Getting up from her chair Clare wrapped Scarlett in a hug.
"I'm going to get going home. I've had enough fun for tonight. Tell Serena I said bye?"
"Of course I will. You take care of yourself child."
With a final wave Clare disappeared through the crowd. Walking into the crisp night air she breathed it in.
"He didn't rough you up too bad."
Jumping at the male voice she turned her head. Squinting she found him leaning against the brick wall hands stuffed in his leather jacket. Holding herself perfectly still she waited till he stood under the lampost. If he tried anything she'd book it back inside.
"Why are you standing out here alone?"
Tilting her face up she guessed him to be at least six foot two. Green eyes searched hers.
"I followed your harrassment out, made sure he really got gone. I doubted you'd stick around after that scene."
"Thank you for that. I appreciate it. That's not the sole reason you're out here though, is it?"
A smile tugged at his lips.
"You caught me. I intended to walk you to your car. Being as that's the type of gentleman I am."
Looking into his eyes she didn't sense that he was lying. Still, it was best she kept her guard up to be on the safe side.
"Thank you-again." Turning on her heel she started walking. Making their way in silence her mind turned back to their earlier encounter. The intensity in his eyes had been riviting, the way he slouched intimidating. Thinking on it now she didn't recall any women eyeing him. Hunching into her jacket she berated her thoughts. Why should she care? Crossing the street she took her keys from her purse hitting the un-lock. Wrapping her fingers around the door handle she turned her face up to his.
"It was nice of you to walk me to my car. You make a fine gentleman..."
"The names Declan. Nice to meet you..."
Biting her lip she shook her head no. Yes it was rude not to give her name in turn, but the grey area surfaced again, a cruel reminder.
Chuckling he nodded. "Alright, you don't have to tell me mystery woman, drive safe." Walking back in the direction they'd come he gave a backward wave.
Climbing into her car her only thoughts were getting home and into a hot shower and falling into a deep sleep.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Hello! First I'd like to say that this is a nice chapter and I like scene, where the man helped the woman to the car. You really did a nice job in that part. Of course there are some grammatical errors but nobody is perfect. Anyways, it's still a nice read and I look forward to reading more. I know this is just chapter 2, but you should still keep up the good work. The only thing I would tell you is to spend just a little more time on each piece. Thank you
-Mizo
Hello! Happy September Review Day! I'm going to write down any nitpicks I find as I read so sorry if I pick on something that would have made sense if I'd read on. Oh, and if you have any questions about anything I've said feel free to ask me.
Rule #1
"Getting up from her chair Clare wrapped Scarlett in a hug."
Getting up from her chair, Clare wrapped Scarlett in a hug.
See how you forgot the comma?
"I'm going to get going home. I've had enough fun for tonight. Tell Serena I said bye?"
"I'm going to get home, I've had enough fun for tonight. Tell Serena I said bye?"
Also, you should mention who is talking so the readers do not get confused.
"Walking into the crisp night air she breathed it in."
You should say something like: Walking home, she breathed in the crisp night air.
Just watch what words you use. Some of it doesn't make sense. Perhaps have another read through and watch for errors.
""The names Declan. Nice to meet you..."
The name's Declan.
"I followed your harrassment out, made sure he really got gone. I doubted you'd stick around after that scene."
This needs to be reworded. You can't 'follow out harassment'.
Here some info that might help you with using commas...
Spoiler
A comma must precede a coordinating conjunction  0;FANBOYS 1; that joins two independent clauses. This comma marks where one independent clause ends and the next one begins.
Example:
My brother studies at Harvard, but I will attend Cal State Long Beach.
Remember: Do not place a comma between coordinate word groups that are NOT independent clauses. In other words, do not separate two verb clauses that share the same subject. For example, a comma is unnecessary before “and” in the following sentence: I am hungry and want to eat a hamburger.
Rule #2
A comma should follow clauses that add information but are not necessary to the understanding of the meaning of the main sentence. These clauses include a 1; subordinate clauses, b 1; participle clauses that describe the subject immediately following them, c 1; transitional expressions, and d 1; introductory clauses that add information about when, where, why, or under what conditions the action of the sentence took place. This comma separates these types of clauses from the main sentence.
Examples:
a 1; While math problems have definite answers, there is no “right” way to write an essay.
b 1; Using the chalkboard, the professor drew a brainstorming diagram.
c 1; Alice is an English major; therefore, she will probably not make much money.
d 1; During last summer’s camping trip, the park rangers led us on a hike.
Rule #3
A comma separates each item in a series that includes three or more words or phrases. Do not include a comma after the last item in the list, as this will separate the subject from its verb.
Example:
Misused commas, dangling modifiers, and run-on sentences are some of the common grammatical issues in student writing.
Rule #4
A comma should be placed both before and after a parenthetical phrase that provides supplemental information or an afterthought.
Examples:
Writing, as far as I know, is a difficult and time-consuming process no matter how much experience you have.
Both commas and semicolons, as we will examine later, function differently in a sentence.
 0;http://www.csulb.edu/colleges/cla/departments/english/wrl/handouts/the-four-basic-rules-for-comma-usage/ 1;
So just fix those few things I pointed out and you'll be well on your way!