Under Your Thumb Is Where It's At

Hello and welcome to YWS firstly . I'm Kat here to review for ou excuse typos it's 2 am and I'm on an iPhone ...

Anyways , I understand some of the other comments about not understanding what was happening and liking your use of strike throughs but , I really understood what was happening . This man has gone crazy and he's obsessed with this woman he's ruined it and that's what the time is referring to and now he's completely insane and I think your point just really came across with your word choice and the way you used words not only to show but to "show" what's happening . Some of it , kinda didn't make sense but ... I think those parts that was the intention . Code? Fillers ? I can only grasp at what those might mean .

Please continue to write with such passion and such attention to detail and you will go very far and I truly enjoyed reading this ~
Kat

Hey Megrim here, trying to review some poetry for a change! I don't really read or write poetry so I have no idea what I'm talking about, but hopefully I'm learning.

To be honest, I didn't understand this poem at all. Like, not even a little bit. I have no idea what it's meant to be about. I thought it was kind of neat how... hectic? it felt. Unpredictable, frustrated, scattered. I think it definitely conveys a strong sense of how the narrator is feeling. The bold, strikethrough, and caps really added to that effect.

I suppose overall I got a sense of love and lost love. I'm not sure what happened to the lost love, if it was the narrator's fault or if they are only blaming themself for something outside their control. I wish I could say more about this poem, but honestly every line made me more confused than the last one. I couldn't deduce any sort of context; it seemed to be pure emotion. I guess this sort of thing is the reason I don't read poetry: I feel like some poems are really inaccessible and difficult to understand. I would probably categorise this poem as one of those.

Thanks for sharing and happy writing!

Hey there buck!

Happy review day! I think that was a really interesting poem, and an entertaining and unpredictable read! Like the previous reviewer, I think the additional editing - the caps, the repetition, and the bolding - really added a lot to the reading experience of this poem.

I will say that it was a little difficult for me to follow exactly what was going on or what you were trying to say with this. I get that the narrator's supposed to be erratic and unstable, but there should be something there that keeps us grounded in the story that you're trying to tell. If you need an example of a piece of writing that does this well with a similar kind of unreliable narrator, I recommend Edgar Allen Poe's The Tell Tale Heart.

Anyway, this is a great start! Feel free to give me a shout if you have any questions.

Hello, buckis! Dracula, the earthbender, is here to review your poem.

First of all, I'd like to say that I found the extra editing added another dimension to your poem. This is a good thing. Instead of being a typical love poem with a constant flow, and one tone of voice, the editing emphasises the important parts. It added a more informal, but very intense, voice to the poem.

What are fillers? This question was a big part in the poem but I feel as if it hasn't been answered. Of course, that might be the way you want it. That's fine. But if you did include an answer, maybe just make it a little more obvious.

Writing the last lines in capitals made it even more intense than it already was. The desperate feelings really show through. Good job, this is some great writing.