Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
I'm not going to review, just comment.
Beautiful. Beautiful beautiful beautiful! I love it! If it's okay, can I show this to my friends at school? (They aren't poets, but one of them is a songwriter and we all love reading stuff that we can relate to...)
Oh wow! Thanks! Yeah of course you can show your friends!
-Neon
Thank you very much! I can't believe you found this poem all the way over on this page! XD Well, thanks again!
Hello! I am so glad you are my 200th review! Let's get down to business.
First off, I can really relate to this poem and I enjoyed it.
But I felt as though this middle part didn't quite flow right to me.
You repeated yourself. I just didn't like that part.
But overall I liked it and I can you that you've got talent.
Keep writing!
~LP
CONGRATS!!!!!! YOU FOUND IT!!
haha 
I'm honored to have the 200th review! 
haha 
Yes the reapeat in the poem is annoying but thanks! Congrats on getting 200 reviews!
Keep writing too!
-Neon.
Neonmask this was an awesome poem. The length of the lines is a bit long. The only thing I would do is shorten them a little. In some of the lines should be split into to lines. But other than that it was a fantastic poem and I loved it. It was beautifully written and flowed nicely. Great job and I look forward to more from you
~MindBlown
Mindblown thanks for the comment! Yeah I totally agree about the length of the lines, and I'll read your poems(and comment on them)!
I'm glad you enjoyed my strange poem! (haha) Thanks Mindblown!
-Neonmask
Thanks everyone!:)
Impressive. It is obvious that you put effort into this, and also a lot of emotion. I also really love your title! It is very creative. I really like how your words are simple in some lines, and more descriptive in others, it adds to the uniqueness of your poem. One thing I would change though, is the length of some of your lines. A majority of them are tiny fragments and the others are extremely long, the form of poems are definitely not the main thing that matters, but it DOES matter.
You are really talented, you surely do have potential.
Toodles.
Thanks you Lovelysayshi! Yeah I agree that the lines were very choppy, some wwaaaaaaaaay long and others tiny! Honestly, I don't think my poem was anything special, but others seem to disagree as to the ''special-ness'' of this poem (in a good way)-hahahaha but thank you very much!!
-Neonmask (And to everyone: I appreciate all of everybody's opinions and tips!) 
HI!
First off let me just say, amazing! Truly I could feel the emotion pouring out of this poem! It made me feel trapped like the person in the poem appears to be, struggeling. I mean that in a good way, like I could see the person painted in front of me and feel what they feel!
The only thing I would have to say because just lots of praise won't make you a better writer is for where you say "Your teeth throb from gnashing them together" I think it might have been better to use a different word in the place of gnashing. But reguardless, it's far better then anything I could write.
Keep it up!
Hey Speakerskat! holy cow!! I can't believe that people are still posting comments on my poem when it's on page 2! Anyway,thanks very much for the complements!:) And yes, that is totally true-a lot of praise won't make me write better..Actually, I don't like only-getting-praise, because then I wouldn't know what all of the flaws were, so how could I progress?? And I could have used a different word for ''gnashing''
Thanks Speakerskat!! 
The title of the poem was quite interesting. I guess no one could have explained it the way that u have... The pain is more painful and apt to every situation. I know its very hard to simply write about the bark without telling anything about its roots or leaves. The flaws as to say I don't really think that repeating the words or sentence is effective.
"When its done, When its over" has the same meaning. U could've avoided it.... Otherwise it is very good. And Am looking forward for your work... Keep writing....
Hi Dreamy, Wow...thanks!! I didn't realize so many people would like it! It seems as if a lot of my readers liked the poem more then I did! haha well, thanks for your ideas and everything:)..even your comment was well written!
Honesty, I found that writing the,''When it's done, when it's over'' added a nice touch but yeah the repeating of all those other things was sorta...annoying. 
Very good tips and I will keep them in mind in my future poems and stories! 
Thank-you!:)
This one has such strong emotion in it. I love that about it.
Keep posting 
<3 xxxx , Claire
"You scream into the night.
The only reply is the echo of your plea, to make the hurt-the burning fire raging inside-go away.
In frustration you clutch your head. Harder. Then harder yet. It hurts. Until you can't bear it any longer.
Your teeth throb from gnashing them together.
And both eyes sting as if smoke has touched them.
Dropping to your knees on the cool forest floor, suddenly, you are weak.
Like a fog, your screams have faded out, and are replaced by sobbing whimpers." These parts were incredible and I loved them! You express yourself so well when you write, good luck
Thanks ClaireAura!!
When you wrote that I express myself so well and all...thanks!! 
I'll try to keep posting!! But I gotta write a ton of reviews..Xp haha well, Thanks!!!:):):)
Thanks for all your idea's an suggestions!
Thanks everyone! 
Hello I is here for a review, I hope it helps you out some.
Okay it would sound better like this "that seems as if it will never die""You scream." Okay this is not the best idea to make things personal like this it makes it sound like this is a story about me not you and that is not quit what you want and if someone likes it like that then they can think as them in your place.
Not a good idea to say thing more than one time.
"The hurt-the burning fire raging inside go away" Okay inside what and I also think it would be better if you put it like this "The raging fire".
When you are made or frustrated you don't hurt yourself.
I think it would be better like this"as if you had smoke in them" that might make this line better.
Again you are putting in you it is a very bad idea it makes it sound most incorrect.
this is wrong too it needs to be fixed.
This was very good I must admit you wrote in a strange way but it was still really good.
Keep writing and good luck. (Practice makes perfect.)
~Jon~
Yeah I know I write in a strange way ... haha Thanks anyways though
Oh my goodness! That was very very interesting.. You caught the pain, the one that seems like its indescribable. Your title is very good, and each word you pick is like being in a sea of frustrated oblivion just through one poem! I applaud you highly, even if it is sort of *shivers* haunting. : ) Please keep writing because this was really good.
wow...thank-you!
This was really good! I love making poems!
thanks!
That's cool!
Oops didn't mean to put the title in the top of the poem...oh well. :/
Haha! It's ok