Reminiscing~

Hi,
I get it, but this poem is really confusing me a lot like why you wrote that when you weren't going to explain on that thing. Or why you added that punctuation when it shouldn't be there.

This review is to fulfill the long-but-not-lost request you gave to me.

This poem is a tale of a person that have lost a person or a cat that the person really liked. This person blamed the person or the cat for leaving him/her. Continuously saying why, why, why. I don't mean to do your poem harm or whatever, but I just want to clarify this poem based on my opinion on what might happen in this poem.

I stumble and fall,
I ought to protect others dream,
But when u came along,
I knew that you are my lost dream.

Your eyes sparkles the last time we meet,
As wanting to say "i am always with you",
Do you know you made me a sober?
I have lost my dreams once more.

I did not understand this at all. I feel like the context did not come through at all, although I guess it's about an animal or something. This somehow feels definitely like poetry despite that I cannot recognize any particular poetic elements and I have to definitely give you credit for that though. The emotional expression on this is better than actually quite a lot of poems I've read here but is sort of obscured by the fact that the poem is not very clear or connected. Also, how did you change the font on this? I would like to know how to do that myself for a certain thing I have that changes the font all the time to show who is writing/saying things.

Hey Cynder here, hope you don't mind a review?

I'm not sure what the tone is here. Reminiscing in itself is a powerful word, but it is not all-encompassing. Is it sad? Hateful? Loving? Kind? I just have so many questions. Why, do you ask? Because as the reader, I want to know exactly what you think. That's what makes those master poets and writers so great. The beauty of understanding someone else's work when you have no idea who they really are and through that understanding, you can connect with them... That's one reason why I love writing so much.

I say all this because I can't quite understand your poem to its fullest. But I want to. I want to see its full beauty, its full potential. I want to see what I can tell is there, but is just hidden. The only way to get your work as great as another's is by working at it. Create and edit. It doesn't have to come from nowhere, and as I read below, yours didn't. So keep finding more and more about you and spin it a thousand different ways. That's how you can create more poetry.

Moving on, in stanza one, I think you should have a conjunction between lines one and two. Almost every other line in your poem has one, but that one. If you want, you could use the same conjunction more than once. For example,

"I stumble and fall/ And I ought to protect others' dreams/But when you came along.../And I just knew that you were my lost dream." I'm overlooking all of the tense changes and everything, and just focusing on the words. How they come together, how they read together. Am I making sense? This is just a suggestion, so do with it what you will. But if you decide you want any help, I'll help, no problem. Just message me.

Also, I think your dreams refer to memories, yes? So find a way to tell the reader that. Give us more than just "a dream." Give more detail to the dreams, and then the readers can relate.

Lastly, some good stuff. I liked your poem and I happen to have a pet cat, too. Anyway, keep striving, keep writing, keep fighting.

~Cynder out.

Hello there! Mialynire here for a quick review.

Beautifully written with a neat format (Loving the font, too.) The flow is nice, from the first stanza to the last, you've maintained it nicely. You started with who you used to be and how your life changed with an unexpected arrival- which along with it brought a bunch of happiness. Then, you described the rule of life, the unavoidable thing- letting go. By this, did you mean Death? I mean, it's likely and it sounded as if you were talking about a pet! Like, the words "Furry white" reminds me of something like that- Rabbit or that sort! ^^ Correct me if I'm wrong. I really ain't sure if it was about a pet, if yes, then, the way I can relate to this must not be that weird, haha! :') I had a pet once- a crow called Kito. We were best of friends but I lost him one day. Poof, just gone!

Anyway, I don't see major grammatical errors except maybe the use of "Lite" I think, should be "Lit" so yeah. ^^ Keep writing.