooz-" Mrs. Algae seemed to be running out of hypothetical names for her word problems, I noticed. "Comes and takes 4. How many do they all have?"

Well this is quite the start here. It looks like we've got ourselves a bit of a simple school scene going on here. Its a bit of a change of pace here in terms of where exactly we left off in the previous chapter but an interesting one nonetheless given we're going with a totally different POV. This does seem quite exciting so let's see where this is going here.

Chloe's hand shot up into the air at maximum speed. "Jimmyjohnhas9andlilyhas 5!" She yelled, her mouth moving at the speed of a race car. "Correct!" Mrs. Algae said happily. Wow, Chloe was such a teacher's pet. I thought in annoyance.

During lunch me, Makenzie, Quinn and This (yeah that's her real name ha-ha.) were all eating lunch at our usual table. I had a sandwich. "So, the test's today, wanna come to our house and study?" I asked This and Makenzie. They both nodded until-

"Thanks, but no thanks!" Chloe swam over, being a JERK. She smiled like a JERK. She had hair like a JERK. She talked like a JERK. She was a JERK. A BIG ONE, TOO. "I'm paying someone to do my test!" She said proudly. WHAT A JERK'S IDEA, I decided.

Hmmm well it seems we're diving off into a bit of a rivalry situation there. Love the way you're introducing all of these characters here. We're definitely going to remember all of these friends at this point with those introduction so I think you've done a great job there. I'm very much looking forward to seeing what these moments are going to add up to as we go on.

"We STOPPED doing THAT, CHLOE." said someone and a mermaid Clara swam over- wait, she was doing that?! Doing Chloe's test? "what do you mean, stopped?!?!?" Chloe screamed, like a JERK. What a Slay Queen, I thought. And not in a good way, either. A BAD WAY.

I got home with a pile of homework. Mother, who was on the phone, putting on her makeup, stopped. "Is that homework, I see?!" She asked. "Who gave you both that much?!"

"Uh Mrs. Algae." I said. I didn't have that much homework............................ Okay, yes I did. Mother gaped and stopped her call to call my teacher.

Well that's quite the moment. It seems for a change someone complaining about having too much homework has actually managed to go someplace although I get the feeling this call isn't exactly going to end well here. It doesn't seem to be the type of call that can end well.

"Yes, er, this is Alaina's Mother, you gave her too much homework.............. wait what? OKAY, WELL I NEVER, OH MY GOSH-" She turned off her phone and said, " what a rude woman!" She swam to the kitchen and started making dinner. Father was reading the newspaper in the corner, and then he gasped and dropped it. "WHAT IS IT?!" Quinn asked and swam over.

"You know 'atlantis,' right? Some people say that human have uncovered it!" he said.

I dropped my pile of homework.

OOoooooh well that's a lovely point to end on. Now it suddenly makes a lot more sense here seeing that our new perspective is outside that Atlantis situation we were dealing with in the first couple of chapters. Well this is definitely a powerful little moment to end on there. I can't wait to see how that factors in now. Wonderful little cliffhanger there.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this is a nice little second chapter here. I'm loving the way this is shaping up here. It looks like we have a really fun cast of characters coming up here and I can't wait to see where this is going to go next.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate

Hey there Foxmaster,

I am here to leave you an review on this master piece.

First of all, this story is really interesting an cute. I love your realistic reactions. Your dialogues are short and simple which makes the story more easy and fun to read. I love the mermaid idea. (I am huge fan of fiction, so yeah. You totally got me over there.) I love your names too.

Let us get this party started, shall we?

Chapter Two (A different person!)

You may notice that There is a different person writing this. You may notice it is in a different point of view. You may be wondering, why? And how can this person read my mind?!

The answers to all of these questions is none of your business.

AAAAAAAAAnyway, Leena wanted me to write about all of this. Very chaotic, this book will be. Also, Foxmaster, my good old friend also wanted me to write this, to spare her of adding yet another folder to her profile, and from starting another new novel. Very accurate, Foxmaster is. She's strange. So, where to begin? Ah yes, my name of course. I am ALANA WHO'S LAST NAME IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS. Can you remember that? Yes? Ah, let me continue. I am also fairly new to the ART of writing (Foxmaster is not.) and excuse everything wrond here.

~~~~

I really love your start with all of the questions and the "you may be wondering..." things, but I do think this part where you say "it's none of your business" comes a bit hard over. I dont know if it's just me. But I thought that.

Maybe change it too: You will maybe know or not, who knows
It is just a suggestion, not an order. Please get me right here.

I love the name Alana, I have also a draft of an story in which I have a girl called Alan. but the unique thing about your story is that she is an mermaid. Which is amazingly cool.

the beginning
ring! Ring! I rushed into homeroom. In case you're curious, I'm also a mermaid, just like Leena. Got that down? Yeah? Soooo.... I sat down on a rock in Underwater Academy. the grand mage's daughter is so lucky, not going to school here. I thought. doesn't have to deal with stupid Chloe. Jerk, she is.

Alas! Mrs. Algae swished into the room. I was the last person in the class, but she didn't seem to notice. She wrote on the board. Math. That's what she wrote. Just to be clear.

"Now," She said. "Jimmy John has 11 coconuts-" Vinny giggled. Inappropriate. "and lily has 7. Floboshmooz-" Mrs. Algae seemed to be running out of hypothetical names for her word problems, I noticed. "Comes and takes 4. How many do they all have?"

Chloe's hand shot up into the air at maximum speed. "Jimmyjohnhas9andlilyhas 5!" She yelled, her mouth moving at the speed of a race car. "Correct!" Mrs. Algae said happily. Wow, Chloe was such a teacher's pet. I thought in annoyance.

For real, this is classssssss.

I am so glad you made this whole class thingy so realistic like how it goes in real class. THis part ewas very relatable and amusing which gives your story an only more and more lively aka realistic feeling.

Great job!

Awesome your made up names too, like: Algae and Floboshmooz
I really like them and think they are amazing.

during lunch
During lunch me, Makenzie, Quinn and This (yeah that's her real name ha-ha.) were all eating lunch at our usual table. I had a sandwich. "So, the test's today, wanna come to our house and study?" I asked This and Makenzie. They both nodded until-

"Thanks, but no thanks!" Chloe swam over, being a JERK. She smiled like a JERK. She had hair like a JERK. She talked like a JERK. She was a JERK. A BIG ONE, TOO. "I'm paying someone to do my test!" She said proudly. WHAT A JERK'S IDEA, I decided.

"We STOPPED doing THAT, CHLOE." said someone and a mermaid Clara swam over- wait, she was doing that?! Doing Chloe's test? "what do you mean, stopped?!?!?" Chloe screamed, like a JERK. What a Slay Queen, I thought. And not in a good way, either. A BAD WAY.

What????? No way, she makes someone make her test! That is a freakin' Slay Queen. I thought she knew every answer and would top the test totally, but this. No, this I had not expected.

Amazing job about the studiying together, thats also a thing that happens mostly in real life. I really like it, that you put real life relatable stuff in the story.

You have a very nice writing style too, your paragraphs are not to long neither short. They are easy-readable and amazinggggg!

at home
I got home with a pile of homework. Mother, who was on the phone, putting on her makeup, stopped. "Is that homework, I see?!" She asked. "Who gave you both that much?!"

"Uh Mrs. Algae." I said. I didn't have that much homework............................ Okay, yes I did. Mother gaped and stopped her call to call my teacher.

"Yes, er, this is Alaina's Mother, you gave her too much homework.............. wait what? OKAY, WELL I NEVER, OH MY GOSH-" She turned off her phone and said, " what a rude woman!" She swam to the kitchen and started making dinner. Father was reading the newspaper in the corner, and then he gasped and dropped it. "WHAT IS IT?!" Quinn asked and swam over.

"You know 'atlantis,' right? Some people say that human have uncovered it!" he said.

I dropped my pile of homework.

ALso so true! True facts here with the tons of homework. Sometime I wish I could ask my pillow to help me with my homework

(*Me asking my pillow: "What do you think Piley? Are you goin' do my homework from today on?" No response. Wait, imma ask my spider under my bed in his cobweb. "What about you Spidey?" He blinked two times I suppose that means: "No, but I'll keep you company." That's nice, Thanks Spidey.)

Okay, back to reviewing!

The fact that you made the mom call the teacher is great! That is not something that happens every day, so its sweet. The fact that the mother even calls that teacher a rude woman is funny.

Ohhhh noooohhhhh: Did the humans just found out Atlantis exist?
This can only mean one thing, horror, horror and more horror.

I wonder where you will take things next! This was just amazing!

~ Rinisha