A bird wouldn’t know what to do with love
But it knows that without the Earth or ground,
Without its regular hills and mounds,
Its day would be one of a life above
Forever searching the remains of a rough
Terrain for what once was and for the round
World that had always twirled non-stop with sound;
It disappeared because it wasn’t loved.
That bird doesn’t know love but I made vows
To love and protect, until our deaths,
This planet that has made us the best
Versions of ourselves, letting us browse
What it means to live until our last breaths
Then become one in perpetual rest.
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141,288 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
How is it going my people?
Ok then, for starters, the language is well written, however I don't really understand the point of the poem. I don't understand what it is that bird is searching for, or... would search for. It'll be easier if I said it like this:
So the bird doesn't know love, but without the world, it would fly to search for the world it never had even though it was always there but now it disappeared. Then it goes to your perspective. That's what it sounds like to me, honestly.
Next, the poem is called Vows for Marrying the Earth; from the title, I figured that is exactly what I was reading, but I fail to see the connection between the bird looking for the world and your vows. Is this supposed to be an environmental awareness poem? The title makes it sound like one but I can't tell from the poem itself.
What I expected from the title is actual vows you are making with the world and I would have considered it a better poem if that's what it was. Is it a terrible poem? Of course not. You made it deep and meaningful, albeit confusing. I hope you understand my lunacy of inconsistent thoughts, I'm awfully tired tonight lol
Keep up the good work, I hope to see more from you!
Hi, J.C. here for a review!
It seems like I've said this several times in the last few days, but, this was definitely a breath of fresh air. I feel like I'm constantly being drowned by works which scream of hate and anger and sadness, or the opposite of not-true love and 'passion.' It's like a perpetual Taylor Swift song, and no one is willing to get down to the truth, the nitty-gritty. You have, though.
The topic you have chosen for this poem is, in my opinion, quite overused. And I was a bit worried that it would turn out just like all the others, telling me how I need to conserve water, recycle, not cut down any trees, etc. etc. But, you've touched on everything that is truly important, and left the rest up to me.
Surely the highlight of the poem, as it should be, this last stanza is beautiful in every aspect. The language is basic, but with the way you've coupled certain words and kept the rhyme going without seemingly trying, it flows very well, and ends on a note which makes everyone stop, and think. Death is surely a subject which requires pondering, and here I am made to wonder how the earth will think of me when I dye.
The only constructive criticism I have is that there is very little punctuation, and you have not broken the poem up into its separate stanzas, which affects the way it is read quite a bit. Easy changes, though. And a job well done!
Thank you dianneece!
Thanks JC, I enjoyed reading your review.