Wow. o.o
They say the average human has 35 to 48 thoughts per minute
2100 to 3000 thoughts per hour
50000 to 70000 thoughts per day
Sometimes, my skull feels like a cramped attic
Compressed with dusty boxes full of abandoned thoughts and memories
Sometimes, my brain feels too big And no, not in a brainiac Einstein way. More of a my brain is slamming against the walls of my skull kind of way
I am claustrophobic of my own mind
Memories, failures, dreams, anxiety, Fear.
They all play like a playlist of the same song, stuck on repeat
Over and over and over and over
and
over
Sometimes, I want to turn it all off.
Sometimes, I wish my skull was an egg,
So I could crack it open,
Let the yolk of me flow out,
And sizzle on pavement in the summer
My thoughts are wild horses that gallop in my mind,
Hooves rumbling against the walls of my skull
Their thunderous chorus reverberates
Like a stereo trying to shatter windows
One day, my mind will shatter from the crescendo,
Crack like an egg,
Like Humpty Dumpty.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty back together again.
The horses continue to thunder through my skull
Until one day,
I
will s
h
a
t
t
e
r
The walls of my my skull will have a great fall.
Unfold, unhinge as easily as a Chinese takeout box.
Unhinged will be how they describe me.
Behind plastered smiles, my doctors will scribble on their clipboards: Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
From the asylum, I will sit staring a a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
My sanity took the fall.
All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty back together again;
My doctors and family can't put me back together again.
I don't need a therapist.
I don't need a doctor.
I need Cinderella
A janitor,
A maid.
Someone to gather up the broken pieces with their broom,
Sweep all the specks of me, each grain of baggage under their rug
And call it Sanity.
I couldn't even move for a minute after I read you poem. My fingers kept twitching, wanting to go to the keyboard, but I just stared at the screen. This was absolutely flawless and deeply moving. It made my heart hurt and I want to thank you. A poem or story hasn't made me want to cry in years and this one just did. I liked how you changed the font. I don't know if you meant it to emphasize the poem's mood, but it seemed like you did. Also, the fairy tale and nursery rhyme reference brought out the way the person't mind worked. This was an awesome poem and I am going to follow you right now. Great job!
I wanna say really quickly that I absolutely love your poem. Each line is moving, to me, and I can relate very easily and I have to say that I'm left a little bit of a loss for words. I have a habit of reading other reviews before I write on when I came across your slam poem comment and I'll say now I kinda got that vibe from this piece of poetry; it reminds me of OCD by Neil Hilborn too, check it out when you can, it's pretty good. I hope to read more from you soon. And again, great job.
First off just let me say... REALLY GREAT POEM!
I like the fact that it is relate-able. Many people have this "mind wandering" problem. Well, according to the beginning of the poem, the average human has 35 to 48 thoughts per minute...
Speaking of the beginning of the poem, I liked how you used a fact for the introduction. It made me want to keep reading. Some transitions could use a little work but other than that, I felt as if you did a marvelous job of writing your thoughts down on paper(which is sometimes very hard to do.)
Keep up the good work!
~Elephant
I knew when I had this poem idea in mind I wanted tos start off with facts. Yeah I was quite curious about how many thoughts we have a minute and then in an hour and in a day. Truly amazing! Thanks for reading!Just wanted to stop by and say that this poem means a lot to me. I often get caught in a hurricane of thoughts that threaten to blow all I am away. I love you're word and verse choice, I feel that it especially shows the chaos caused by thoughts racing through one's mind. Also, just wondering if you've ever heard of Twenty One Pilots, if not you may want to check them out their songs have a lot to do with this sort of meaning.
I thoroughly enoyed this poem. I feel like the bouncing around from idea to idea is a lot how our thoughts bounce around so erratically. I have lately been practicing mindfulness, where you are more conscious of your spiratic thoughts, and I must say I never realized that I had so many thoughts in one day. In my walk to my car alone I have over 50, and some as random as a childhood memory. I think that is what makes me love this poem so much, I love that its all over the place, but still stays centralized to the theme of sanity. I think its probably the most relatable poem I've ever read. I wouldnt change 1 thing in this poem. I think its brilliant.
Ooh... this was really cool! I love the emotion you put into it, and honestly I've felt the very same way many, many times. I'm glad I saw it in the green room now. Anyway, Cynder here to review, if you don't mind. Overall I think your message was well conveyed, but perhaps not in the best way. You keep circling around jumping from one idea to the next and then back again. One such example is where you describe the horses. Don't worry--this a mistake all of us writers make at least a gazillion times. So... you can use the same words-those are fine-but change their order a little bit. As a reader, I felt a little lost in the middle, because it felt like you were inside your own head. Pour out your inner emotions a little more onto the page and edit your structure, and this could be made into a real masterpiece. Then again, that's all up to you. Now for the good parts; you described the horses pounding on the side of your head very well, though if you want to make it better, find some synonyms for "slammed." Your ideas were original and conveyed your point pretty well. Well done, writer. Keep writing,
Cynder~
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