The story starts with beginning of man
And the journey begins when his mind ran.
He is fast on his path as extreme speed of a car.
In his way he studies position of stars.
He never stops like the time,
Then he started doing crime.
He never thought what he is doing
As in the mouth of lion, a deer is going.
A man with gadgets is like a star with light
With it he grows trees of might.
He started computing as a new trend,
He takes it as he has got a new friend.
The time is not so far, it is coming soon
When he will start making his own boons.
Don’t wait in your house
Like a cat waiting for a mouse.
Take part, start management,
Because this time is only for development.
The future is coming, the man is running-
Go man keep working…
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Canary word: Present
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Hello there, Chetan. I'll just help you with a few errors.
He is fast on his path as extreme speed of a car.
In his way he studies position of stars.
It's your choice how you reword this, but I'd suggest "He is fast, as fast as a car/in his way, he studies
the placement of stars."
Then he started doing crime.
He never thought what he is doing Right here, you broke with the present tense.
Not sure exactly how you could fix it, though.
@pencilgirl,
Hello, I understand what you are saying and I admit that this poem is a lot awkward. I wrote this poem when I was a kid and it was the first poem of my own, so it bothers me a little too.
The meaning of the poem is complex in itself that it is hard to let someone understand.
I will try to make edits and I would like others to help me with this.
Thank you for your time.
hello i am pencil and here to write a review!
well i have to say you are not exactly expressing well because of the topic you have chosen. the rhymes are not well written for example the part " the time is not so far, it comes soon"
when he will start making his own boons"..? i am very confused about this verse please explain