The only light is a tiny candle. It glows silently on a table top. The fireplace is empty and the only warmth comes from a tiny spark. She shivers on the seat with her feet off the ground. Her sleeveless shirt is thin and is not made for such temperature. She is tired and her body aches. She no longer has any energy left in her to stop the cold. If only he had given her some time to rest. There were already bruises around her arms and legs. She wishes that this is all gone. She wishes that this is simply a dream that has gone wrong.
“Here, this will keep you warm.” She opens her eyes as a warm thick blanket was place over her shoulders. She sees a large man kneeling over the fireplace. He tries to start a fire. The first spark of firewood is already helping her keep warm.
‘You, idiot, you could have died of hypothermia.” He said seriously not looking at her.
“I am sorry.” She simply said with her head down. She has great respect for that man and she never tried to question him against his commands. Without him, she could have died years ago.
‘No need to apologize, you can pay me back with tomorrow’s practice. And you definitely must improve! Today’s practice was useless!” he glares at her with the looks of a strict teacher. She simply looks at him, nods and gazes at the wooden sword on top of the table beside the dying candle.
‘Here take this,” he takes a small wrapping from his pocket and tosses it to her. She catches it and opens it. She did not predict that he would give her a present. Why would he give her a present if she did badly?
She was surprise by what she saw inside. There was a dozen of tofu wrap in one gentle plastic. It is her favorite food and the simple glance at it already makes her stomach growl. She begins eating forgetting to thank her guardian.
“Eat, slowly, I do not want you to throw up tomorrow.” He said as he sits down on a wooden chair opposite her. He closes his eyes and he tries to rest his aching body. She is not the only one whose body needs rest. It is raining heavily outside and there is no way he could fix the broken fences outside. He simply takes this as an opportunity to rest. There is more work to be done tomorrow once the weather clears out.
“Mister…” the girl shyly said.
“I have a name you know. I told you to call me Amidaro.” He said with his eyes still close. He can feel that she was feeling a little depress again by that compliment.
‘Amidaro-san, do you want some? I am sorry that I have finished the rest of them.” He opens his eye and he sees one piece of tofu on the table with its plastic still covering it. He looked at it for a short moment before he pushes it aside and looks at her with that cold stare.
‘I do not want to be pitied. I brought this for you and it is you who must eat it. Do you get it? I am already too old to be pitied. Look at you; you cannot even survive this place for a single day without me.”
She stared at him for a while before looking at another direction. “I am sorry; I was just thinking that I could repay you for that time.”
“That was 2 years ago. You are practically a teenager know and yet you behaved like a child. If I were to say something, the only thing you can pay me back is to work harder on your training. You just do not know what will happen in this place. We are no longer living in reality. We do not know where we are and it best to try at least to understand this place rather than sitting and do nothing. Do you understand me?”
She nods.
‘Good, now eat that before I’ll feed it to the fire.”
She follows his order and takes the tofu off the table and begins eating it. Amidaro resumed sleeping. There was no other sound apart from the rain outside.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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it was awesome

the detail in night rain was so vivid that i felt I was actually there. the charecter were so strong and 3d I felt i knew them personally, and whatever world you were portraying was so interesting I was drawn in within the first paragraph. other than a few grammar mistakes with tenses (like surprise-surprised, or close-closed) i thought very well written, and did I mention awesome! I have but it really is, i can't wait to hear more.
Later