Looking out into the stormy sea,
the wind throws harsh blows against your face,
as tears burn your skin by trickling out of your dark eyes.
Those eyes...
They used to be bright. So bright, and full of sparkling delight.
You miss it. How they used to be...how YOU used to be.
Many times you've tried-tried to get out of this cage of sadness
holding you in. Suddenly, you find, that what you need to do
is want it. You need to crave the joy that you once had
in the palms of your hands...if only you hadn't of thrown it away
in your depression and misery.
But, wait! It's not over...You can walk over and pick up your shinning
joy..yes, it may be stained slightly by tears, but nothing that won't
wash out. Looking out beyond the stormy sea, you see a sunrise!
A beautiful one, not like any other one you have ever seen!
With gentle golden clouds and pink soft streaks floating and
swirling in the early morning sky it was amazing...and the wind had went into a serene breeze which smelled of spring and would whisper funny little songs into your ear-
just like happiness. The happiness that you could have. That you will have.
The darkness is faded from your eyes and is replaced by shimmering
joy. The world has awoke,started a new day, and so have you.
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140,201 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
The name of the poem immediately caught my attention. I am so glad I read it. It is a lovely poem, a great work. There are a few grammar mistakes, yes, but the thought behind the words is great. Also, the ellipsis is unnecessary and, quite frankly, a little bit distracting. Get rid of it, maybe?
Hi, thanks for the comment!
That's kind of you to write that it was lovely and great work! 
And I will probably put the suggestions in it when I expand the poem (If I expand :p) And also thanks for writing the,well, (criticism..???) I'm not-sure-of-what-to-call it- nicely! 
(Hope that made since)...well, Thanks! 
-Neon.
This poem really speaks to me, I love your writing. It almost sounds like a song to me. I would love to see more. What inspired you to write this? Also, you should try putting poems into your other writing!
Wow thank you! What inspired me to write this? Well, I just never understood how someone could do that(what I wrote in the poem) so then I put it into words!
That's a good idea about putting my poems into other writing! 
But what is my ''other writing'' exactly? 
And I hope to see some of your writing too! 
Thanks for the sweet comment!
Hey Neon! Black here for a quick review!
Okay, first off, nice work here. Well written, with a really nicely done plot and theme. Great work especially in the theme. The emotions were great, and really well portrayed! Loved that part! However, you do have a few weaknesses. I'm going to say that your main two (The two I'm gonna cover in this review) are grammar and detail. You're lacking in one and don't have enough of the other. ^^
Your Grammar problem is, as far as I see, quite complex and hard to generalize from. I'm going to have to give you a number of examples and fix them, hoping that you'll get the general problem. Right now I'm really thinking that the problem is just you misusing grammar, but be careful, and stay ready to generalize.
So here goes!
Same problem in both of these! If the first part is related to the second as I think it is, then there should be no comma. Read it outloud to yourself. Tell me!
I'm thinking again that the relation problem is on! I'd get rid of that question mark. Also, the ellipse there is really inappropriate (A: Because it's the wrong type for what you're doing and B: because it doesn't put the correct emphasis!)
You should have used a three period ellipse here!
Kind of abrupt ending don't you think? . . . Just sayin.
Anyway, I've gotta go here. It looks like you have a problem with understanding how your sentences are related. I advise you to sit down and READ THIS OUT LOUD! It'll help a lot!
Anyway! Good luck here! Nice emotions! Keep writing - Guaranteed improvement!
~Black~
For the 'detail problem' you could really use to expand!
It'd improve it I think!
Thanks BlackNether12...
But I will attempt to change it at some point...
Thanks again! -Neon.
And I will probably(might, might not) go ahead and re-do it!
Expanding it and things like that would help. The abrupt ending reminds me of an opera singer who is singing a really long line and then-stops. Mid-line and all! OK I don't like Opera but that's just the example that popped into my head!
"Just as the petal fall, from a dying rose they trickle down their face... tears."
I'm not sure that that part is grammatically correct. Perhaps try, "Just as the petal falls (the petals fall) from a dying rose; they trickle down their face. Oh, and definitely no comma after fall.
I usually like my poetry to have a little more rhythm, but this had very vivid imagery. Nice use of repetition.
Yeah..thank-you for your tips and ideas!!
I just now saw that before I read your comment that I had not made the word petal plural..:/ But thanks! 
- And welcome to YWS! 
-Neonmask