I walk across the green forest floor
Listening to the sound of a stream in the distance.
I sit on a large grey stone by the stream.
I listen to the sounds of the birds
Singing a peaceful melody.
I smell the strong scent of a wild mint plant.
I watch as fish swim up the stream,
Slithering in the water
Like silver snakes.
I dip my toes in the clean, cool water.
Calmness washes over me,
Like a wave lapping at a sandy beach.
The spirits of the forest whisper to me
I listen.
I lay my head on a mossy patch of ground,
Falling asleep.
All is calm in the forest.
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140,172 Literary Works • 673,034 Reviews
This is a very relaxing poem. I really am happy that I read because its helping me fall asleep.
Your use of sensory detail is profound. I felt as though I was somewhat in a dream, watching myself enjoy the presence of nature from a third person point of view.
Pretty cool :p
My favorite line was:
"The spirits of the forest whisper to me
I listen."
It shows the great connection you (and all of us who love the outdoors) have with nature. It makes me feel like this connection not only connects us to Earth but also connects us to our ansestors who did not live in the age of industries and things of that nature.
This poem just made me love nature even more. Its so pure in habit. There is nothing I would suggest for you to change. This poem was awesome!
Write on!!!
Thank you for the really sweet comment! I love nature, and I feel connected to nature every time I go outside. I feel that people should get outside more to find the connection I have with nature. Once again thank you so much! Corgisrock22
I write a lot of nature themed poems, and this one reminded me a lot of the ones I write, or the ones anyone may write to be fair. I agree with @Laughmaster that the first few lines were a bit cliché, but you did do a very good job making it not feel like I was reading another poem. The last three lines I think are my favorite, because they just add this layer of tranquility that I didn't really get from the other lines.
Overall, I think you did a great job. I loved reading this, and I hope to read more from you soon!
I love writing about nature. I like to imagine im witnessing its beauty as I write. Anyway, Thx for the advice! I am getting ready to work on a book, And I think all you girls who like romance will like it! Once again thx! Corgisrock22
HI FELLOW Writer, Laughmaster here for a review. This was your first poem? So I'll try to give some thoughts.
The highlighted stanza is cliched yet it works effectively. The starting lines in particular are seriously cliched but it didn't bog me down. It worked pretty effectively.
The middle part of your poem is neat and clean. No issues there.
Loved it! This was my favorite part. All's well that ends well, and this ended very well
Pacing was good imagery is fine but the narrative was the key point. It kept me hooked Till the very end.
Laughmaster's Rating: 7/10 (You will improve with time. Don't worry be happy. And keep writing):D
Wow! thanks for the advice! Like I said Im new,Infact, right after I signed up for yws, I wrote this poem! I enjoy writing or making storys or poems involved with nature or mythology, basicly anything like warriors to percy Jackson. Im so very glad you enjoyed my poem, many more to come!
Hello. Dogsrule5 here to review!!!
Alright so I told you all of the nitpicks, when we were Skyping. Alright great poem. I thought this was one of the best. Anyway... Talk to you later.
Keep up the good writing,
Love,
Dogsrule5
Reading this poem really made me feel peaceful. The beat of the story seemed a little bumpy. I don't know much about poetry, but I did like this. Good job!
Thanks! Like I said im new but im sure i'll get better! thanks for commenting, many more poems to come!
I hope you like it! Its my very first poem! sorry if theres a few mess ups. im new but I will get better! Sincerely, corgisrock22