my father

The poem is a good one and though short is captivating. One thing would like to o point out to you is that all he last lines actually contradicted that of the beginning. " a good man that will not always remain".
Its nice though, but I think you should try more in overcollecting your poem in a more exonorable archive.

The flow was okay, it was a little off to understand but that's okay! Some poems are like that. I liked the thought of the abuser and the abused. Then the abused becoming the abuser. The poem was a nice little touch to home for me except my grandpa is nicer than my dad.

This is great! I love the theme of how abuse can create abusers, and I can see how afraid the speaker is for their father. I like that you left the theme vague enough so the reader has to do some work but didn't make the verse itself vague. I also like what you did with the line breaks and punctuation, it turns a simple quatrain into something different. My one critique is that your rhyme and rhythm are a little sing-song, but that just takes some practice. Thank you for your poem!

Hey blueca!

My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give your poem a quick review. Firstly, I wanted to extend the warmest of welcomes to YWS. I'm really into content that deconstructs family dynamics and family history, so I was excited to see your poem sitting in the Green Room.

What I like about this poem is how simple it is. Its message is clear, and the structure is easy to follow while still being impactful. It seems as though the through-line is the father, and if the father will continue to be a good man.

That's a really compelling premise, and I think I'd like to see you take it a step further. At the beginning of the poem, the narrator definitely refers to their father as a good man. I was confused by the end, as you refer to the father in the past tense and say "that will not always remain". So either the father has become a bad man, or he died and now the narrator wonders what will become of them. Even though this is from the perspective of the child, the character we follow is essentially the father, and I'd like to see a little bit more of his arc. The bones of it are there.

Secondly, and this is up to you, I'm not sure if I followed how you wrote this out with one or two words being on every line. To me, it made the flow a little wonky, but obviously ,that's up to you.

Hope this helps! Keep writing, and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

Thanks so much!

Elinor