Shadow's Rising {Wing 3} Chapter 10

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

Well this was a wonderful chapter. A moment of celebration cause they all do very much deserve said moment there and of course a proper moment to reflect on the consequences. I think its a good balance you've struck making emotions not too far to either side.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

The next day Jarid took a deep breath and tried to focus on all the exciting things that had been happening. He didn’t want to dampen the rest of the squad's celebratory mood with his depressing thoughts. With a sigh he got dressed and left the room. He found Airel waiting outside his door.

“How did your ceremony go?”

“I passed. I heard that you passed as well.” Jarid tried to keep an excited smile as they walked towards the lobby. Airel looked a little nervous as well.

“I did. It still doesn’t feel real though. I wish the others had been able to watch…”

Well this is looking good for the moment, it seems everyone is in good spirits and doing quite good in general about the whole thing that they've got going on except of course Jarid and everything he's been through.

“Congratulations!” Ben, Ethen and Gunther cheered from the dorm entrance. Jarid and Airel stood in stunned surprise at the top of the stairs for a moment before descending.

Jarid’s sadness was blown away by the excitement of their greeting. He was surprised to see a bright expression on the normally serious face of their squad leader. Gunther patted them both on the shoulder.

“Well done you two. It’s not just anyone who can tame a wild dragon,” he praised, with an affectionate smile. This was a side of him Jarid hadn’t seen before, but his thoughts were interrupted by Ben giving him a congratulatory slap on the back.

Well looks like everyone is doing their best for the moment and happy about having passed what to them is a pretty big deal there and an important test to pass.

“Sorry we couldn’t watch your trials. Apparently, they were more dangerous, so they didn’t want anyone else around.”

“I think they just didn’t want anyone else watching because they were hiding something.” Ethen chimed in.

“There wasn’t much different from your trials as far as I could tell,” Airel shrugged.

“I wouldn’t suggest looking much farther into this,” Gunther advised. “It won’t gain you anything and could end up getting you in more trouble than I can pull you out of.”

Well looks like that's an interesting little thought processs there to think about. I love this book honestly, everytime you're like ahah happinesss finally. Someone's there to be like Kate this isn't fantasy everything is actually sad all the time. This is a compliment by the way in case you were wondering.

Jarid gave the others a knowing smile. “I think we’ve learned our lesson in that regard.”

Gunther nodded as his face returned to his normal serious expression. “I have some work to do in my office. I’d advise you to take the time you normally train in the morning to prepare for your lessons later today.”

“Yes sir!” They all saluted.

As soon as Gunther was out of sight Jarid turned to Ethan and Ben.

Well looks like this is going places there at any rate, hopefully whatever horrible secret plans are in motion they'll wait for a chapter or two more, this really feels like they earned one chapter of having a bit of fun after passing those difficult tests.

“I really wish we could have done this yesterday, but could you introduce me to your dragons?” Jarid could barely hold back his excitement to meet his friend’s future partners.

They all raced to the dragon den and Ethen proudly lead them to the pen containing his dragon.

“Woah! He’s a big boy isn’t he?” Ben commented. And indeed, it seemed like the deep red and orange scales of the dragon filled the entire pen.

Ethen put on his riding helmet which was on a hook nearby and the large flame wing grumpily turned to face them.

Well looks like this is going to maybe go well after all. I'm very intrigued about Ethen and if my theory was correct especially cause he seems to be the most interested after Darvi in actually helping the dragons.

“Great job Ethen!” Airel congratulated him. “It must have been terrifying to tame a dragon this intimidating.”

“Thanks, it was scary at the start, but once I convinced this big guy to let me be his rider it was a lot easier.” Ethen smiled at his new dragon companion.

“Wait. You were able to convince him to LET you be his rider?” Ben asked in surprise.

“Yeah. He may look like he’s all muscle but he’s actually pretty smart. That’s what I noticed right at the start. He was analyzing me while the others just felt angry or sad or whatever. We talked it over in our minds. I promised to be a responsible master, treat him well, and listen to him if he does as I say while I’m riding him.”

Well looks like that went exactly as planned. Oh my goodness I am so thrilled at that prediction and also the fact that now its just Ben's dragon that's going to take some convincing that the squad is not out to dominate necessarily.

Jarid folded his arms looking Ethen up and down. He’d grown a lot. When Jarid first met him he doubted Ethen could have stood up to a compliant dragon much less a strong willed one. Ethen was looking at him confused so Jarid smiled and slapped him on the shoulder.

“Good job.”

Ethen nodded smiling. Then Jarid remembered.

“Oh, right. I forgot. We were going to name our dragons their true names. Want me to ask him his name?”

“Yeah. I was going to do that anyways, but you don’t need to bother asking him. His name is Spark.”

Well looks like that language barrier isn't a problem in the world of thoughts from the looks of things, that's very good, its the key component of the whole soul bonding connection thing in other worlds so this is very good news, if this can now be taught to others.

For a moment everyone was stunned. Jarid didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him before when Ethen told them how he had convinced Spark to be his partner. He was able to actually communicate with his dragon despite not knowing the dragon language!

But once he thought about it, it made sense. If the mind gems worked like the Night Wing’s powers, then they could talk to their dragon partners using the connection between their minds just like Shadow’s mother had done. They wouldn’t even need to know the dragon language.

In fact, it might be possible for the dragons to teach his friends their language in the same way Shadow’s mother had for him. Jarid turned to Ben.

Well this is proving very very exciting, okay maybe this chapter will be a bit better after all. We'll see how this is going to try and play out from this point forward here.

“You must try talking to your dragon. Just enough to get his name. I need to know if you can do it too.”

Then Jarid turned to Ethen. “You’re still connected to Spark right?”

“Yes. Why?” Ethen asked, slightly confused by the look of excitement that had come over Jarid’s face.

“Ok. Just listen and I’ll explain everything. Concentrate on listening to me through Spark’s ears if you can.”

Well this is really starting to get through a few obstacles I was worried were going to end up causing a few hindrances and now the future of all of this is looking more promising than ever.

Ethan nodded and closed his eyes. After a few seconds he nodded. Then Jarid switched to dragon.

“The link between your mind and Spark’s may allow you to understand dragon now.”

“Really? That’s so cool. So, how would it work?” Ethen replied in dragon.

Jarid’s eyes widened. He had merely been hoping Ethan would be able to understand him by using Spark as a translator, but it had somehow allowed him to speak dragon as well.

Well that's a big moment there. Urghh part of me wonders if we can get this to get Brom the Dumb and Alvador the Moron to have some intelligent conversations but especially the moron seems to be much too drunk on power to actually not use that as a horrible thing.

Then Ethan realised what he had just done and opened his eyes. He tried to repeat what he had just said but all his words came out as an unintelligible mess of hisses and growls. After a few more tries he gave up and switched back to human.

“Fascinating,” He whispered, with a look of awe on his face. “Do you realise what this could mean for human dragon relations?!”

Jarid nodded. “Exactly!”

“Would someone please explain what’s going on?” Airel butted in exasperatedly.

Well Ethan is definitely the best person for this to actually happen to at least from what I've seen so far, so this is proving itself to be quite a nice thing for them at the moment.

“Sorry.” Jarid apologised. “Ethen and I just discovered that, as long as you are linked to your dragon’s mind, you can both understand and speak the dragon language!”

“Really?!” Ben gasped. “I’ve got to go talk to my dragon. I will be right back.” Ben sprinted off.

Airel looked like she was deep in thought.

Suddenly, Spark spoke up.

Well looks like this could open many doors here at least for the squad. They definitely need to be going forward with this to make relations at large a lot better but this squad is definitely going to be the best of the squads leading up to bigger things like that.

“Do you have some connection to my partner little human?”

Jarid turned in surprise to find the Flame Wing sitting tall and alert in his pen.

Jarid nodded. “I do. Are you finally willing to talk with me Spark?”

Spark shrugged. “You are smart for a human to be able to speak dragon. My partner is also intelligent, but his dragon speech is terrible. You humans like to make deals. If you teach him to speak so we can talk then I will talk with you more.”

“Why don’t you learn to speak human language?”

Well this is an interesting little negotiation. Spark is very much a little spitfire of a dragon and definitely smart too. Its going to take some back and forth here from the looks of it.

Spark laughed. “You want me to moan and groan like humans? Why would I do something so primitive?”

“Your partner said you were smart. I guess not smart enough to speak human,” Jarid taunted.

Spark frowned and thought about it for a moment.

While he was thinking Jarid had another idea.

“Spark? I may know a way that you can learn to speak human quickly.”

Then Jarid turned to Ethen, switching to human.

Well this is going to be interesting that's for certain. Jarid just coming up with so many things on the spot at the moment, looks like this mind gem situation really opens up a ton of things that everyone else just can't think beyond the whole dragons are animals things to actually get at.

“Ethen. I’m going to need you to relax and keep an open mind. Try not to resist whatever happens next ok?”

Ethen looked a little confused but nodded. Jarid nodded and switched back to dragon.

Spark was looking at him curiously.

“Ok, I want you to try listening to me through your partner’s ears. Focus on his mind and your connection as you do.”

Spark seemed a little unsure but did as he was told.

Well okay just a quick reversal there on the part of that. Love that the theory can work in reverse, I was genuinely wondering if that was the option and ahh I'm so happy to see this power explored fully here with the capabilities of an interface like that coming properly to the fore.

Jarid switched back to human. “Ok. That should work. Can you understand me Spark?”

Spark huffed.

“Ha. Uh course I can understand you, hu-an.”

Spark’s eyes widened in surprise as his mouth got twisted trying to speak human for the first time.

Jarid laughed. “Dragons seem to have trouble with sounds using the lips. Don’t worry though. You’ll get used to it.”

Oooh looks like there are some differences in trying to speak. Another detail I'm glad you touched cause its not easy to speak a language from another species when the vocal structure must be so very different between them even if they are similarly evolved to speak.

Spark stared at him in confusion.

“Ah, right. You must have lost your concentration there.”

Jarid repeated himself in dragon and Spark seemed fascinated. He sat down to contemplate everything that was happening. Though it did seem kind of strange to see such a large and muscular dragon in such a sagely position.

Then Jarid turned to find Ethen and Airel standing there with looks of shock on their faces.

Ethen’s hands were trembling. “I… I need to write all of this down somewhere. This is the scientific discovery of the century! This is revolutionary! Too revolutionary…”

Well Ethen being someone who could bridge gaps like that is really coming to the fore here. We definitely need more Ethen's in our life if this whole dragon-human relations thing is going to ever actually start.

Ethen brought his trembling hand to his chin as he thought for a moment.

“If this gets out it will be very volatile. It could end up improving conditions for dragons or making them far worse in the future. I could totally imagine dragon hunters luring unsuspecting dragons into traps with this.”

Ethen looked at Jarid sadly. Jarid sighed.

He had expected as much. It wasn’t going to be as simple as telling everyone that humans and dragons could communicate with each other. It might take a while for humans and dragons to get to a point where coexistence was possible. But if there were people like Brom and Vapor who were willing to give the other side a chance. Then maybe…

Well looks like Ethen definitely deserves to be Ethen the Smart at this point given he is able to rationalize something like that too. This is the sort of information that can only go out with a full reform of how humans view dragons and nothing less.

“Sorry for the wait guys!” Ben came sprinting back to join them. “I was able to do it, but we’ve got to get going if we want to be on time for our first dragon flying lesson. I’ll tell you once we get there.”

Jarid’s eyes widened. He had completely lost track of time. Everyone quickly sprinted to the mess hall to grab something to eat before making a mad dash back to the dragon dome.

There was a large group of instructors in the arena, including Brom and Lt. Keldor.

Well, definitely some lost time there, hopefully that's not causing any problems on this first day of lessons and said lessons manage to actually go well here. We'll see how this sets itself up.

“Good morning everyone,” Brom announced taking a slight step forward. “For those of you who don’t know. I am Brom, a dragon trainer here at the academy. The instructors you see here, including myself, are well versed in dragon behavior and have had many years of experience dealing with them. We will be your instructors during the grounded portion of this training.”

Brom had them all put on their flight suites and bring out their dragons one at a time to have their muzzles and other restraints checked. Except when commanding their dragons, the students were instructed to keep their helmets off. Jarid hadn’t been able to get a good look at Ben’s dragon before, so he walked over to take a look.

Well this is going to be an interesting little look at this dragon. This one was tamed in the more traditional way it would seem and is probably more resistant to being talked to.

It was bulkier than the other dragons and that was putting it nicely. It had a barrel shaped body and stumpy legs with massive wings tucked on its back. It had light brown scales with small patches of dark brow here and there. His face was downcast, and he moved slowly.

Even so, as Jarid looked at the worn scales on its talons, he could tell this dragon had once enjoyed creating art for other dragons. Ben noticed Jarid looking at his dragon and came to stand behind him.

“His name is Barite. Though the way his said it in my mind made it seem like he was saying desert rose or something.” Then he looked down at the dirt. “He was very hesitant to talk to me after how I forced him to do all that stuff yesterday. I hope I can get him to agree to be my partner instead of my slave.” Jarid was once again surprised by how much his friend’s views of dragons had changed.

Well it looks like Ben is also trying his best to actually get on board with the fact they're all intelligent which I mean given his attack earlier its clear her cares. I hope Barite here is going to realize these humans are in fact different and not planning a trick. Unless they are /jk.

When they first got here, they probably wouldn’t have thought twice about forcing a dragon to bend to their will, but now they saw dragons like he did, as people.

Jarid knew that not all people would be as open to the idea as they were, but he hoped that the majority of people would one day see dragons as more than animals or monsters.

“Me too,” He replied, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder. Then he brightened up. “And about Barite’s name. Dragon names carry meaning in dragon that the human language can’t convey in a single word, so we use approximations related to their element. For example, the meaning of Smolder’s name is closer to slow, methodical, steady, or enduring. Or a Night Wing name like Crepuscule could mean falls to darkness, last light, or dark that conquers the light.”

Well that's an interesting little moment there to think about for sure. Dragon names meaning more. I mean you see it everyday in how some names we use in English mean way more in other languages and that is why they are names.

“Do you know a Night Wing named Crepuscule?”

“No. The name just… came to me I guess.”

Just then Lt. Keldor walked up with Airel beside him. “Glad to see you were able to wrangle that dragon kid.” He said with a friendly smile. Then he continued, “I’m gonna need you and Airel here to come with me. I’ll be walking you through your training.”

Lt. Keldor lead them to an isolated corner of the arena near the entrance.

Well looks like the two of them are getting singled out a tiny but which is probably due to the fact they command their dragons in a slightly unconventional manner and naturally they won't know about the others at all yet.

“You can call your dragons now. Jarid, you go first.”

Jarid nodded and put on his helmet. For the first time he understood what Ben had talked about when he’d said it felt like being in a crowd.

He could hear the thoughts of most of the dragons, but it didn’t take him long to find Smolder. His mind felt prickly and resisted Jarid at first.

Sorry Smolder, but could you come over here now?

He felt Smolder’s annoyance and his resignation. He came over slowly and laid down against the arena wall. Jarid could tell he was still upset by what had happened yesterday, but he knew that Jarid wanted to help, so he obeyed without resisting.

Well I'm glad to see Smolder's doubts haven't vanished there overnight, there's still going to be some consequences to all of this and they're going to have to work this out over the coming days.

Jarid took off his helmet while Airel called Vapor over. While he was watching that, he didn’t notice Smolder edging towards the exit until one of the instructors threw up a wall in front of Smolder’s face. He snarled at it but before he could bat it out of his way, another instructor had caused vines to grow over his feet keeping him in place.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll stop him right away.” Jarid apologised as he started putting on his helmet.

“No need for that.” Lt. Keldor said, stopping him from putting on his helmet. “We can’t have your mind interfering with Airel and her dragon’s. This is why we have many instructors here. To keep the dragons who are not under the direct control of their masters in line.”

Well it looks like everyone is doing more horrible things to keep the dragon from going wild but I suppose in this moment that's a decent enough objective to have. Its so hard to have to also realize the humans some of them at least are just trying to not die and have the children die.

Of course! Jarid hadn’t even realised that most of the dragons were not being directly controlled, but that raised another question.

“Sir. If our minds get too confused when there are other peoples mind’s then how can we ride beside each other without interfering?” He asked. Lt. Keldor nodded as Airel finished bringing Vapor over to them. Vapor chided Smolder who huffed and turned away.

“I’m glad you asked Jarid, and Airel should hear this too. I’m sure you noticed how, once you focused on one mind, all the others faded into the background?” Jarid and Airel nodded.

Hmm well this is good. I was wondering that too but it I had a feeling that maybe they could actually learn to be not so confused and go with the flow of all those thoughts.

“Well, with enough training you can completely block out all other minds than the one you want. That way you can still talk to someone privately or broadcast to anyone or anything wearing a green gem. We’ll be working on that throughout this week, and you will not be participating in any group exercises until you can switch freely between speaking privately to one person and broadcasting to everyone.”

Airel and Jarid nodded. “Yes sir.”

“Alright. We will start on that now.

Hmm well that seems to be about as much in line as you can be, and it seems this training is going to proceed without too much unnecessary complications causing any kid of chaos.

“Jarid. I want you to bring your dragon here. Airel. You can take your dragon over there.” Lt. Keldor gestured to a spot against the wall far enough that the dragons wouldn’t interfere with each other.

Jarid went to one spot and Airel to the other. Vapor joined Airel and (after he was released) Smolder joined Jarid. Then he and Airel put on their helmets.

Jarid focused on trying to block out everyone else’s thoughts. He could still feel Airel and Vapor’s minds although they were a bit feinter. He could even feel the other dragon across the stadium if he thought about them, although their minds seemed hazy. Like hearing someone talk underwater. Then he turned his attention to Smolder. He knew exactly what he was going to say first.

Well this is going to be interesting cause while trying to do the whole training thing they do have to also reconcile all of those other more complicated matters in the background.

By the great wings above! Why did you try to run? He scolded.

You didn’t have your helmet on, so they won’t blame you. Besides, I just wanted to see what they’d do to stop me. And maybe annoy a certain human who made me choke on my own fire breath. That hurt you know. Smolder said half jokingly.

Jarid knew it wasn’t the physical pain that bothered him though.

I don’t know what to do other than say I’m sorry and that I will do my best to make up for it. I want you to know that I will always try my best to do what’s best for you. Even if I mess it up.

Jarid sighed. Listen. I can’t promise that I won’t try to stop you if I think what you are doing is wrong or going to hurt you. But if you listen to me when I tell you why and still want to do it…

Well it looks like this is going to be a bit of a long talk, that kind of little laugh trying to hide pain in the humor is about the most painful thing you can hear in general cause you know that betrayal is felt deep.

Then I won’t try to stop you no matter how much it hurts. Even if you try to break our deal, I may try to persuade you not to leave, but I will not force you to stay.

He could feel Smolder’s conflicting emotions as he wanted to forgive but was afraid of opening himself up again. Jarid knew it would take a long time to regain Smolder’s trust. It would be hard, but he owed it to Smolder to rebuild what he had broken.

Finally, Smolder snorted and looked away. Fine. I don’t really care anyway. Let’s just get all this ‘training’ stuff over with.

Jarid nodded and looked at Lt. Keldor. “We are ready.”

Well it looks like they've come to a temporary truce and I'm just very glad that Jarid has to earn this broken trust back fair and square, it makes for a very realistic moment here, and some full consequences for the choices that needed to be made.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall another wonderful addition as we reach two thirds of the way to that ending. I'm hoping now that I'm on a roll I can get to the rest of them today as well but no promises on the last ones cause I am starting to get a little bit tired. Onward we go.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate

Hello Again, My Friend!

It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

Awesome! Learning more about Ethen and Ben's dragons was great, and how it's possible to use the green gems for good, allowing for more communication between humans and dragons. Then, getting into training, Smolder and Jarid's conversation -considering the last chapter- went as good as it probably could in the story, and great in terms of writing! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

Once again, no complaints for content! You're handling your characters so well, like the conflict of emotions and motives, and descriptions of things like the green gems and communication were clear and easy to understand. I did notice just a few things that could be potential errors:

They all raced to the dragon den and Ethen proudly lead them to the pen containing his dragon.

I think "lead" here is supposed to be "led," then...

Brom had them all put on their flight suites and bring out their dragons one at a time to have their muzzles and other restraints checked.

I think "suits" had an unnecessary "e" in it, and last one...

It had light brown scales with small patches of dark brow here and there.

Brown is just missing an "n" here. All of these are very minor anyway, and that is all. Great writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

Ah, once again, there were so many great moments to sift through! Especially as it regards the characters and their many, increasingly complex layers. Like, right off the bat, I thought Jarid's method of handling his ongoing conflict was interesting:

The next day Jarid took a deep breath and tried to focus on all the exciting things that had been happening. He didn’t want to dampen the rest of the squad's celebratory mood with his depressing thoughts.

By keeping it all to himself and acting composed, I see an upside and a downside. On one hand, it does speak to a certain degree of leadership, as I think it's natural for leader-like figures to control their emotions and not let it affect the team. So that tells me Jarid could be growing as a flight leader. At the same time, I feel like "keeping it in" could easily come with repercussions...At least he was able to be more open with Smolder, though, and I thought their conversation toward the end was great. Obviously, Smolder's not going to be open about what he's feeling, but with Jarid understanding that and being open/honest in his place, it seems like fair progress is being made ~

If the mind gems worked like the Night Wing’s powers, then they could talk to their dragon partners using the connection between their minds just like Shadow’s mother had done. They wouldn’t even need to know the dragon language.

And of course, THAT was awesome to learn!! With these stones being such a common tool, it's good to know they can be used for good instead of mind control, and it was a relief to see that Ben and Ethen were catching onto that. As for the new dragons, I like them already!

Spark seemed fascinated. He sat down to contemplate everything that was happening. Though it did seem kind of strange to see such a large and muscular dragon in such a sagely position.

“He was very hesitant to talk to me after how I forced him to do all that stuff yesterday. I hope I can get him to agree to be my partner instead of my slave.”

I was way off in guessing why Ethen connected to Spark! Looks can certainly deceive, though, it's cool to see one of the larger, more intimidating dragons actually being a thoughtful and contemplative type. It adds another point to the idea that they're as independent and intricate as humans. Same for the stocky Sand Wing that sounds quite broken and maybe even sensitive.

And this...this caught my attention:

“Do you know a Night Wing named Crepuscule?”

“No. The name just… came to me I guess.”

What do you know about THAT name, Jarid?!?! Or, what did Shadow's mother know?? Curious, indeed...I love these bits and pieces of foreshadowing!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, another awesome chapter, nicely done!