Hello Doegrl. I am Book. I want to do a review of your poem and haiku.
Roses:
The poem has a dark feel all throughout. You also state your lesson. (I know it has a name but my brain is dead at the moment so I can't remember it) I usually hide mine in the poem if I have a lesson to teach at all. Your poem teaches by telling a story while my poem would likely use different small stories all leaching differently to shove my point in the readers face. We have astonishingly different writing styles and I enjoy that I can go out and find people like you who I can learn from. So thank you for being a poet. I love your poem, it teaches beautifully.
Your haiku is short and sweet. It is very vague but you still state your lesson in the last five syllables. Very nice.
Thornes:
I usually find it hard to read freestyle poems because there is no beat or rhyme to follow. But that is just me. Your story in the poem is sort of oversimplified. I have made this mistake plenty of times myself. But still your poem was a joy to read.
Your haiku was (again) a bit vague but you're working with three lines. When I work with haiku I follow one topic, mention one good thing, and repeat the first line with a bit of change or exactly the same. An example I wrote in 5th grade is:
My south Korea
Mountains stand strong and true
Lovely Korea
Again I thank you for writing your beautiful poems and keep up the great work.
Adieu,
Book
Points: 182
Reviews: 3
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