A screaming black steam train leaving into the horizon of a large country plain
A screaming brown horse runs along side it.
A woman's head peeks out the train's window.
The horse won't leave this person.
The woman turns away she can't bare to see how the horse's already, large, wet black eyes will look like teared up.
The train speeds up
the horse his neck.stretches his neck.
The woman inside the leaving train can't hold not looking at the crying horse outside her window.
She turns.
The train gets faster.
She cries
The horse tries to keep up but trips, its long body twists and crumbles. The horse's head hits a rock.
The woman hits the train's window to the sight of her beautiful brown horse lying down dead in cloud of dust.
As she screams the train screams too.
She will never lose the sight of glimpsing into her dead horse's large black eyes wide open and teary.
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Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
This is very moving to me. I teared up a bit and I really love it! I love how you capture this picture, and I could imagine it thoroughly. It was beautifully written.
I ride horses and every time something happened to one of my horses a huge sadness came over me just like the lady in the train. I honestly think that this poem really captures the true meaning of a person and there horse and how it effects both the owner and the horse. You did a wonderful job on this poem I absolutely love it!
Scify for a review! Hey, this is very sad, I actually teared up and that is EXTREMELY rare for me. One thing I see with poetry is that they forget to end sentences where they should, as in they forget to put periods. You've done pretty good with this problem, but you still have some examples of it: "The train speeds up the horse stretches his neck" this should be it's own sentence, as should a few other stanzas. Another thing, commas, they go in poetry as well like in this part: "...horse's already large wet black eyes will look like..." you need a comma after "large" and "wet" because you always put commas between adjectives if you have more than one describing one object, person, etc. Other than those this is very good, sad, but good. Scify out! :')