Kaylee was sitting in her gigantic neon-pink castle and had her one dog, Twinkle Toez, chill with Princess Paws. Twinkle Toez was barking and yapping, because Twinkle Toez always acted like she drank half a gallon of coffee each day. Princess Paws brooded and stared at the door, while it was raining.
Kaylee's castle was ginormous, and the living room (where they were) was fancy enough. It had five couches a front desk, and a 9-gallon fish tank. She had these fancy purple pillars set up for the dogs to squish themselves into. Kaylee was busy preparing another dognapping heist while the three maids that were on duty right then, (Kaylee had over 25 maids overall) were shining her shoes/fanning her/fluffing her hair/giving her a mani-pedi. Kaylee's designer galaxy flip phone pro suddenly rang, and the sound of a crappy pop song with the singing sounding like someone stepped on a cat stepped on by heels ran out across the room. The maids cringed and Kaylee motioned for the hair-fluffing maid to pick it up, because Kaylee could not go get it herself, lest her nail polish might smear.
"Ye-e-es?" Kaylee asked in an obnoxious tone. She shooed the maids off to make her cookies, and was about to sit down back on the couch when Princess Paws obnoxiously rolled over, taking up the maximum space she could. Kaylee lightly pushed Princess Paws farther down the couch, then used her as a backrest, smashing her into the cold wall uncomfortably.
"Oh, HIIII peachy babes!" said one of Kaylee's obnoxious friends. Kaylee clapped happily and said, "Oh, hey Girlypop! You slay today!" Kaylee yelled.
"Obv, BFF! So, ya wanna have a tea party today and re-watch High school musical for the one hundredth and seventeenth time?" asked Peachy Babes.
"Sors, Slay Queen, but my new butler is coming today!" said Kaylee. Twinkle Toez barked ominously and un-shined Kaylee's shoes, and she gave the dog an evil glance. "shut up, dog," she said.
"What's the butler's name?" asked Peachy Babes.
"I dunno, he's just a butler to me, Bestie!" said Kaylee. Suddenly the doorbell ringed, and the butler walked in, being let in with one of the maids. Security, Princess Paws thought.
The butler looked like an unattractive teen with a gigantic unibrow. "HEY!" said the butler.
"Ya don't look like a butler- see ya, slay queen! remember, fries before guys! Call you back later!-" said Kaylee.
"Get that a lot," the teen grunted. Kaylee walked over to a random table and said, "You'll be staying here for the rest of your life, until I say so," said Kaylee. The butler nodded. Twinkle Toez whined again.
"I got my butler, just like you said," said Kaylee, calling Peachy Babes, AKA Slay queen.
"Okay, see ya soon, Girlypop!" said Peachy Babes, and hung up.
"YOU!" said Kaylee, glaring at Twinkle Toez. "Go to your room!"
Twinkle Toez sadly squished herself in between the fish tank and a purple column. The butler cackled quietly like an evil villain.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Hey fox, Icy here for a quick review!
I have had a quick scan of the previous two parts, and I love the fun and slightly silly tone you're using for this novel. The characters being over dramatised versions of themselves is fun to read and it's a great vehicle for all the chaos!
Only a couple of nitpicks
Remember to start a new line whenever someone new speaks! I think this was both Kaylee and her friend?
This paragraph was super long, and it disrupts your easy to read narrative. I'd separate it up into two or three separate ones.
I'm not sure if you're intending to have an actual plot here, or just lots of separate scenes but I'm struggling to figure out where this is going. I think the characters and the tone are great and it's fun enough to read without a plot, but if there is one I think more hints towards what's going on could be helpful!
Thanks for sharing!
Icy
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Thanks%uD83D%uDE03 this is super confusing and stuff, I know.
Ok, someone call the cops before I lose my sh-
Honestly, made me really mad, poor dogs. I’m a dog person (and owner) so it always makes me feel angry when I see animal cruelty and stuff like that. Other than the poor dogs, I liked it. I also feel like the butler is going to go commit mass murder at the drop of a penny for some reason.
Great story, hope the dogs get a chance to run away.
thanks! (ha-ha, what a coincidence, you're right about the butler!) :0