Cracks emerged across the glassy surface
We tried to patch them up
But the race of time was against us
When we noticed the fissures
The glass was shattered, and sand poured out of the crevices
Each grain, a precious bitter memory lost to infinity
I knew it would end like this
But I was too blind to care
The dark shadow of your love eclipsed the truth
And the throbbing of my heart drowned out the bomb's ticking
We tried to outrun fate, but we only lost the time we thought we saved
I thought we could ride out the storm
Safe and sheltered in the false foundation of this love
The rain pelted us, but we remained unfazed
Thunder roared a warning that we stubbornly ignored
Then the lightning illuminated the night sky in golden streaks
As it touched the ground, our security shattered
The winds raged and tried to separate us
I held onto you like you were my lifeline
You held onto me like I was your other half
For a moment, your embrace transported me to a fantasy world
Where the storm faded away, and I was safe
Until the winds ripped us apart and carried you away
My security crumbled like dust
I screamed your name
But my voice was lost in the rain and thunder
Like you, forever gone
The thunder shattered the hourglass of our love
Jagged shards danced in the storm with the sand
I tried to catch the grains, just to preserve our memories
But they slipped through my fingers and drifted away
When the storm passed I searched the vast fields for you
A path of glittering broken glass guided me
I still did not find you
All I found were specks of dirt-forgotten memories and crushed dreams
At that moment, I knew the sands of time had shifted
Hey,
This is a great poem. The words are strong and creates a vivid image in the reader's mind. You have a way with words. Great work.
Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed my poem.
MAI SWOOCHIEPOE! ^^ <33333
Yup, I am here to review this beautiful piece of yours! =D I haven't reviewed in quite a while and you know how poor my reviewing skills are but I'll try my best to make this a decent review. Just because I love you so much! =P *hands chocolate cookies*
I want to start off with saying that you've really grown as a poet. ^^ When I first read this, I could really see that you've become even more mature than when I last spoke to you a few months ago and it really shows in this poem. The choice of words and the way that you played with them is very lovely and it gives this poem really something special.
(ps: I still grin whenever I read the word "glassy" XD)
I love how you used forces of nature, sand and hourglasses and all that to describe this whole process of losing someone. It all really adds to the imagery!
Alright, I never really like doing this but giving criticism is what really helps us in the end so here it comes. =P GO BACK AND FIX YOUR PUNCTUATION! XD I want to see periods and commas and all that stuff. It'll look more pretty and it will sound a lot better when reading it. ^^
I absolutely love how you finished this poem (the last stanza is my most favorite part by the way ^^). That last sentence totally did it for me. So dramatic and poetic! ^^
Alright, that was it from me! =) Hope this helped a bit and am really proud of you! <3
Love you *hugs*
qaralynn
You are the bestest sasseh glasseh person ever < 333333333
I think this poem is absolutely amazing, the language you have used is vivid and vital and the pain and emotion in the poem is really well conveyed.
Fantastic job
Thank you so much missmezza.
Glad you enjoyed my poem.
Well I liked the imagery, but it was a little repetitive BUt all in all a goood poem. I think it had an interesting message. And it made you think, it also could have been interprated in different ways.
Thanks so much writingmyheartout.
And I agree 100% that it can be interpreted many different ways. 
I'm going to be honest here, you used a lot of words for breaking, including shattering twice and you switched around metaphors a lot which gets very distracting and very confusing. Try to limit it to a few metaphors and it's best if you don't use the same word twice. Also, for the few metaphors you're limiting it too, be even more discriptive, I would really enjoy reading a newer version of this. This is a good piece but I know you can do better. Sorry for any hurt feelings.
Thank you for your honesty JayShay. You're right. I did use the same words twice. I will fix that, and see if I can clean up my metaphors. No hurt feelings. I appreciate the review.
I love the imagery of this piece. Having the hour-glass, already running out of time, but then having fissures in said hour-glass, really adds power to the image of destabilization. I love how the whole piece boils down to chaos and time. The chaos of the storm, the hour-glass, the ticking time bomb, and then the shattering of the hour-glass, the ultimate destruction of time, fading into chaos. It's good that the poem is free verse, trying to constrain this piece with rhyme would have made it lose its power. My only complaint would be that the piece has a little too much going on, however that does play into the theme of chaos so it works well. Overall I enjoyed this piece immensely.
Thank you so much for the review catslikebooks2.
Glad you enjoyed my poem.