It's always the ones closest to us
That hurt us the most
We naturally don't trust strangers,
we distance ourselves from them.
And before we get close,
They show their true selves
But some people were always there
You always thought their narcissism was strength,
You mistake their angry outbursts as regular emotions,
That you must cater to.
Or some people stick themselves to you like a leach.
They drain your energy and happiness like blood,
then tell you it was your fault for straying from the shore
Eventually, it will all come tumbling down
You'll eventually pass out from blood loss,
The dam will break and
you won't be able to look at them with anything but distaste
You will contemplate how you possibly missed it
And how obvious it was,
Because after all, it's the ones closest to us
that hurt us the most
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Thank you for sharing today. I will write a quick review.
This poem is clearly a rather personal one; the evidence being how you insert yourself into the poem with pronouns like "us" and "ourselves" and so on. I believe that the language is rather rudimentary, but that is not a bad thing in the case of a personal poem. In fact, I believe that the aforementioned can be redeemed through your use of similes throughout the poem.
For example,
"Or some people stick themselves to you like a leach. / They drain your energy and happiness like blood, then tell you it was your fault for straying from the shore."
The subject matter is so abstract that it can be difficult for us, as writers and poets, to truly encapsulate what it means or how we can explain it to others. Despite that, I believe you have a good grasp of the concept. You have a talent for painting a picture through phrases, which will help us readers understand not only the meaning behind the poem, but we may understand you a little better too.
LCP ⭑
Thanks for the review!
Hi Dossereana here to do a review, okay let's get right into it shell we. Also my spelling with some words isn't that good so really sorry if you are struggling to read the review because of it.
I loved how you started this off, there is such emotion mixed into all of this. such heart felt feelings rolling with all of it. I really hope that you are okay, I no that when I write a poem like this, it's mostly when there's something going on in my life that's caused it. So I really hope that your doing alright and everything's okay, if you need to talk to anyone, my PM box is always open, I won't judge you.
These first lines are so true, I can feel it and I can see all of this in my head just coming to gather. It's just making this heap of emotion form on this page of art.
Okay I can't hold it in anymore, for some reason this just feels like my life has been put into words. It's amazing how much it's touching me inside. There's so much going on, and it just sounds like this person is struggling so much with maybe there best friends or her family and relatives.
I don't see anything wrong or anything that needs to have a little fixing with this poem, it's wonderful and it touched my heart in such an emotion way. So I guess that's it for now, PM me if you ever want to talk. <33
Keep writing the great work, and I look forward to reading more from you, never stop writing emilyrebecca.
I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.
@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement
Sorry it%u2019s taken so long to reply, I took a bit of a brake from here. Thank you for the review and I hope your ok as well as you are the one who relates. I have no plans to stop writing and I would so love to have more of your feedback.