Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
The guns sound
The wind howls
"They are advancing!
Push back!"
Is what lieutenant yells
Men peep from the trench
Shooting out mindless blows
I shot a man a brain became a hole
A machine gun in a foxhole
Came out shredding men apart
Out came their hearts
O, where is the soul
When an enemy man departs
He played a role, in a family
He had goals, he cared happily
Never thought of revolt
never thought of killing a man's family
Never thought of giving out shots
Never was that a want
Shooting men lazily
Starving until his vision became hazy
A soldier asked, "What calamity have we committed?"
I said, "What didn't we?"
Another man falls through my iron sights
His chest punched in
The war has gone on and on,
Our uniform is just for show
But the people shouldn't know
Then tanks start roaring like lions
Shooting and showing their yellow lights
Men blown apart entirely
A half there then another here
Men in the trench cried quietly
Some men rushing us screamed out fight me
Waves of bullets, waves of men
The trees fall, the dirt piles
It rained and men fall
Dead or not, you'll fall on someone who is
The meat grinder
Where the system cares so little
It sent men with fiddles
Bang, bang
Men fall
Till one stood
The cry left misunderstood,
The cry to end was left for good
No man's land kept the name
Till a man stood and stared with gouged eyes
We simply stood
Men aimed but never shoot
Their bravery cured
And Understood
He was man
And stood for his country
Bravey wasn't cured
It was inhumanity
He sought our deaths
Such intense hate
He stumbled to us,
Eyes gone
An arm fallen
A limp in the step
He raised an arm
And let the grenade fly
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139,886 Literary Works • 672,791 Reviews
Hello carkes! Welcome to YWS. I thought this was a well-developed war poem, and there were lots of lines that really highlight the horrors of combat:
This one is visceral, and it is effective because it shows how quickly a life 'disappears' in modern warfare.
Some of the lines like these three seemed rather cryptic - are the two 'cries' the same cry? They seem different to me but I'm not totally sure why.
The ending of the poem is haunting - it's not often that the speaker of the poem is implied to be killed at the end.
Keep writing!
Hey there! The title and description intrigued me, and I was not disappointed.
As an overall, I really love this piece. I love the WWI setting, I've always found it intense and dark, and horrific. Also, having seen Oppenheimer recently the theme of war and right and wrong in that setting has been in a more popular conscience the last month. There are a few little grammar nitpicks that I noticed
I actually really liked this line, but you either need a period or a semicolon after "man"
Given that most of the poem is in the past tense, it seems like shoot should be shot.
I didn't understand why Understood was capitalized here
There were also a few lines I found clever, such as "Dead or not, you'll you'll fall on someone who is".
I do like the overall sentiment in this piece, that perhaps much of war is a waste, just pawns being moved around with no personal fight in themselves. WWI I think was more so this way than WWII where there were some clear and present horrors happening. Trench warfare though, just seemed like such an absurd and wasteful use of resources and life, but was also necessary to keep lines held. The technology just didn't quite match the time period, similar to the Civil War.
Would love to see more pieces like this, and welcome to YWS! If you are very into history I would recommend looking up Sabaton, which is a band that does historical music.
~Messy