Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
*I know that Valoween is over, but I thought it would be fun to share. This will be under my folder titled “Some scary-ish stories”. I hope that you enjoy!*
The saccharine sweetheart
Blood is red
Bruises are blue
I’d carve my heart out
Just for you 🫀🥀
The fallen Cupid
Roses aren’t always red
Violets were never blue
There’s only person I despise
And that person is you ☠️🩸
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,758 Reviews
Hey friend! I'm stopping by with a quick review for this fantastic poem of yours
let's not waste any time, and let's jump right into the review!
Poem seems to play on that traditional "roses are red violets are blue " poem, with some different variations and styles, for example:
You take a darker twist on this. You talk about blood being red, instead of roses. Instead of violets, which are blue, we have bruises. You take this darker twist talking about taking out your heart just for this person. It sounds like you love them in a very dark and twisted way, but your love is incredibly strong! I love horror and I love dark things like this.
Wow, and another very dark poem, on the second half of us! Now we get a little more traditional, going back to mentioning roses and violets. Except we use words like never in aren't, giving it a more negative tone, as if this person has lost all hope. You make this very bold statement about despising this person. I think what I loved most about this poem, is that it feels like a love poem, but really, we are stating these dark facts. I love the added emojis too. It added this cute little twist to it, which made it even more enjoyable. I found that your flow and rhythm was fantastic! If all the traditional pattern that we see in these poems. It kept me very engaged the entire time. I like the words that you used to, like mentioning, carving out your heart, or despising person. Overall, fantastic work on this and I can't wait to read more of your poetry, friend!
Your friend,
Ellie
Glad you enjoyed!
Hello vampircone!! i'm here to review your work with the YWSeption review. Lets get into it!
Register On To YWS
huh...? what's YWS?
Not many things to say for first impressions- These are fun spins of the original poem though!
Hop On To Forums
woah! this is really fun!
Welcome Mat
A lot of great imagery, but the part that was most striking was
Art & Photography
The image of
added a more sinister touch that i really liked!
Will Review for Food
My favorite part was by fat,
that was just too relateable
First Review
huh? whats a review? how do i do one?
not much to say here! just maybe not capitalizing and.
Read Some Works
hmm... I like these poems by alliyah... and these stories by Spearmint!
if you want to write more poetry-- i reccomend reading some by @creaturefeature, @envy, or @fatherfig!
Staying On YWS
I think I like it here!
so yeah, i really liked this and look forward to reading more by you!
-herb
I love how you did so much with so little, it's a beautiful poem that tells you so much without telling you anything. I love it!
My favourite of these 2 would have to be The Fallen Cupid, I adore the simple but affective way you showed the speakers feelings. (Plus the emoji's adorable.)
I also love the desperation and earnestness behind The Saccharine Sweetheart, "just for you." Brilliant work here!
I really like the rhyme scheme in this poem. As well as the emojis since they convey a emotion that you were trying to present. In addition I loved the twist you put on the original poem. Oh and also I love these types of poems!
Glad you liked it!
lol
I used to love making these up too~
It%u2019s fun. :>