You think you know how they are feeling deep down inside.
You think you know that they are ok, that they have never cried.
You think you know that it's alright to turn the other cheek.
You think you know that suicide is only for the weak.
You think you know that kid, that sits alone at lunch.
You think you know that he was fine, when he absorbed the punch.
You think you know all of these things until that sobering day.
You think you know everything, until it's you with nothing to say.
I thought I knew that he was fine, always had a smile on his face.
I thought I knew him pretty well, that he had no sadness, not a trace.
I thought I knew that it was going great, until they found him dead.
I thought I knew it couldn't be true, when they found a rope slid over his head.
I know now how it feels, to feel so sick and pale.
I know now how it feels, to be so close to the veil.
I know now what its like,to fall down in despair.
I know now what its like to cry and not want to have to share.
I know now how it feels to really want to end your life.
I know now how all that feels, because I almost ended it with a knife.
Now you know that it is true, suicide is for the weak.
Now you know that its 'cause they were hurt, but you turned the the other cheek.
I hope that before you laugh, you will see if they're ok, and make sure.
Because I know you know that after this, you will never be as you were.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I DO KNOW HOW DARE YOU TESTIFY AGAINST ME
Uh, hi. My name is Dillbert, and this is the first review I'm doing. I'm not new to this whole review thingy, so I'll try my best. I liked this poem, to be honest. I enjoyed that style of going down line for line. The subject is not original, I have to admit, but how you did the poem was interesting and unique. I really liked that factor of it.
Also, you use the word "ok" in the first line. The correct spelling to "ok" is "okay", okay? That kind of sounded mean, but it's for humorous purposes.
So yeah, Dillbert out!
um thanks...I think
The message of this poem I think i can say confidently is know your victem. An anti-bullying message. I would suggest that you change "a rope slid over his head" to "a rope slid over his neck". Despite the rhyme schemes dependance on this, you could make alternating rhymes, or make other adjustments. I would suggest thay you use something like "you think you know everything, but thats just everything (a)they say(a)" instead of "you think you know everythjng until its you with nothing to say". I feel that this would fit in better with the theme of going on the information provided by the majority in order to judge a person. You have a good message here, and the way the poem convicts you, and tells ou that you will never feel the same again is a good bit of social science. I would also like to say that ending your life probably takes courage. Its in human often nature to strive to survive no matter how depressed they are. In conculusion, you wrote well here, your grammer was perfect, and the format is acceptable. Good job and keep writing
Thanks
Sorry bout that first line. It was all askew and just would not be fixed
You should only reply to messages, as commenting on your own poems could pass the green room limit, and deprive you of your deserved reveiws. Just a tip.
Oh it won't
It will only count as a comment. Reviews will count in the limit, but not comments.