The moon gazes down at her own body reflected back off of the calm waters of a lake down below. She took in the image- her image. She took in her fullness with a sort of shocked disbelief. How had she grown so round and not realized it? She frowned down at the lake pondering how she could have returned to her former state of obesity, how she could even be allowed to fill the sky and illuminate the night with such a dreadful appearance?
She resolved to change this. She would not become like the sun, whose full round shape was so appalling that you couldn't look for too long, no she would become a slender figure that people would enjoy gazing upon. She would turn herself into something magical, a true wonder.
She began to starve herself.
She focused everything in her towards the ocean. Losing herself in the changing of the tides, the rising and falling, as if the ocean was a living thing and this was its way of breathing. Her obsession with the ocean was the only thing that distracted her from her body that was slowly feeding off of itself. She began to cave in on herself, her body half curled over but she endured the pain if it meant she could be a beauty that could be compared to her beloved, majestic oceans.
Then, one night she grew so thin that light could not find any surface to reflect itself off of. That night when she gazed down to her ocean she couldn't see it for the thick darkness. With horror she realized that without her glow illuminating the earth that the ocean and its beauty were hidden from her. In a moment of clarity that night she realized she had done this to herself. It was her responsibility to keep the darkness at bay, to keep it from taking over and in her self hatred she removed the parts of her that were most valuable.
She decided to give into her hunger and put an end to this suffering she put herself through because of vanity. She began to grow back to her previous fullness, slowly and without her being completely aware. Without her being aware of the fact that she was still obsessed with her reflection; the reflection of herself in the ocean she loved, whose swelling and shrinking she had mistaken for the beauty in breathing life. Just as the oceans tides cycle over and over in a never ending loop, she too was caught in forever loving the ocean and hating herself. She was caught in forever waning and waxing along with the tides rise and fall.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
First of all, I really liked this story. It was short and simple, but conveyed a good message. I can really feel the emotions in the piece, and the personification is so good you almost forget the story is about the moon. I like how you wrote about the moon's insecurity, which I think is relatable to a lot of people who feel insecure about themselves. I also like the message about eventual body acceptance, but still keep the lingering insecurity.
Happy Writing!
All in all, I really liked this piece and didn't have anything bad to say about it at all
I love pieces of work done by artists with powerful messages. What I really liked about this was that you told it like a fairy tale. It was written in a simple way to get to the purpose of the story, but the overall moral made its point without any unnecessary parts to take away from the original idea.
I also liked how you made it relatable to so many people. Body image issues are something everyone goes through at one point in their lives and I think it's important to talk about it and write things like this to make this topic more important. And, you made the explanation for her so realistic in the end. Keeping to the idea that the moon continues to change, going back and forth reflects how in life we change so often for ourselves (or others).
The only thing I would like to add/change (even though I think this is a really well written piece that doesn't necessarily need change), is the line 'She began to starve herself'. It's a very powerful line and I like how you used it. But, personally, I wouldn't have used that line. Only because if I were going in a similar direction of writing this as a fairy tale (if that was your intention or not), I would have been more vague about what she changes. Though, with fairy tales, you could be unrealistic or realistic in some ways. I know it's not very helpful of me to say that and then not give an example, but I thought I'd tell you so if you wish to change anything, that could be something. But, I think it's fine the way it is and I don't think that line is unnecessary or not good.
I really did enjoy reading this short little piece here and hope that you keep writing!
Hey there, it's me here to review!
Okay, first off... Wow. Just wow.
Just had to let that out, sorry. Anyways, let's start for real now, shall we?
I loved this. I loved the personification you gave the moon. I absolutely could feel the emotion from her through this piece. And the qualities you gave her were so relatable and I see exactly what happened in this piece every day.
In my eyes, the moon was like many very insecure girls out there nowadays. Girls that aren't comfortable with their bodies and are willing to do anything to change themselves and earn the acceptance of others.
The ocean, was the mirror. The mirror that these insecure girls wake up to everyday and look at their reflection and wonder why they aren't enough and wonder what they can do to make themselves better. It's this mirror that these girls become obsessed with and basically fall in love with.
So moon equals girl, and ocean equals mirror right? Well then the story really begins I guess you could say.
In falling in love with the ocean/mirror, it then becomes almost a romantic figure. And the moon/girl quite literally gives away parts of herself to please the mirror/ocean, when in reality she's fallen in love with an image she's created of herself in this mirror.
Eventually she starts realizing she isn't beautiful like this, and that she's hurting herself and she isn't her old self anymore. She then decides to give into her temptations, but in the process regains her old figure. And in the end, she falls in love with the image inside the mirror/ocean and it all begins over again.
That's just my perspective on your piece, and what you could be trying to say is something entirely different, but right now the meaning behind it all is just beautiful. It perfectly embodies self-hatred and love and what anyone will do to feel beautiful or please everyone else.
Keep up the amazing work, this was a beautiful piece.