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E - Everyone

I Believe

by fallenoutofgrace

A/N I think I might continue this into a full fan-fic, it would help if you left your thoughts on continuing this in your comments. I'd really love to hear y'all thoughts.

Time stood still as the frozen tendrils of artic frost nipped at Jack’s nose. Confused eyes stared up at the glistening moon searching for answers that would never come.

“Why do you do this? Why can you tell me who I was? Why you chose me?” he demanded, his voice escalating as anger took course through his veins. His ears listened once again with silence; the man in the moon has abandon him once again.

“You know, you and I, we are the same.” A voice echoed behind him.

Like the north wind he spun around glaring at the disembodied voice, relaxing a bit when he saw Pitch. He was supposed to be the enemy, someone you despise before ever meeting.

“How are we? You’re the monster! You caused everything!” he seethed, remembering the look on sandman’s face before he died. He’s the enemy. He’s nothing else.

Pitch smirked, his fangs barely visible, his long cloak floating effortlessly above the frozen ground soft footsteps coming closer and closer.

“No, you only know of what the guardians told you. I know what you feel, about wanting to be believed in; about wishing for hundreds of years for someone to see you.” He stated gently.

“I also know that I have never lied to you Jack, the guardians yes but I have always told you the truth no matter how bad.”

Jack glared all his pent up anger exploding into shards of ice assaulting Pitch mercilessly. The dance began between the two darkness and cold colliding with one another in flurries of elegant moves. Ragged breaths escaped Jack as the anger left like the winter frost, slowly at first then all at once.

Pitch breathed catch as he looked at what they created together.The beauty surpassed all the roses and crystal ice on the entire world, he saw together they were whole.

A tender hand touched Jack’s shoulder, such as a long lost friend. Jack moved looking to Pitch, his staff held deflecting.

“ We are the same,” he said simply, moving to grab Jack’s staff pulling out, the black sand that manifest his nightmares, pure darkness rose and fell before crackling into its long forgotten form of an aged staff.

Jack looked to him in wonder, confused. Maybe all he knew from the guardians were wrong. They only told him Pitch was fear, but what’s the cold and the chill without the darkness to follow the light. Then it happened, the warm comfort as Pitch’s arm wrapped around him looking down his signature smirk took a warmer edge than before.

“Believe in me, like I believe in you Jack.” He said; his voice when once filled with sharpened anger now only held the melting charm of the snow.

Jack looked seeing this side of Pitch he knew he was wrong, all he knew about this mysterious figure could be wrong. Suddenly, his voice echoed through the silent artic.

“I believe in you”

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86 Reviews

Points: 1287
Reviews: 86

Sun Dec 28, 2014 1:16 am
WaltzingDreams wrote a review...

Hey, Sybil here!

I'm not much of a RoTG fan, but I can really appreciate this fan fic. I've written some fan fics of my own and I'd liked to say that this one was an intriguing one. You weren't being specific in your description and in the story itself (or I may just have misunderstood, pardon me for that if I had). Are you pairing them?! Somehow I could sense that sort of chemistry, but don't worry, I am neutral with yaoi. :)

I know this was a one shot, but I suggest that you mention when this takes place :) I mean the part before this part. It would help with more insights from Jack. And really, what is the difference between this fic and the others out there? You've merely given a certain scene but what is the twist? (if not that they're a ship) I liked how you ended it with a cliffhanger, by the way!

I think you should develop this. It had a good start and you seem like a great writer. Perfect combination! :)

Keep it up! Keep on dreaming!
-Sybil (WaltzingDreams)

Thanks and your advice helps a lot this was my first time doing this so any advice helps :)

User avatar
68 Reviews

Points: 3129
Reviews: 68

Sun Dec 28, 2014 1:14 am
ka67 wrote a review...

Hey! I'm gonna write the best review I possibly can.

So, for starters, I have not seen the guardian movie(But i know I need too!) and I have no idea who Pitch is but I'm gonna go on as if I do!

I love the descriptions here. You have a lot of detail and you make me see the images instead of just saying them. There is a ton of imagery and I love the words you use to create the images. So much color and beauty while, at the same time, leaving room for the imagination of the reader to create its own beauty.

There are a couple of typos, such as...
"...his long cloak floating effortlessly above the frozen ground soft footsteps coming closer and closer." you forget a comma of even trying to start a new sentence here. It is a very long sentence of you put a space instead of writing say...."his long cloak floating effortlessly above the ground as his soft footsteps approached."
"Pitch breathed catch" is not an accurate use of tense. Maybe change it to "Pitch's breath caught"

Now, there are certain parts where you get a bit confusing in the descriptions like...
shards of ice assaulting Pitch mercilessly. The dance began between the two darkness and cold colliding with one another in flurries of elegant moves. " You just kind of assume that they are doing something like dancing. Maybe change it to make it seem like a battle, as elegant as dancing but the collision of darkness and cold exploding in flurries of light to expose the graceful moves.

"moving to grab Jack’s staff pulling out, the black sand that manifest his nightmares," is a very confusing sentence, because it makes him seem like he's stealing JAcks staff(I know later that he isnt...I think) And making it his own with black sand that manifests his own nightmares...I don't know, its very confusing and I think is better to be revised

However,overall, I really adore the idea as this turning into a whole Fanfic, because it has so much potential and amazing imagery and such. I really love the story you've created :)

Keep writing! I'd love to read more!

thanks and you helped a lot, by far best review ever

You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer