Forever Gone

by bluewaterlily

Published December 16, 2012

In Poetry

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Comments & reviews · 2
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PenguinAttack
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PenguinAttack commented Comment · Dec 17, 2012

Locking this because it's a double post, you can find more comments on this work here: work.php?id=98321

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ImHero
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ImHero wrote a review Review · Dec 16, 2012

Hey I like this poem but I don't understand some parts. Okay well you compare saying your love is an hourglass that breaks? An hourglass symbolizes a certain amount of time and having it break means what exactly? Why have an hourglass break when its an hourglass that symbolizes the time you too have. (if this is the symbolism)
Also you try to catch the grains but cannot do so, the grains mean what in this case? You say memories but your character doesn't seem to have memory loss so why cant he catch the grains that symbolize that? He still has memories of her right?

Also so the form in this is not perfect, you have longer lines next to shorter lines that would sound asif it was the next line separated by a comma. This doesn't make much sense because your stanza's are varying lengths and could do with extra lines. Anyways this is just a guideline to my thoughts on this poem so take it or leave it. Anyways keep writing ! :)



Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire