z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

What Happened to the Dragons?

by felistia


The tavern was bustling with people that evening. Beer glasses clanged together and the air in the pub was heavy with the smell of cigar smoke. An old man sat in the far corner of the room, stroking his grey beard. In front of him sat little wooden figures. The carvings of dragons and unicorns, their dull wooden eyes staring out over the laughing men and women.

The tavern door opened and the old man looked up. A little girl and her parents walked in. She gave a shout of excitement when her eyes caught on the little wooden figures in front of the old man. He smiled and waved at her. The little girl looked up at her mother with big eyes and pointed at the wooden carvings. Looking up, the mother nodded when she saw them. With a whoop of joy the little girl skipped over to the old man and stood staring into the hard wooden eyes of a dragon.

The old man beckoned for her to sit down on the faded seat next to him. Smiling the little girl sat next to him, her eyes still trained on the figure of a roaring dragon.

“Would you like to hear a story about what happened to dragons?” asked the old man, picking the roaring dragon up and placing it gently in the girl’s hands. She stroked the dragon and nodded enthusiastically.

“Well,” he began, “It all started a long, long time ago. Back when the earth was young, dragons soared over the bright, blue sky and unicorns galloped across the lush landscape. Mighty phoenixes painted the skies gold with their flaming wings and the songs of flying whales filled the air. It was a time of peace, where all the magical creatures lived under the command of one single species; the dragons. The dragons ruled the land with strong wings and wise hearts. The land flourished and the creatures thrived, happy under their leaders' command.

Then one fateful day, a ship from a strange land came to rest upon the animals' pearl white beaches. Billowing sails streamed from the vessel's masts like great silver dragon wings and small creatures scurried around on the deck of the ship. These creatures were men, but the dragons did not know this. They thought they were just another type of animal; one they’d never seen before.

The dragons welcomed these strange creatures into their land, showing them the sparkling blue rivers and fruit bearing trees, but these were greedy men. They did not see the fruit or the clear waters. They only saw the gold in the phoenixes’ wings and the silver on the dragons’ scales. They wanted the soft silk of the unicorns’ manes and the diamond spray from the flying whales.

Before long, the men were hunting the creatures, taking their burning orange feathers or bright silver scales. More men landed with their great ships, the sails now black as the tears shed by the creatures. Fire blotted the land as the trees died and the rivers ran dry.

Seeing what had become of their beautiful kingdom, the dragons called a meeting of all the magical creatures. The dragons told them to flee to all the four corners of the earth. To go into hiding, until man was no more. So the creatures fled, the unicorns to the open ocean and the whales to the heavens. The phoenixes dove into the earth’s fiery depths and the dragons soared up into the highest reaches of the sky.”

The old man sighed and sank back in his chair as the little girl looked up at him with big eyes.

“So you see my child, it is our fault that the dragons and all the other magical creatures disappeared. They’re not gone, they’re just in hiding, watching, waiting for the right time to reveal themselves again.”

The little girl stared down at the roaring dragon in her hands and touched its dull wooden scales. A small tear ran down her cheek.

“But,” started the old man again, much to the little girl’s surprise, “if you look really hard , you can see them. You can see the orange phoenix when the earth decides to open her mouth and lets the flaming red bird shoot up into the smoky sky, his feathers falling as sparks upon the land. Stare out at the foaming peaks of an ocean wave. You will see them, the unicorns as they ride the white crests. Maybe if you watch the stars at night you’ll see the diamond spray of a whale cross the swirling heavens. And maybe, just maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll see the shape of a fierce dragon as he crosses the face of the sun for a few fleeting seconds.”

The little girl smiled and hugged the dragon in her hands. Her mother walked up to them and beckoned the little girl to come to her. The girl stared down longingly at the dragon grasped in her hands and gently placed it back on the table with the others.

“No,” whispered the old man, his wise eyes twinkly, “Here, you keep it. Remember, never forget that story and maybe, if you believe, you’ll see a dragon.”

The girl leaned over and gave him a hug, before returning to her mother, clasping the roaring dragon in her hands.


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15 Reviews


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Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:17 am
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Cyvain87 says...



This is a very powerful piece and I love it! The way you have the old man telling the tale and the young girl listening make it all the better. It feels just the natural way of such a tale to be told. The addition of the little wooden figure is so cute too. Love this piece alot well done!




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Mon May 01, 2017 7:24 pm
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DragonNoir wrote a review...



I. Absolutely. LOVE IT!! I think this story is very beautiful and effective in every way, shape and form. This is perfect for a much longer story and I personally would use this idea to make it into a great novel. I like how well you managed to create a story resembling a fairy tale/folk myth. I also like the language used to describe everything; it painted a very vivid picture for me! I only managed to spot one mistake, which is a missing comma, and I also think that you could use alternative words to make the story even more vivid. Overall, just beautiful.




felistia says...


Thank you. :D

I got the idea from the Water Horse movie. :D



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35 Reviews


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Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:13 am
MrMuddyPig says...



I will Find Out What Happened In How To Train Your Dragon 3. Lol. Nice Story thou.




felistia says...


ha ha



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Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:21 pm
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erilea says...



I love it. Just love it.

:D




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Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:39 am
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KaBooomm wrote a review...



I love how this story sounds so much lie a fairy-tale!! I can feel the magical vibes!! The atmosphere building is very good. I can actually picture the entire scene unfolding.

Although I feel that the little girl's attention abruptly went to the 'little wooden figures'. Especially since you've mentioned that they're 'little', which would make it hard to immediatley notice the dragons. I'd suggesting building up this part a bit more.

I love the magical tone of the story of the dragons! Especially the description of all the magical creatures. I like how all you've switched up the hiding places of all the creatures. I think it adds more to the magical make-believe world you've built.

It bugs me how the little girl is mute. It'd be interesting to know what the girl thought of the story or to hear a few questions about the story from her.

I hope I was helpful!




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Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:19 am
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JosephGeorge wrote a review...



Hey, here for a Review Day review!

Impressions: Nice little fable with a children's story feel to it. I'm sure my little cousins would love this, especially if it had some sweet pictures to go along with it.

I like the classic fantasy feel and the originality of bringing in humans to destroy the dragons. It's usually the opposite.

Advice:

Beer glasses clanged together


Lol, this one is funny because I actually pictured them "clanging" their glasses together, and was really surprised when they didn't all break and they just kept on drinking. Obvious how to fix.

The first two paragraphs seem really long, and very blocky. You have one of those, "he did...and then she did...and then he did..." patterns going, and it gets old fast, which means I was turned off after reading only a few sentences.

It also feels a little, advanced, for the type of reader that would enjoy reading it. You pound out a long list of big adjectives, and those are hard things for younger minds to pick up on. It might be confusing to them.

Overall, it was simple, and fun. Not too bad, but definitely has some room to make some improvements.

I give it:
ImageImageImage


Review 002/100




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Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:34 am
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mellifera wrote a review...



Hello felistia! Inky here, ready for reviewing!

I just want to say, that I have no real nitpicking for this, but this story really drew me in and I did really want to write a review, so I'll try my best!

I love the whole concept of this story. It's so beautiful and so sad, listening to the idea of how all the mythical creatures were forced to go into hiding. The only thing that really sort of sounds odd, if that both the whales and dragons fled to the skies? Perhaps it's just me, but it just loses the 'four corners' concept of this.

And then I'd like to ask about the whales. I know that they're flying whales and therefore 'mythical', but wouldn't they have gone to the sea to become just...whales? Please forgive me if I'm missing something, but that doesn't exactly make sense to me.

I think that's all for 'nitpicking', but I just love this story. Storytelling was a huge part of my childhood and this is the kind of story that just really makes you (or at least me) feel all warm and fuzzy.
Of course, I'd love a story set in this created universe, but I don't know if you actually would ever do that. And as always, I'm a sucker for fantasy stories like this, so this just tickled all my happy reader places (metaphorically. sorry if this sounds extremely odd).

Overall, it's a lovely story and I do look forward to reading more works of yours. Have a lovely day/evening!

-inky :)





She conquered her demons and wore her scars like wings.
— Atticus