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Seven Deadly Sins -- Possible plot, can I get some opinions and suggestions pls and ty

by eilisBK


So I have a plot idea that was inspired by a Tumblr post I saw a while back.

Plot: A depressed man moves into an old house that is haunted by 7 demons that each represent one of the 7 deadly sins. At first they try and haunt him but soon realise that he is in a bad place and start to help him better himself ie. Lust helps him get a date, Pride helps him with self-esteem and self-confidence, Gluttony helps him cook better meals and he finds joy in it, Wrath helps him stand up for himself, Greed helps him get his finances in order and save money while also treating himself, Envy helps him follow his career dreams, and Sloth helps him relax.

Where I'm at right now (AKA main points I want): I want the story to start with the man in a therapy session. He has lost someone in his family and has received a tidy sum and inherited an old house. There's going to be a LI from work who he ends up with at the end but it has a rocky start etc. I also know that the demons are going to have like a demon form and a human form because there is 100% going to be a dinner party with parents or something (help with that pls) where they help him. I also know I want the ending to be him at another therapy session with the shrink telling him he has made massive improvement etc. etc.

HELP: So that's where I'm at right now. I would love some feedback and possible suggestions for other bits I could add to the story. TYSM!!!!!


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Thu Aug 05, 2021 1:23 am
TheTravelingWizard0926 wrote a review...



Hey! I remember seeing this prompt on writing prompts on Tumblr. I think it's a good idea for a short story or maybe a long-standing series. I enjoy the idea of it starting in a therapy session. This could give exposition on the man's life such as why he's there or tidbits about his life.
A suggestion that would be interesting would be if it was like a Beetlejuice like situation where maybe it can be comedic but, also with some life lessons or something. The demons could have wacky hijinks trying to figure out how to help this guy but, may or may not know how to help due to limited human interaction or maybe try to help the guy in a way that they might help themselves at first.
There's a lot of other ideas that could go with this plot but, I don't want to make a whole essay on it. I have a slightly similar series like this with the 7DS but, it's far from what the prompt is.
Hope you find some inspiration and some more ideas with this thread.

Sincerely, The TravelingWizard.
Keep your imagination strong!




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Mon Aug 02, 2021 6:20 am
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Plot: A depressed man moves into an old house that is haunted by 7 demons that each represent one of the 7 deadly sins. At first they try and haunt him but soon realise that he is in a bad place and start to help him better himself ie. Lust helps him get a date, Pride helps him with self-esteem and self-confidence, Gluttony helps him cook better meals and he finds joy in it, Wrath helps him stand up for himself, Greed helps him get his finances in order and save money while also treating himself, Envy helps him follow his career dreams, and Sloth helps him relax.

Where I'm at right now (AKA main points I want): I want the story to start with the man in a therapy session. He has lost someone in his family and has received a tidy sum and inherited an old house. There's going to be a LI from work who he ends up with at the end but it has a rocky start etc. I also know that the demons are going to have like a demon form and a human form because there is 100% going to be a dinner party with parents or something (help with that pls) where they help him. I also know I want the ending to be him at another therapy session with the shrink telling him he has made massive improvement etc. etc.


Okayy...well, first of all...in all the reviews I've ever written on YWS, this is potentially one of the first times I've run into just a plot idea in one of these works, but oh well, there is a first time for everything..xD

Anyway, getting to the actual review here. Alright, the plot. From a purely "How interesting this premise sounds" standpoint, I'd say this idea is a definite go, at least for me. It sounds like something I'd read at any rate. It could be very interesting to see things that are usually painted in a rather negative light being like the good guys for a change. It could definitely create some very interesting situations here.

Onto the things you mention would be in the story. I looove the idea of a dinner party, that could totally be absolutely hilarious and awesome if done right, and if you're going to make them have human forms, just to make that happen, I would not be complaining. This is all sounding quite awesome so far. The whole romance part having a rocky start before things get better sounds like a good plan too. I do love stories that take their time with things like that.

On the whole I'd say, absolutely go for it, this sounds like a pretty awesome idea. One thing I would say, is be quite careful when it comes to how fast you want to develop the character of our main character here. If you managed to build up the story of this person nice and slow, to really showcase how the demons end up helping this man come out of his depression here.

And well...I think that's about all I've gotta say here. I will end with a question though, what kind of genre are you planning to put this under. Is it going to be all serious themed or...I think the vibe I'm currently getting is that this is perhaps geared towards being relatively funny here?

Well, on that note, until next time :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




eilisBK says...


Hi Harry tysm this is super helpful! As for your question, I definitely want there to be some funny parts to this work, but as it is dealing with depression it will also be quite serious. I think it will mainly be a serious piece with funny bits sprinkled in rather than being mainly funny. :) And I totally get your concern with developing the MC too quickly. I'm doing some research right now on how to properly right about depression as I've never experienced it to the degree I'm going to right about. I also want to do some research on how depression gets better as I've never had it be long term but rather only come in episodes.



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!



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Sun Aug 01, 2021 9:11 pm
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RealSadhours296 wrote a review...



I really love this idea! Definitely think you should pursue it!

As for certain bits you could put in, here's my suggestion of a scenario for each of the deadly sins based on what you described you want them to do, among other things:

Lust: Fist date with the LI is going to happen today. Lust helps the main character freshen up, dress nice, and give them relationship advice for it.

Pride: Somehow, the main character gets heckled at work. Pride raises his confidence and feeds him compliments in the bathroom mirror.

Gluttony: I'd say this is early in the series. The main character has only eaten ramen noodles for three days straight. Gluttony teaches him the importance of a healthy, balanced diet and they go to the grocery store to actually by food.

Wrath: The heckler at work (who I think could be an antagonist of some sort if you want one) keeps pushing the main character's buttons. Wrath teaches him to stand up for himself and report the guy to his boss (whether the latter works or not is up to you).

Greed: The main character has been buying nothing but necessities for a long time, despite having plenty of money saved up to treat himself. Greed encourages him to buy something he likes within a reasonable budget, like a new video game, or maybe a basket ball, or a drawing kit. Something the main character wants to have fun with.

Envy: The main character has been working for a while, but hasn't got his deserved promotion yet unlike his fellow coworkers. Envy gives him the confidence and entitlement he needs to go up and ask his boss about it.

Sloth: The main character has been doing his work for a long, tiresome while. Sloth encourages him to take a break and relax to finish his work with a fresh perspective.

Are you going to name each of the demons based on the seven deadly sins demon names? Y'know, Lucifer (pride), Mammon (greed), Asmodeus (lust), Leviathan (envy), Beezlebub (gluttony), Satan (wrath), and Belphegor (Sloth). Are you going to use deadly sin symbolism in their appearance, such as colors and associated animals? How does heaven and hell work exactly? Is god all he's made out to be? Is the devil what he's made out to be? Is the setting a real life place or a made up city based on a real life place (san fransico in real life vs san fransokyo in big hero six.)? These are some of the general questions I have for you.

This might not be much help, but I hope it at least gives you inspiration of some sort. Keep up the good work!




eilisBK says...


TYSM!!!! This is so helpful!!! As for your questions, the plan was definitely to use the names of the demons based on the sins. In their demon form I would probably use aspects associated with the sins like colours etc but in their human form I will definitely include aspects but I want each demon to look as if they are from a different culture and for when they interact with other humans that don't know they are demons they would use different names like Mammon (who i plan to be a woman) would be Manon etc. But then possibly some of the demons just don't get the memo about the name thing and like one of them introduces themselves as Satan lol.




grammar is hard and i dislike it immensely
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