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by envy

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830 Reviews

Points: 147
Reviews: 830

Sat Oct 07, 2023 12:12 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I like the descriptive words in the poem. How you describe the pure elation of true love. The first time with romance is always the sweetest, the most cherished. It is wished to last forever, without ever fail, without ever faltering.

I have enjoyed reading this poem that you have written.

I hope that you will have a very beautiful, lovely, and fantastic day and night. Goodbye for right at this moment.

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193 Reviews

Points: 27944
Reviews: 193

Fri Oct 06, 2023 5:00 pm
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AmayaStatham wrote a review...

Trick or Write, curious mind

Rinisha is back here and ready to review 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause this is going to be a bumpy ride. I’m going to keep it short alright!✨

All in all

This party rocked, let's take a quick look!

I saw that you joined YWS quite recently, so welcome! Secondly, you have a knack for poetry, I must say. That was a very nice poem, great title too. The meaning of the poem is strong and really true to life. I love the vibe it gives you, it gives me a rainy day vibe.

Your title is very light-hearted and open-minded. It is as clear as a raindrop, which is what made me click on this poem in the first place. I am not a poet, but poems like this catch my eye. I would definitely recommend you to keep writing and improving your skills.

You could work on:✒️

Firstly, I love your title, but I think it would be much nicer without the THE in front of the words. It gives the title more feeling and emotion that way. The THe makes it seem a little to strict.

Secondly, I think you should try and work on making longer poems. This one is nice and short, but two or three more stanzas won't hurt anyone.

Be sure to check out…📔🔖

By @EsmerayaRose, @Liminality and @starshipgirl

These authors have written some very nice poems, specialising in depth, structure and emotion. Not to mention realistic and fantastical themes. So if you can learn or get inspiration from anywhere, I would definitely check out some poems by them.

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉


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1222 Reviews

Points: 144392
Reviews: 1222

Mon Oct 02, 2023 3:03 am
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alliyah says...

loving your poetry style! <3

"i bore you my soul in a jar /
soaking in jasmine tea, no perfume, /
disintegrating in thick devotion"

<3 ^^ These lines especially hit!

You've got great imagery and just the right succinctness. Would love to hear your rationale for not putting spaces in the title - is it to show an over-closeness?

envy says...

thank you so much :) im glad those lines hit the hardest; they were my inspiration for actually writing the poem.

to answer your question, i dont think its anything specific to the poetry itself. im just a fan of breaking conventions when it comes to writing. thats why i use minimal punctuation & no caps as well. theres also some aesthetic appeal tbh, i think it looks interesting.

thank you again, it means a lot :)

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.
— Franz Kafka