God-Given Gifts.

by constantia

Published December 11, 2012

In Shorties(:

 

She smiled at him with tired eyes, and he smiled back, holding their baby between them for her to see. Their room was full of family and friends—rather loud. To them, however, it was empty, ethereal, quiet. Their daughter gave ethereal a whole new meaning. She wasn’t crying; she wasn’t making a sound. She blinked up at them with such huge, black orbs that were still colorless and unable to focus. She was so beautiful; she was angelic.

Best of all? She was theirs.

“So guys, what’s her name?” a friend asked. They’d been keeping it a secret.

Abigail smiled and glanced over at her husband.

“Leah,” he answered, looking back down at his daughter. “Her name’s Leah.”

After worrying for so long about their chances of having children, about how their work lives would interfere with raising a child, about how her job could possibly affect their lives, such anxieties now felt ludicrous and so far away.

They had a family now. They were a family. Such anxieties could be put off for another day.

“A day at a time, love,” James whispered to his wife. “Remember, we take it a day at a time.”

She smiled up at him and linked their lips with a soft touch, cupping her hand at her baby’s head to ensure they didn’t crush her.

“A day at a time,” she answered.

 

Fin.

 
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
veeren
Comment
veeren commented Comment · Dec 11, 2012

Not a review, but I just had to comment.
This was just a beautiful piece of writing :D
The descriptions were perfect and really showed the emotions from the story.
And the quote, "A day at a time." is just great.

Keep up the good work!

User avatar
indieeloise
Review
indieeloise wrote a review Review · Dec 11, 2012

This was a sweet short-short story. It kind of sounds like it could be either the beginning of the story of Leah's life, or the end of a story of the previous struggles of the newly weds. Anyways, I think you could really build on this!

Your descriptions:

I thought ethereal was the perfect word to describe Leah. However, I don't really think it should be use to describe the quiet room they were in. Maybe it's just me, but I don't really see its correlation with delicacy. There were a few other descriptive words, like "orbs" and "linked their lips," that seemed a little forced. But maybe if this were longer, the style of your writing would be easier to tap into, and these types of words would fit more effortlessly.

Also, I found the italicized words a little distracting, especially in a short-short like this. One or maybe two emphasized words are okay, but it's more intriguing for the reader to decide on their own which words stick out and impact them the most. But maybe it's just me, who knows!

All in all, I liked it! Very cute read. Keep writing, would love to read more about this family!

~Indie.

ShakespeareWallah wrote a review Review · Dec 11, 2012

Hey Fin,

This is not a review, just a comment.
Lovely story you've got here. Thought it's a bit short, it gives a general picture of genuine happiness of the arrival of a new member in the family. It almost seemed, cute in ways because the prose is quite sensual and bright.

There were certain line that really helped putting flavor in it such as She blinked up at them with such huge, black orbs that were still colorless and unable to focus and “Remember, we take it a day at a time.” .

Quite a nice job! keep writing!
Puck



A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief