did you really care for me?
or was everything you did just for me to see?
you left me when i most needed you
and at that time there was nothing i could do
tears rolled down my eyes
and every second my heart dies
what about the promises you made ?
and today they are so fade
people said that you weren't the one
but that time i listened to none
i blindly believed you
and now this is what you do ?
today you expect me to move on ?
but my dear its already late for the dawn
i still love you the way i used to
and today still all i want is you
you left my hand
without a reason you broke our love band
or maybe you never did love me ?
and today that's all i can see
i still wont forget you
i love you the same way i used to
but boy remember not to hurt a girl
cause maybe you never know you are insulting a pearl
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140,515 Literary Works • 673,283 Reviews
Charmy Congo
<3
You did amazing in the poem and I can tell its from experience!
I almost cried! ;(
What you cant tell to any one in words you put them in words for the world to see!
You are stronger than you think honey!
Never think love is over though its always going to be there!
Your point deserves 10/10!
I love it
Write more many more!
RoseCrown
thankss rose crown
ohh puh leese i had enuf of it.. no more..
thnaks for the review ..
I love this poem! It's so true! You are a good poet and should write more. I didn't see any grammar mistakes! No one deserves what happened in the poem. But it happens and it's apart of life. You cry and move on. Love is a fragile thing and if you don't treat it right it breaks. So in the words of Miranda Lambert 'So we treat our love like a firefly! Like it only gets to shine for a little while.'
thanks alot for your review .. i will keep writing...
I understand the intent of this poem, although the execution isn't so good. I think you try to hard to 'tick the boxes' of writing poetry by crafting structured poem based on this AABB rhyme scheme, which I think breaks the flow and makes the poem very disjointed. For example to stick to this rigid framework you even sacrifice making sense; "promises you made... they are so fade"
For a poem to 'flow' I believe that in a sense the strict stanzas (paragraphs) and rhyme scheme don't matter as much unless the type of poem fits that rigid formula, and in the case of romantic poetry I don't think it does at all as a general rule. Love is all about pure emotion not rigid rules, and the poem needs to reflect this.
Hello
.
This actually reminds me of a poem I wrote back when I was in high school. Yes most of teens do go through this at some point and its nice to see that they aren't alone. The only thing I really notice is you need some capitalization work done on this. And one or two commas are needed.
Is this a personal experience? It does seem that way. If so, remain positive!!!!! Things will turn around!