The Things I Could Write About

by elephantwalrus

Published March 15, 2008

In Before I was 16: Poetry

The Things I Could Write About

Must I awake and wallow writer’s block?
For nothing was inspiring all of yesterday;
I looked and I found myself staring at a clock,
Though clucking nearby, eggs did white geese lay.
Maybe I shall write of warriors past
With muscles of marble, and will force of steel,
Or of beauty that my poems shall make last
In words alone, but still realistic and real;
Like the droppings of horses in neat little clumps,
Or the frozen bugs found on fresh produce.
I shall write of sausages, so pleasantly plump,
All good topics are these, I have no excuse,
So my face is shining and I give no care
As I dunk my head in a Green Eclair.

If anyone can find a common theme in this, I will be very impressed :)

Comments & reviews · 11
User avatar
SilverQuill Comment
SilverQuill commented Comment · Apr 7, 2008

This is such a fun poem! The rhythm could use a bit of work, as could the rhyme scheme, but I love it. The way it skips around so much fits it really well.

mirandamaddness wrote a review Review · Apr 6, 2008

A common theme here could be:

'indecision' or

'boredom' or

'what everyone thinks about but never actually says anything when the randomly burst out laughing in front of their friends'...

that one was long... :D

User avatar
Nightfall
Comment
Nightfall commented Comment · Apr 6, 2008

This was pretty fantastic. It was truly an entertaining read! The rhythm was a bit wonky, but it was still really easy to read and I liked it. Good stuff!

~Nightfall

Writing for love is a pas commented Comment · Apr 5, 2008

I like nonsense poetry... i can actually understand it!!

oneeyedunicornhunter wrote a review Review · Apr 5, 2008

ha! pretty good. it made me laugh, at least. i don't call it writer's block, though. i call it 'periods of absolutely no inspiration whatsoever'. because it's such a long sentence, my brain usually doesn't bother thinking it. then i forget that i have writers block and continue to write. oh, and one more piece of writer's block advice(though u really dont appear to need it...i hope im not wasting your time), don't try to force it! i just write down whatever good(aka: wacky) ideas i have and see if it works.

whew. my hands are tired :wink:

User avatar
elephantwalrus
Comment
elephantwalrus commented Comment · Apr 4, 2008

Hooray! Thanks for the reviews. I shall keep those in mind as I edit this poem and write more nonsense poetry. :D

User avatar
coryab222
Review
coryab222 wrote a review Review · Mar 23, 2008

That was such a fun poem! I actually really loved the randomness of it. It was a very original idea, and the topics within it were nicely chosen. Some where whimsical, others serious.

"In words alone, but still realistic and real:"


I would change either realistic or real to a different word, as they really mean the same thing and together they do not add anything new to the poem.

Well, good job!

SimonCowellLuver wrote a review Review · Mar 15, 2008

You are a good writer. Not bad what you got here. I only found one mistake which is...
Or of beauty that my poems shall make last
In words alone, but still realistic and real;

You need some kind of punctionuation like a period which you need there anyway.

That is pretty much what i saw wrong with it. If you have any kind of questions feel free to PM me at anytime.

TTYL SimonCowellLuver

User avatar
Kepe
Comment
Kepe commented Comment · Mar 15, 2008

Hmmm, well I liked the theme, and I did like some of your mental images, however I kinda thought it was poorly written because of the lack of flow and the inconsistent rhyme scheme. I think it has the potential to be good, but I think it needs work.

User avatar
Corvin Vandra
Review
Corvin Vandra wrote a review Review · Mar 15, 2008

That's truly remarkable. I loved it. I'm ashamed to say I'm not here to impress you, for I can find no common theme. I just loved reading it. One quick thing. In the first line, "Must I awake and wallow writer's block?" Do you mean wallow IN writer's block? That just kind of caught my attention. Seriously though, that's an awesome poem.



Way, way back in the 1988 Presidential election, then Vice President George H W Bush had a phrase he liked to use: "A Thousand Points of Light." It refers to the idea that a community is made up of people who contribute in a thousand, different small ways, but with each helping to illuminate their community. It's a phrase I think about a lot when it comes to YWS. Looking forward, the site will continue to change and grow, but it will always remain a community dedicated to promoting creative writing as a favorite pastime.
— Nate