What if music were a person?
He would playfully punch your arm in the mornings even though he’s tired,
Smiling at you with crinkling eyes and an open mouth.
He’d walk beside you wherever you went,
A little jump in his metronome step.
In class, he’d do his work quietly,
Humming to himself,
Sneaking impish glances at you during the entire period.
At times he’ll get loud,
Overexcited,
Trying to be funny and attracting attention.
Some people will look at him admirably,
Some will want to be his friend.
He’ll bump your shoulder with his,
Grinning widely even though there are other people
Who look at him with disdain and disgust.
Sometimes he’ll rhythmically drum his fingers
Or pencils against a desk or wall for a really long time.
He’ll have energy,
So much energy,
That only rubs off on you
And makes your day a thousand times better.
He’ll grasp your hands and coax you to stand up,
Pulling you around with him in nonsensical circles.
While you do your homework,
He’ll lie on your bed,
Throwing a ball at the ceiling with one hand and catching it with the other,
Waiting for you to be done so you can go out with him.
He’ll walk past your parents and make them laugh,
Moving around them mesmerizingly.
They’ll find him kindhearted and uplifting.
When you’re sad,
He’ll listen to you vent about your problems,
Then take you to a backyard hammock
Where you’ll both sit for hours,
Listening to crickets chirp
And watching the day turn to night.
The moments when he’s gone,
You’ll repeat things he once said to you
Or phrases he says often.
The hold he has on you is so complete
It aches to think of silence akin to loneliness
And he knows this
So he tries his best to be there for you constantly.
If music were a person he'd whisper you a rhyme
With the intention of echoing forever in your mind.
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
This was amazing!! I literally could not stop reading once I had started, and I think it's great.
I love it!
You have got the characteristic just right is Music were a person, you've made him likable, and playful, flirtatious, and memorable. Which is pretty much all the things a song can cover! I seriously loved this piece of work, and I am most definitely following you and liking this and reviewing it!
-CFG
(Great avatar by the way, Harry Potter, yaaay!:D )
Thank you for the review and the like and the follow! (And I'm a huge Potterhead <3 )
The Missing Piece here for a review! I love this! I love this so much because its true! If music really was a person that is exactly how he's be! Even just reading this poem I feel a little jazzy! My favorite part was
" He’ll bump your shoulder with his,
Grinning widely even though there are other people
Who look at him with disdain and disgust. "
I like that so much because music would really not care what people think of them, you feel alive when you listen to music. Great job! Keep writing!
~The Missing Piece
Aww thanks!
This is a nice poem, and I liked the little double meanings throughout the piece.
-You have already said you need an ending, so I won't go into this, but I will say that I would like the ending to be a small rhyming couplet, and to sum up your realationship with music, preferably with ambitious and emotive vocabular, but this is a council of perfection.
- This is a very interesting subject matter, and sure to draw in reviewers and likes.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
Thank you for the suggestion! I'll be sure to figure something out with the ending
that's great!
Hi there, have a great day!
So it is true that your poem is indeed unique. I can see what you try to convey by represent the music as a person(a man and your friend). Ideas and theme you have indeed can be tailored to be a good poem to read, than to say directly about what music can do on us. You make the music really lives as a person who sets to accompany us. He lives as a person(or actually can be anywhere, anytime and everywhere) undergoing the normal days with you.
This is the best part in your poem, which the reader can feel the impact itself within the truth behind these lines.
I guess you already got a good idea here. Your writing styles is certainly reflects how teenagers often rely on music for everything they do. It also reflects the personality of the speaker and the kind of music he/she likes. I have no comment about it, it's based on your own originality.
Keep writing!
Kudos, cheers.
Thank you!
This poem was marvelous and very unique! I like this part -
"He’d walk beside you wherever you went,
A little jump in his metronome step."
I love the little musical references throughout - repeats, rhythm, energy, crescendo/decrescendo... and indeed, music is just as good a friend as your character. This is well-crafted indeed. The comparison of music to a boy works perfectly.
Just one thing -
"He would playfully punch you in the arm in the mornings even though he’s tired..."
A bit of a choppy mouthful, it seems...consider a change to something like this:
"He would playfully punch your arm in the mornings even though he's tired..."
Anyway, thanks for writing this; I hope you post more!
~fictional
Thank you! To be honest, this entire poem started because of that line with the metronome step
And thank you for the review!