Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
In the increasing downpour, Helm and Delek stood with the girl between them as they heard the sounds of insanity coming from behind the Manor. Men screamed in utter fear and gunshots sounded off, ear-shatteringly loud and unmistakable, echoing off into the forest. Delek had the girl's arm tight behind her back, but she offered little resistance.
"What the hell's going on back there?"
"Hell if I know. Should we check it out?"
"I dunno. I think I value my life a little
more than-"
Without warning, the girl drove the back
of her head into Delek's face; The sound of which was disturbing, to say the
least.
He howled in pain and the girl used the
opportunity to break free, and just like that she was running. She took off
across the courtyard, with all the grace of an athlete.
"That bitch!" Delek's voice was nasal and choked with
blood, as he clutched his ruined nose. He hastily yanked his pistol out of his
leather holster and started running after her with a drunken wobble.
"Delek, wait!" Helm Medrik's hand was
forced; He drew his pistol and took after Delek and the girl.
They chased her for several hundred yards;
Delek panted noisily with effort, but the girl showed no sign of slowing down;
In fact she seemed to be gaining speed, even in the downpour.
There were several times when Helm nearly
ate it, but he kept running after them. He knew what Delek was going to do, but
couldn't seem to catch up to him to stop him.
"Fuck this!"
It was then that Delek stopped running,
planted his feet firmly in the ground, and took aim.
Oh gods, please don't
do this.
He did. Delek adjusted a knob on the side
of the pistol, and from twenty feet away Helm could hear the gun's auto-aim
mechanism churning.
He fired.
The bullet caught the girl in the back and
she fell onto her knees on the entrance to the mountain road, her hands
splashing into a puddle.
Time felt as if it had crawled to a stop
as Helm tackled Delek into the mud; They went down in a tangle of arms and
curses, as Helm
tried to wrest the eerily straight-pointed pistol from Delek's grasp. Delek's
fist connected with his chin and Helm saw stars, lost his grip. Delek delivered
another blow to his face and Helm rolled over and groaned, tasting the
coppery tang of blood.
As they looked on, the girl stood up
shakily, and, incredibly, started running again. Blood ran down from the entry
wound,
diluted with rain water.
Helm couldn't do anything now; He could
only watch as Delek fired another round into the girl's back.
Only then did she seem to slow down; Her
sprint degraded to a stagger, and she fell on her knees once more. She
collapsed into a crumpled heap in the mud.
There was a moment before Helm could
register what had just happened.
"Delek... What did you do?!"
"She took off, so I took her down. The
Queen wanted her dead anyway."
Helm pushed himself off the ground, swayed
until he found his footing.
He gripped the collar of Delek's uniform and held him inches from his
face.
"Who told you that!? Queen Armaea
herself!? You
fucking idiot!!!"
"Medrik, calm down. You're getting
hysterical."
"Hysterical? That guy in there is going to
flay us and drape our skin over the hood of his
car! Do you have any idea what you've just done? He said that girl
was an asset to the Queen. You killed her. You!"
Delek glanced at the girl lying dead in
the road, his bloody face now a mask of worry.
"Shit, I didn't really think that one out."
"Nooo... You think!? You've really fucked us over here Delek. Also,
thanks for the shiner. Fucking prick."
"You're welcome."
Helm found his arm moving of its own
accord, and before he knew it his fist connected with Delek's cheek. Delek
staggered back and dropped the gun, and Helm was on him in an instant, grabbing
him by the front of his shirt and trying to throw him to the ground.
It was then that they heard the hum of an
engine, and noticed they were illuminated in headlights.
The headlights glared at them,
illuminating the corpse of the girl on the road through a screen of raindrops.
It was a red car with tinted windows, fairly inexpensive from the look of it,
and quiet for its size. A rental, perhaps?
Shit... Did somebody
forget to lock the gate back up?
A woman in black stepped out, and Helm
felt his bladder let go when he recognized her. His hands which held a furious
grip upon Delek's uniform let go, suddenly feeling old and weak.
It's that woman from
the airfield.
She first glanced down at the body with
eyes as cold as winter, the rain soaking her black locks into a tumultuous
mess.
Then her gaze lighted upon the two of
them, and Helm was certain he would die right then and there.
"Which one of you did this?"
"Who wants to know?"
"So I'm guessing it was you. Delek
Argland, was it? Lance Corporal of the 18th Special Operations unit?"
There was a stunned silence, and Delek's
jaw almost hit the mud.
The two of them stood staring, as the rain
beat down on the hood of the car with a gentle tempo only played by nature.
Delek reached for his other gun.
The woman drew hers much quicker. She
aimed dead at Delek with a silenced pistol, and with a sound similar to a girl
modestly sneezing, it went off.
Delek jerked back, his right eye suddenly
nonexistent. He stumbled a couple paces, one moment's terror eternally
etched into his features.
He fell square on his back with a splash,
and Helm stared in shock as a pool of dark blood seeped out from behind the
horror that was his skull.
A revelation came to Helm and shook him to
his very core.
Before they had got on the highway, Fire
Team Charlie had stopped
reporting in. Helm had tried to get them on the horn several times, but
they never heard so much as a whisper.
The Queen's assassin had waved it off with
with nary a shit given, but
Helm had felt a rock forming in his gut the entire time. When he had
seen the flames shooting out of the alley Dreslim and his olive
R-model had once occupied, he knew this wasn't just some routine visit
with one of the Queen's handpicked lords who had gotten himself in some
trouble.
No, this was something much more sinister;
That the Mayor and his ilk
were being taken outside to be shot like dogs was indicative of the
fact.
She's been hunting us
from the very beginning. She wiped out Charlie.
"And you must be Lance Corporal Helm
Medrik."
Helm then turned and saw that she was
aiming at him. His legs gave out and he collapsed into the mud on his knees,
and held his hands above his head. He dropped the pistol and it fell half
submerged in mud.
"Please! Leave me my life! I had nothing
to do with it! I tried to stop him, but he went rogue! Please! I'm just a conscript... I don't want to be
here! I didn't even want to join the military! Please..."
She stared at him with all the solemnity
of hell itself, kept her pistol trained at him.
Then, she lowered it.
"Fine then. I'll leave you your pitiful
life. Gods know they'll execute you for a deserter anyway."
Helm felt his chest heaving, his breath
became ragged and he started to sob with relief.
"Oh gods... Thank you... Thank you..."
***
Mara watched as the lad took off running
down the mountain road, and vanished behind the treeline. She sighed with
disgust, and knelt down before the prone form of Lapis.
Gently holding her shoulders, she rolled
Lapis over and held two fingers against her neck.
Her carotid artery pulsed, but weakly. The
girl was alive. As if Mara really
had to check in the first place.
Her attention turned to the Manor, which
seemed to radiate chaos, black like the ink of an octopus. She heard a
commotion from within, and checked her magazine. Thirteen rounds; Three had
found their way into Fire Team Charlie back in the side streets of Marta, and
another had kicked Delek Argland out of the realm of the living.
She was
definitely going to need more.
She gently hoisted Lapis onto her
shoulders, ignoring the mud caked on the girl's frontal features. Her
prosthetic right arm whirred with effort; it allowed her to carry many times
her own weight, but it didn't refrain from bitching about it. The rain wasn't
helping either.
Mara laid Lapis on the backseat, and
closed the door. Next, she opened the trunk, and inspected the weapons laid
within.
A G-24 semi-automatic rifle, with a red
dot scope and a blacksteel compensator attached to the muzzle; A double barrel
shotgun, which became a liability as soon as it had to be loaded; And lastly, a
DW-24 light machine gun with a box mag and collapsible stock.
Whoever fastened
that on such a notoriously unwieldy gun was either an idiot or a bear-kin...
Mara hoped for the latter, though her human frame would make it difficult to
wield such a weapon.
She took three magazines of ten millimeter
ammo from a satchel in the corner and closed the trunk.
Waste not, want not.
***
They slammed the back door and barred it,
running full speed into the foyer. The Mayor coughed, and spoke in a voice
choked with pain.
"Aurin... Let me down."
It wasn't until they laid the Mayor down
on a sofa in the foyer that Angela and Aurin noticed his shirt had a dark spot
slowly growing on it, like a flower blooming in the night.
Aurin touched it, and his fingers came
away bloody.
Angela held her hands to her mouth, her
eyes as wide as the moon.
The Mayor smiled feebly, reached above his
head to touch Angela's face. "I'm so sorry."
"What for?"
"I'm sorry I got you involved in this
mess. I had tried to get you out of Marta for years... For you to... Take
tutelage at the University of Anhelion, or perhaps somewhere farther... It
seems like I was too late."
"No! Don't say that! It's not too late!
You're going to be fine, dad."
"Angela... The last time I was shot, I
only lost my legs. I have somewhat realistic expectations this time." He
coughed, and blood bubbled on his lips. "Aurin, you need to take her and go."
"With all due respect, Your Honor, you can
take a jog down the mountain with that bullshit. I'm not leaving you here to
die on your sofa."
"Damnit boy..." The Mayor broke into
another fit of coughing, blood pouring out of the entry wound on his chest.
Aurin could hear air escaping from it with a soft wheeze. "I'm done. It's about
time I went to meet my wife, and my children..."
Angela broke into tears, clasping her
father's hand with the ferocity of grief. "No... I'm still here!"
The Mayor smiled. "I know."
He stopped coughing then. His grip on
Angela's hand weakened, as his gaze drifted up to the ceiling and he said not
another word.
There was silence between the two of them,
and Aurin thought it best to close the Mayor's eyes. In death, he lay in utter
repose, having made his peace with his life at the last moment.
They heard Abaiss' men bashing at the back
door; Glass shattered, and angry shouting resonated throughout the Manor.
Then, Aurin stood up.
"W-where are you going?"
"I don't know, Angela. Probably to die out
there, like I was supposed to."
"Sparrow... I mean... Aurin."
Angela
thought to object, but then she thought of the moment when she had given her
life up to fate, when they stood before the firing squad. When ice had slain
their transgressors, and Aurin had saved them. She knew it was him, even if she
didn't know how or why.
"Kill him. Kill that son of a bitch."
Aurin came into the kitchen from the side
entrance, and crouched, waiting. Waiting for the first unlucky Galthirian dog
to come through that back door.
A hand reached in through the broken
window, and grasped the wooden bar that held the back door shut. Hastily, it
lifted the bar and it fell with a clattering din on the tile floor.
A man with a scarred face and apathetic
grey-green eyes stepped through, his gun pointed forward. His insignia bore the
rank of Corporal, and his name badge said "Wellmar".
Aurin stood up and tackled Wellmar like a
wild animal, adrenaline and pure rage seeming to lift his feet for him.
Wellmar noticed Aurin at the last second
as he came crashing into him. Aurin grappled him by the neck and with the
weight of his own body slammed him against the counter and cabinets; The
cabinets splintered and ceramic dishes were heard to shatter. Wellmar fell to
his knees and his gun clattered onto the floor.
Wellmar scrabbled for his gun, but Aurin
kicked it away. It slid a few feet away under a table.
"Oh gods, not again."
Aurin kicked him savagely in the temple;
Wellmar went out cold, falling back against the countertop and then sagging
unceremoniously onto the floor.
Aurin looked outside into the grey expanse
of the evening, and heard a gunshot from outside. Two, to be exact.
Then a third, much closer to his current
position. He felt the wind stir next to his face and felt a momentary heat;
Then a smoking hole appeared in the kitchen wall facing the back door, ten
millimeters in diameter.
Abaiss was still standing under the
gazebo, with the bodies of his men nailed into the ground about him. He had
discarded his frozen gun, and at a great cost it seemed; The hand holding a
scavenged gun dripped with blood. He adjusted the auto-aim on the pistol and
made ready to fire again.
Aurin leaped out of Abaiss' line of sight
as the gun went off and the auto-aim found a new target at the last second.
Wellmar's head jerked as a red flower erupted from his temple and splattered
blood and bits of bone upon the cabinets.
Aurin slid under the table and grabbed
Wellmar's gun; The gun felt heavy in his hands, probably due to the auto-aim
mechanism built into the rear sight.
This is it. I'm gonna
make you pay.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Ascension Chapter 5- TyrPoints:
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Hey beans~
Mara is even cooler than I thought she was going to be when we first met her. Her arm is pretty neat.
Alright... the mayor's death is... pretty cliche. I mean, it's basically a repeat of the death of the wise old man role that's always done. I'm only a little sad because, yeah, the mayor was a cool guy, but I'm not feeling Sparrow's or Angela's reaction at all. Since the characters don't seem to be too upset, I'm not that upset as the reader.
I'm also really confused about the frozen affect of this rain now. Did it kill people? Why didn't it kill everyone? Why was Abaiss' gun frozen and useless but seemingly no one elses' is since he scavenged one? This rain seems to have very convenient, unpredictable consequences.
There was so much build up to this moment and now there is so much happening all at once, I kinda wish you would slow down a little so we could savor all of the excitement and plot happening. It might also help with the confusion. Slowing down just a bit to explore how characters are reacting, thinking, and feeling would be a way to ensure your readers are on the same page with you.
I'm still really pumped to move onto the next part though. We seem to have hit the action packed part of your novel.
Megs~
Hey, Beans. I'm totally going to stick with this series and keep on trucking through the reviews for review day and simply because I enjoy this series and I do believe this is the final review that will push you out of the green room!

Still not interested in grammar and punctuation
I'll start by saying that during the first couple of paragraphs, I would have liked there to be a little bit more description with the fear that was happening in the men when the gunshots went off. I would have liked to be able to hear the crack of Delek's face. It was disturbing but I feel like if it was described deeper it would have been awesome.
It was then that Delek stopped running, planted his feet firmly in the ground, and took aim.
Oh gods, please don't do this.
He did. Delek adjusted a knob on the side of the pistol, and from twenty feet away Helm could hear the gun's auto-aim mechanism churning.
He fired.
The bullet caught the girl in the back and she fell onto her knees on the entrance to the mountain road, her hands splashing into a puddle.
This section was my favorite. I can't exactly pin point as to why I enjoyed it so much but I think that it could be because when the girl fell, it just seemed so realistic and as if I was watching the scene unfold.
The very last couple of paragraphs were shocking and nerve wracking. What's going to happen next? I really can't wait to read more of this story.
Hi!



Well. That was intense. And scary. And I'm not going to lie, that last sentence has got me terrified for going to bed tonight, but overall I really loved this chapter!
I loved all the relationships of love you built up, like the mayor and his daughter, despite the violent conflict going on all around them. It such a stark contrast but you executed it very well, and you got me hooked so easily!
I loved you descriptions too! One in particular was "Delek delivered another blow to his face and Helm rolled over and groaned, tasting the coppery tang of blood."
It such a simple description about how blood tastes but its really effective!
My only little nitpick was here : ""Oh gods, not again.""
Whether you believe on God or not, God hold always have a capital letter, because he is personified somewhat when we call him God.
Overall I think the last sentence was my favourite, because it got me wanting to read on, and I thought your use of italics was very effective and extremely well placed!
Overall you did an amazing job with this chapter and I'm really looking forward to reading more! Well done!